Niece Invite Drama Causing Havoc

cdutka

ok I am 55 and having my second wedding.  My niece is one of my bridesmaids.  She insists that she bring her new boyfriend of 8 weeks that no one in my family except for her brother has met.  I say no, she will end up not being my bridesmaid and spending all time with him.  My fiancé feels the same.  She is a drama queen and is going to throw one of her famous tantrums.  I am adamant about her not stealing my thunder as I marry the love of my life but I am being pressured to allow this.  We refuse to have our wedding held hostage by this spoiled brat but I fear she will say she will not stand up if we do not allow this.  Help!  I am a wreck over here.  We are 23 days out.

Liatris2010

cdutka said:

ok I am 55 and having my second wedding.  My niece is one of my bridesmaids.  She insists that she bring her new boyfriend of 8 weeks that no one in my family except for her brother has met.  I say no, she will end up not being my bridesmaid and spending all time with him.  My fiancé feels the same.  She is a drama queen and is going to throw one of her famous tantrums.  I am adamant about her not stealing my thunder as I marry the love of my life but I am being pressured to allow this.  We refuse to have our wedding held hostage by this spoiled brat but I fear she will say she will not stand up if we do not allow this.  Help!  I am a wreck over here.  We are 23 days out.

Anyone in a relationship must be invited with their significant other. That includes your niece. Can you please explain how a guest bringing a date "steals your thunder"?

southernbelle0915

Whether it's her boyfriend of 2 months or two years, it's her boyfriend and you should invite him. 

How on earth would she not a BM just because her boyfriend is in the room? That makes no sense. All she has to do as a BM is stand up there during the ceremony and take some photos. I'm sure she can handle that whether her boyfriend attends or not. 

Yes, there will likely be drama if you tell her no. But it'll be YOUR fault because it's wrong to exclude SOs. 

beachyone15

I call MUD on this one.

Liatris2010

beachyone15 said:

I call MUD on this one.

Because there isn't enough of that today.

JediElizabeth

Liatris2010 said:

cdutka said:

ok I am 55 and having my second wedding.  My niece is one of my bridesmaids.  She insists that she bring her new boyfriend of 8 weeks that no one in my family except for her brother has met.  I say no, she will end up not being my bridesmaid and spending all time with him.  My fiancé feels the same.  She is a drama queen and is going to throw one of her famous tantrums.  I am adamant about her not stealing my thunder as I marry the love of my life but I am being pressured to allow this.  We refuse to have our wedding held hostage by this spoiled brat but I fear she will say she will not stand up if we do not allow this.  Help!  I am a wreck over here.  We are 23 days out.

Anyone in a relationship must be invited with their significant other. That includes your niece. Can you please explain how a guest bringing a date "steals your thunder"?

Seconded, as long as they're an adult. How old is your niece? If she's like 13, I'd say it's more open for debate, but if she's 18 or older, he should be invited.

beachyone15

Liatris2010 said:

beachyone15 said:

I call MUD on this one.

Because there isn't enough of that today.

Seriously. I feel like posts on E keep getting more and more outrageous.

OliveOilsMom

How old is your niece?  If she is under 18 and still in high school, I don't think you need to invite her boyfriend.  But if she is over 18 you are in the wrong.  She will not steal your thunder if the bf comes.  You will be one of the two getting married, so it will be very hard to steal thunder, IMO.

Jen4948

Inviting someone to a wedding without their SO is rude and hurtful.  When that someone is in your wedding party, the rudeness and hurtfulness skyrockets.

Just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean she won't walk up and down the aisle with you.  That's the only thing she has to do as your bridesmaid.  There's no way her having a boyfriend can "steal your thunder."

Two years ago I was invited to a wedding without my then-BF of 2 1/2 years, by someone I'd known for many, many years, because of a stupid "no ring no bring" policy that was very hurtful.  Prior to that there was no way this person (and his SO) would have been left off my guest list, but their rude and hurtful act has made me reconsider whether to invite them at all.

julieanne912

I feel lame, but what does MUD stand for?  I get the meaning.  

And uh yeah to the OP, you're 50-fucking-5 and you're worried about your niece "stealing your thunder"?  Jesus Christ....

WinstonsGirl

MUD = Made up Drama

lyndausvi

What are you 14?          How is your niece's BF going to "steal your thunder?"     

Seriously,

And calling your BM a brat?   You are a peach.

Maggie0829

cdutka said:

ok I am 55 and having my second wedding.  My niece is one of my bridesmaids.  She insists that she bring her new boyfriend of 8 weeks that no one in my family except for her brother has met.  I say no, she will end up not being my bridesmaid and spending all time with him.  My fiancé feels the same.  She is a drama queen and is going to throw one of her famous tantrums.  I am adamant about her not stealing my thunder as I marry the love of my life but I am being pressured to allow this.  We refuse to have our wedding held hostage by this spoiled brat but I fear she will say she will not stand up if we do not allow this.  Help!  I am a wreck over here.  We are 23 days out.

I am sorry but are you sure you are 55?  Because seriously with the stealing my thunder crap you sound like you are 10.

Your niece has a SO so that SO needs to be invited.  Not sure what the bolded means because all your niece has to do on your wedding day is walk down the aisle, stand up with you during your ceremony and smile for pictures.  Other then that, once the reception starts she is just a guest.

And if I was your niece I would be pretty freaking pissed at you if you didn't invite my SO just because it has "only been 8 weeks (can we say judgmental)" and because you haven't met him. All relationships start somewhere and all relationships should be respected regardless of length or whether or not you have met the SO.

lyndausvi

by her logic bridesmaids can't be married, engaged or dating because then they can't devote their entire time to the bride.

That is not how it works.   

Liatris2010

If the BMs are expected to be so busy fawning over the bride, why do we even need a groom? Call off the wedding and have a pamper me party instead. You can sit in a massage chair. One BM can give you an mani, the other a pedi. One can feed you grapes while another fans you with a palm frond. The guests can look on in awe.

Or you can grow the fuck up, get over the idea that everyone needs to be solely focused on you, and actually enjoy your wedding eating, drinking, and dancing with your new spouse.

NowIAmSyp

You know, most of the time I'm ok with OP's posting and and running, and never coming back to explain things...  but good god, I hope this one comes back!  

Maggie0829

I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that OP is acting/thinking this way and is 55.

randomslove

I wonder if this is my crazy, self-obsessed aunt. I could see her posting this, because she thinks this way. However, I don't want to unblock her profiles on Facebook to see if she's remarrying her husband yet, because then it's like inviting the crazy into my life. I am curious, but I don't actually care, ya know?

zitiqueen

Why on earth did you ask her to be a BM when you clearly dislike her?

NowIamMrsKlein

1) My FI and I said I love you before 8 weeks and were already starting to discuss marriage. So length of time they have been together has no bearing on this situation.

2) Why is she your bridesmaid if you obviously don't hold her in any sort of regard

3) You say since she will bring a BF, this means your thunder will be stolen and she wont pay attention to you as a bride. So are all of your guests single then? Because heaven forbid that someone is in a relationship other than you on your wedding day

If she is over 18 then the SO needs to be invited. If she is under 18, then it is not necessarily needed but would be a nice gesture since you know, you love her so much that you asked her to be in your bridal party. NO ONE WILL STEAL YOUR THUNDER ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. NO ONE. Have a glass of wine. Chill out. 

cdutka

Wow all I wanted was an opinion not a judgement.  No need to cuss at me.

arrrghmatey

You're 55? Seriously, *you're* the one acting like a brat. Grow up, and invite your bridesmaid's SO.

Maggie0829

cdutka said:

Wow all I wanted was an opinion not a judgement.  No need to cuss at me.

You did get opinions.  Our opinions were for you to stop acting like an immature adolescent and start acting like the adult your age reflects.

cdutka

I did come back and thank you all for your advice.  Well taken as I really wanted to know if it was me.  I guess it is but all of the cussing and ridiculous remarks were uncalled for.  Thanks anyway

TrixieJess

cdutka said:

Wow all I wanted was an opinion not a judgement.  No need to cuss at me.

Really? That's all you have to say?

Welcome to the internet! People swear. They tell you the truth. Grow up, invite people's SOs, stop being all "me, me, me" and think about your guests. 

Maggie0829

cdutka said:

I did come back and thank you all for your advice.  Well taken as I really wanted to know if it was me.  I guess it is but all of the cussing and ridiculous remarks were uncalled for.  Thanks anyway

What is ridiculous is a 55 year old woman thinking that her niece is going to steal her thunder.

cdutka

**Removed by Admin for TOS Violation**

Maggie0829

Wow, aren't you a lovely MUD covered trolly peach!

novella1186

zitiqueen said:

Why on earth did you ask her to be a BM when you clearly dislike her?

I was wondering this as well. You refer to her as a "spoiled brat" and are ranting that she'll "steal your thunder" (wow) so it seems like you don't even like her and you definitely don't sound like you respect her (or her relationship). Why is she your BM at all? 

cdutka

**Removed by Admin for TOS Violation**

lyndausvi

Looks like we have a troll.  A bad one at that.