Wedding Etiquette Forum

Program Wording

I have a few questions about how to word something on our program.

First of all, I'm listing both mine and my fiancé's parent's on our programs.  My father passed away 13 years ago.  Do I list him as "Father of the Bride?" He still is my father, even though he's no longer with us.  I'm not sure.

Also, we'd like to have a casual breakfast the morning after the wedding at a nearby diner.  However, we are not planning on paying for everyone's breakfast.  What's the best way to word this?  I'm intending to put this on the bottom of the program and not in a formal invite.

Thanks for your help!

Re: Program Wording

  • I'd have a separate section of your program where you list deceased relatives.

    But I would not put anything about the breakfast in your invitations or the program. It's not appropriate to send any kind of paper invitation or announcement about a personal event like this breakfast while expecting anyone who accepts to pay their own way. Let it be known by word of mouth that you and your FI will be having breakfast at the diner the following morning and whoever wishes to join you is welcome. If anyone indicates at that time that they are interested in coming, let them know that you will not be paying for them.
  • I have a few questions about how to word something on our program.

    First of all, I'm listing both mine and my fiancé's parent's on our programs.  My father passed away 13 years ago.  Do I list him as "Father of the Bride?" He still is my father, even though he's no longer with us.  I'm not sure.

    Also, we'd like to have a casual breakfast the morning after the wedding at a nearby diner.  However, we are not planning on paying for everyone's breakfast.  What's the best way to word this?  I'm intending to put this on the bottom of the program and not in a formal invite.

    Thanks for your help!

    Do you have a wedding website?  If you have a weekend itinerary for your guests, which is often done when a couple has many OOT guests, I see no reason why you could not include something there about your casual breakfast.

    "Bride and Groom will be having breakfast at Local Diner at 10:00 AM."
  • It would be a little grim to read your father's name as "father of the bride" as if he were attending the wedding. My father also passed away and in my program I have just a "mother of the bride" listing and a "father of the groom" listing (FI's mother passed away), and then in a separate section of the program, a small memorial blurb honoring our loved ones who have passed away.

    Regarding breakfast, I definitely wouldn't put info about it on the program. Are you making hotel welcome bags for the guests? I might try to get something with the diner's name on it like a business card or something and leave it with their welcome bag to just let your guests know that you'll be there in the morning for breakfast.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • Thanks for the advice!  We do have a website, as well as a welcome bag for guests checking into their hotels.  I already plan on putting the breakfast blurb in both of those.  I was just  putting the information in the program in case people didn't look at the other two. 

    We also have a note about deceased relatives on the back of the program, so I guess that is enough.

    Thanks for your help.

  • Thanks for the advice!  We do have a website, as well as a welcome bag for guests checking into their hotels.  I already plan on putting the breakfast blurb in both of those.  I was just  putting the information in the program in case people didn't look at the other two. 

    We also have a note about deceased relatives on the back of the program, so I guess that is enough.

    Thanks for your help.

    There is the possibility of one other way to acknowledge not only your father, but anyone unable to attend your ceremony.  In the Catholic church, Prayers of the Faithful are offered.  As a matter of course, there is always one offered for those who are sick or no longer with us.  If you are having a faith based ceremony and it would not be highly atypical, you might be able to offer a prayer for those unable to join you.

    For a wedding ceremony, these brief prayers are offered, in addition to a few others:
    For (the bride and groom), for all married couples, for their faithfulness to each other, and for their loving service to the church, we pray.

    For the parents and families of (bride and groom), for their godparents, and for all who formed them in faith, we pray.

    For the deceased relatives of (bride and groom), for those who may be ill, and for all those unable to join us here today, we pray.
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