Wedding party gifts

[Deleted User]

I'm finalizing the finer points of the budget, and I'm wondering what percentage is a good amount to spend on parent and attendant gifts (plus readers, FG, officiant). So far about 3% of the budget is going towards gifts -- wow, that sounds really low as I write it.

Anyways, I know to pick them out non wedding day attire and to be personalized as though I'm shopping for their birthday. Is there any useful price ranges on how much I should spend on them? The only thing I've found is it should match their cost on attire, but I'm just having them pick out their own dresses, so everyone will likely be wearing a dress that costs differently -- plus if that's the case then I will definitely need to rework my budget a bit! I want to make sure they feel appreciated for their part in making our day awesome and being wonderful friends whom we love.

Also, slightly unrelated: the FG is going through a heavy duty princess phase, and I was thinking of giving her a tiara from Disneyland. Is this a gift, or should I include something extra? She naturally doesn't *have* to wear it for the wedding, but I imagine she will want to. She also has three siblings, will they feel left out if she's given a gift and they aren't? How is the best way to approach this since they're all going to be at the RH where I was planning on giving the gifts out.

Edit: paragraphs

Maggie0829

I have never heard of a specific percentage or matching the cost of their dresses as a way to determine the price point for wedding party gifts.  I basically spent what I felt comfortable spending, which was about $100 on my two BMs.  So I say spend what you are comfortable spending.

For the FG, I would talk to her parents for gift suggestions.  A tiara is cute, especially since she is going through a princess phase, but they may have some insight as to what she may be really wanting.

As for the FGs siblings and their reaction to not getting a gift, well that is up to their parents to explain that only members of the wedding party get gifts.  Or give the FG her gift at another time, maybe the day of your wedding.

MobKaz

Spoonsey said:

I'm finalizing the finer points of the budget, and I'm wondering what percentage is a good amount to spend on parent and attendant gifts (plus readers, FG, officiant). So far about 3% of the budget is going towards gifts -- wow, that sounds really low as I write it.

Anyways, I know to pick them out non wedding day attire and to be personalized as though I'm shopping for their birthday. Is there any useful price ranges on how much I should spend on them? The only thing I've found is it should match their cost on attire, but I'm just having them pick out their own dresses, so everyone will likely be wearing a dress that costs differently -- plus if that's the case then I will definitely need to rework my budget a bit! I want to make sure they feel appreciated for their part in making our day awesome and being wonderful friends whom we love.

Also, slightly unrelated: the FG is going through a heavy duty princess phase, and I was thinking of giving her a tiara from Disneyland. Is this a gift, or should I include something extra? She naturally doesn't *have* to wear it for the wedding, but I imagine she will want to. She also has three siblings, will they feel left out if she's given a gift and they aren't? How is the best way to approach this since they're all going to be at the RH where I was planning on giving the gifts out.

Edit: paragraphs

I agree with everything Maggie said. I am a MOB and MOG. I have attended many weddings in my lifetime. I have been on The Knot for a few years now. I have NEVER heard that the cost of a gift should match the price point of the BM dress.

[Deleted User]

There was an old thread where it was brought up, and it's where I'm getting my info: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/304824/how-much-should-i-spend-on-bridesmaids-gifts/p1 but I am more than happy to disregard it if you guys say it's bad info.

What I'm comfortable spending?  That's difficult.  We're about 1000 over budget, and later this week FI and I are going to sit down and talk about what things really matter to us, and what things we are okay to save on.  Being 1000 over budget means I'm financially comfortable with a very small amount, but I'm even less comfortable with our wedding party feeling unappreciated because we skimped on their gifts.  

Maggie0829

Honestly, my budget for my wedding party came out of my own personal bank account, not the wedding budget.  And I didn't do that because my parents paid for our wedding, but because I really didn't consider this a wedding cost really.  These were gifts to thank my friend and my sister for being such big parts of my life, not only because they were in my wedding.

And how will they know that you skimped on their gifts.  That would mean that they are expecting something, when really they shouldn't be expecting anything at all.  Don't over think this.  Get them what you believe would be a great gift for them individually within a price point that you can afford.  Write a heartfelt thank you note to go along with it.  If you personalize the gift then the cost associated with it shouldn't even matter because the fact that you took time and thought is how they will feel appreciated.

hellohkb

It really depends on what you feel comfortable spending. I have 7 bridesmaids and no one really spends more than $50 for each others Christmas or birthday gifts for each other.

It doesn't have to be super expensive, just get things they'd like. For example, one bridesmaid likes jewelry and artisanal soaps, so I got her a necklace and a bar of artisanal soap from a local shop. Another bridesmaids likes art supplies and cats, so I'm getting her art markers she really likes and probably some sort of accessory involving cats.

[Deleted User]

Hmmm... Okay, I may have over thought this (just don't tell my FI that.... this may not be the first time I'm being informed I'm overthinking the wedding details... I'm a planner, and a procrastinator, and I *may* have a tight deadline coming up that inspires some... ahem... "non-deadline related over thinking.")  Thanks guys!

julieanne912

Maggie0829 said:

Honestly, my budget for my wedding party came out of my own personal bank account, not the wedding budget.  And I didn't do that because my parents paid for our wedding, but because I really didn't consider this a wedding cost really.  These were gifts to thank my friend and my sister for being such big parts of my life, not only because they were in my wedding.

And how will they know that you skimped on their gifts.  That would mean that they are expecting something, when really they shouldn't be expecting anything at all.  Don't over think this.  Get them what you believe would be a great gift for them individually within a price point that you can afford.  Write a heartfelt thank you note to go along with it.  If you personalize the gift then the cost associated with it shouldn't even matter because the fact that you took time and thought is how they will feel appreciated.

This.  I didn't consider the gifts into my wedding budget.  I think in my head I gave myself a max of $200 per gift, but it was a rather arbitrary number.  I spent around $150 for my MOH and about $70 for my mom.  FI spent about $50 each for gifts for the officiant (his friend who volunteered) and his best man.  I also spent about $20 for a friend who is doing a reading for us at the ceremony.  

I found something I thought they each would like.  All the women got necklaces, but I only did that because they all like jewelry, and each necklace is very different and fits their style.  FI picked his guys gifts out, he's doing engraved flasks with matching shot glasses.  

msuprincess04

I budgeted $100 per attendant, but they didn't all come out that way. Some came out cheaper (friend helped out with her employee discount for a huge discount on a pearl necklace), and some at a bit more (a rare tequila find for the BM). But, for the most part, we stuck with the intended budget for all.

missa011

julieanne912 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Honestly, my budget for my wedding party came out of my own personal bank account, not the wedding budget.  And I didn't do that because my parents paid for our wedding, but because I really didn't consider this a wedding cost really.  These were gifts to thank my friend and my sister for being such big parts of my life, not only because they were in my wedding.

And how will they know that you skimped on their gifts.  That would mean that they are expecting something, when really they shouldn't be expecting anything at all.  Don't over think this.  Get them what you believe would be a great gift for them individually within a price point that you can afford.  Write a heartfelt thank you note to go along with it.  If you personalize the gift then the cost associated with it shouldn't even matter because the fact that you took time and thought is how they will feel appreciated.

This.  I didn't consider the gifts into my wedding budget.  I think in my head I gave myself a max of $200 per gift, but it was a rather arbitrary number.  I spent around $150 for my MOH and about $70 for my mom.  FI spent about $50 each for gifts for the officiant (his friend who volunteered) and his best man.  I also spent about $20 for a friend who is doing a reading for us at the ceremony.  

I found something I thought they each would like.  All the women got necklaces, but I only did that because they all like jewelry, and each necklace is very different and fits their style.  FI picked his guys gifts out, he's doing engraved flasks with matching shot glasses.  

Agreed. FI and I paid for our gifts ourselves; while I am giving all 3 BMs the same gift in different variations to suit them (cookies they like, wine/alcohol they drink, nail decals because they are adorable, etc.), my FI went with something specific to each of his GMs so his $ changed. We also each got something for a reader.

I'm spending around 100 on each girl, plus a little more on my MOH/sister (like julieanne a pretty arbitrary number). My sister didn't get gifts for any of her BMs when she got married and no one felt slighted. Do what you feel comfortable with. No one is going to complain it wasn't enough.

[Deleted User]

Kids need to learn that just because another person gets gifts doesn't mean that they will. Good time to learn that lesson.

I don't have a bridal party so I'm haven't had to think about how much to spend on gifts very much. We are giving our parents cards and wedding albums and I'm giving my "stylists" gifts in the $25-$50 range; same for our readers.

csuave

I have a somewhat "standard" amount that I use for gifts for birthdays, Christmas and weddings.  I just went with that amount for my BP and reader.

[Deleted User]

I wouldn't worry about percentage, focus on what you can afford. I went a little simple on our gifts, but we also paid for the girls dresses for them and paid a large chunk of the tux rentals for the guys.

ShesSoCold

I spent about $220 on my sister as my MOH. But it was also her thank you for the shower and she was my only BM. We don't really exchange gifts so I wanted to get her something she really wanted.