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This hot mess

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Re: This hot mess

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    ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    artbyallie I didn't say I was doing a speech, just signs and program line.. Also my mother who is a fantastic wedding photographer is the one who encouraged me to do this since she has had this happen to her. While she has been able to get great make up shots, I have personally seen photos that would have been even better than the ones the couple got, if it were not for a person blocking her way, a flash at the wrong moment..

    I stand by my decision, and I am not being rude about it, just making sure people know I don't want them taking pictures. I Hired someone to do that, and if they want a specific shot I am sure I will get it on the disk of all the pictures the photographer is giving us, and will be able to print it for them. Since I get cheap prints with my mother being a photographer and all...


    Also cell phone flashes are far from "Itty Bitty' especially when the photographer themselves can not use a flash in the church.. So for more than just messing up the shots we paid for, it is also unacceptable in a church to use flash photography as i said it distracts from the ceremony going on, and I personally agree with the church on that point..... personally every cell phone flash I know is harsh and fills a room with light so at the exact moment that a camera is taking a picture, after it has already adjusted for light in the room, can and will drastically change your photo lighting.. 
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    We all have opinions..
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    It is only the ceremony, and the major difference is your photographer can be anywhere and use the lighting that they need if any.. I wouldn't have done it if it had not been a church wedding with so many restrictions on the photographer.. Also, the church has asked us to make sure the people who do not regularly attend know that this is a holy ceremony, and nothing should distract from the sacrament. so this is my way of doing that as well. Also your signature is an after the ceremony shot, I am making the ceremony unplugged not the entire wedding...
     
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    It is only the ceremony, and the major difference is your photographer can be anywhere and use the lighting that they need if any.. I wouldn't have done it if it had not been a church wedding with so many restrictions on the photographer.. Also, the church has asked us to make sure the people who do not regularly attend know that this is a holy ceremony, and nothing should distract from the sacrament. so this is my way of doing that as well. Also your signature is an after the ceremony shot, I am making the ceremony unplugged not the entire wedding...
     
    Based on your "rule" though, most people would think it's not OK to take a picture in the church period.  

    Sorry, but you're not going to get a lot of support here for an unplugged wedding "rule".
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    Not looking for support everyone has opinions, and reasons. like I said if this is the one place I am being "rude" in some peoples eyes no skin off my back..
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    Not looking for support everyone has opinions, and reasons. like I said if this is the one place I am being "rude" in some peoples eyes no skin off my back..
    You are being rude and it's not to some people it's going to be to most people. Problem is most people wont tell you that what you're doing is rude but I'm sure they'll think it and probably say it when you aren't around. 

    Julieanne's picture is when they are recessing to me that is still part of the ceremony and I'd assume I couldn't have my phone out yet...

    It's great that you're properly hosting your guests but that doesn't make it ok to be rude in other ways. 
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    I think we have established on other boards about other subjects, damned if you do damned if you don't.. if it isn't the phones, it is the decor, or the songs played, the traditions used or not used. everyone has their opinions about everything. This is no different..
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    artbyallie I didn't say I was doing a speech, just signs and program line.. Also my mother who is a fantastic wedding photographer is the one who encouraged me to do this since she has had this happen to her. While she has been able to get great make up shots, I have personally seen photos that would have been even better than the ones the couple got, if it were not for a person blocking her way, a flash at the wrong moment..

    I stand by my decision, and I am not being rude about it, just making sure people know I don't want them taking pictures. I Hired someone to do that, and if they want a specific shot I am sure I will get it on the disk of all the pictures the photographer is giving us, and will be able to print it for them. Since I get cheap prints with my mother being a photographer and all...


    Also cell phone flashes are far from "Itty Bitty' especially when the photographer themselves can not use a flash in the church.. So for more than just messing up the shots we paid for, it is also unacceptable in a church to use flash photography as i said it distracts from the ceremony going on, and I personally agree with the church on that point..... personally every cell phone flash I know is harsh and fills a room with light so at the exact moment that a camera is taking a picture, after it has already adjusted for light in the room, can and will drastically change your photo lighting.. 
    Oh Christ, her mother is Corey Anne!

    http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    artbyallie I didn't say I was doing a speech, just signs and program line.. Also my mother who is a fantastic wedding photographer is the one who encouraged me to do this since she has had this happen to her. While she has been able to get great make up shots, I have personally seen photos that would have been even better than the ones the couple got, if it were not for a person blocking her way, a flash at the wrong moment..

    I stand by my decision, and I am not being rude about it, just making sure people know I don't want them taking pictures. I Hired someone to do that, and if they want a specific shot I am sure I will get it on the disk of all the pictures the photographer is giving us, and will be able to print it for them. Since I get cheap prints with my mother being a photographer and all...


    Also cell phone flashes are far from "Itty Bitty' especially when the photographer themselves can not use a flash in the church.. So for more than just messing up the shots we paid for, it is also unacceptable in a church to use flash photography as i said it distracts from the ceremony going on, and I personally agree with the church on that point..... personally every cell phone flash I know is harsh and fills a room with light so at the exact moment that a camera is taking a picture, after it has already adjusted for light in the room, can and will drastically change your photo lighting.. 
    Oh Christ, her mother is Corey Anne!

    http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding
    This is so strange... I haven't been to tons of weddings but I don't think I've ever experienced people jumping into the aisle during the middle of a ceremony to take a pic with their iphone.  Maybe I just know polite well mannered people.  
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    hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2015




    artbyallie I didn't say I was doing a speech, just signs and program line.. Also my mother who is a fantastic wedding photographer is the one who encouraged me to do this since she has had this happen to her. While she has been able to get great make up shots, I have personally seen photos that would have been even better than the ones the couple got, if it were not for a person blocking her way, a flash at the wrong moment..

    I stand by my decision, and I am not being rude about it, just making sure people know I don't want them taking pictures. I Hired someone to do that, and if they want a specific shot I am sure I will get it on the disk of all the pictures the photographer is giving us, and will be able to print it for them. Since I get cheap prints with my mother being a photographer and all...


    Also cell phone flashes are far from "Itty Bitty' especially when the photographer themselves can not use a flash in the church.. So for more than just messing up the shots we paid for, it is also unacceptable in a church to use flash photography as i said it distracts from the ceremony going on, and I personally agree with the church on that point..... personally every cell phone flash I know is harsh and fills a room with light so at the exact moment that a camera is taking a picture, after it has already adjusted for light in the room, can and will drastically change your photo lighting.. 

    Oh Christ, her mother is Corey Anne!

    http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

    ________


    How very professional that she called out wedding guests with pictures of them and everything.

    And when I say very professional I mean not at all.


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    I think we have established on other boards about other subjects, damned if you do damned if you don't.. if it isn't the phones, it is the decor, or the songs played, the traditions used or not used. everyone has their opinions about everything. This is no different..




    See this picture? Sorry it's blurry and there's a glare. My mother in law took this picture of my mom while I was walking down the aisle and the photographer was focused on me. She looks so happy. She's glowing - you would think this was her wedding. This is probably my favorite picture ever. My mother in law gave me this at my mom's funeral seven weeks after my wedding. I wouldn't have this picture had I been controlling and demanded an "unplugged" wedding. I wouldn't have this beautiful memory of one of the last times I saw my mom happy. I've seen more than one poster here devastated that somehow their photographer lost all their pictures and all they have is pictures from their guests. I know that's an extreme example, but my point is that you never know what could happen. You never know what the photographer might miss. Sorry that my iPad eats paragraphs.

    That's a really beautiful photo, @ShesSoCold.
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    My very favorite photo of my wedding ceremony was taken by a guest. "Unplugged" is silly & rude and the concerns about cell phone photography are not valid ones. Cutesy signs don't make the directives or orders any less obnoxious.
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    I think we have established on other boards about other subjects, damned if you do damned if you don't.. if it isn't the phones, it is the decor, or the songs played, the traditions used or not used. everyone has their opinions about everything. This is no different..

    See this picture? Sorry it's blurry and there's a glare. My mother in law took this picture of my mom while I was walking down the aisle and the photographer was focused on me. She looks so happy. She's glowing - you would think this was her wedding. This is probably my favorite picture ever. My mother in law gave me this at my mom's funeral seven weeks after my wedding. I wouldn't have this picture had I been controlling and demanded an "unplugged" wedding. I wouldn't have this beautiful memory of one of the last times I saw my mom happy. I've seen more than one poster here devastated that somehow their photographer lost all their pictures and all they have is pictures from their guests. I know that's an extreme example, but my point is that you never know what could happen. You never know what the photographer might miss. Sorry that my iPad eats paragraphs.
    That's a really beautiful photo, @ShesSoCold.
    I am sorry for your loss, and glad you have that picture. I lost my father when I was young and also get that having a picture is wonderful to remember someone by. 

    I also know that for the people behind the camera there is a disconnection between them and the event taking place... the ceremony is 30 minutes of the day.. if it is rude to ask people to put their phones away, and enjoy the moment with us, then so be it.. 

    I am not concerned about the photo opportunities that will be missed during the ceremony, it is more important that I can look around and see people not phones, there will be plenty of opportunities for these type of shots when the reception is happening, and the pre-wedding activities when we are all joking drinking and having fun.

    While all these pictures are lovely, it isn't going to change my decision, nor do I need your support. and if all it does is make people turn off the flash and "hide" it better than I accomplished my goal, and made sure the rules of the church were followed.. 
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    wow there were a lot of assumptions there..

    #1 your opinion against mine.. so yeah.. and as I have said, there are rules to the ceremony space and was asked to make it known to the guests.... and since I have never said I am TELLING but ASKING people assuming that I am just demanding and going to stomp my foot if no one listens is a large assumption..

    #2 SO I cant take a second and look at all the guests? but I am not supposed to be all ME ME ME ME pretty condescending..

    #3 I believe I was responding to someone about a shot that they had of their mother. and yes she will be with me all day..

    #4 WOW a bridezilla because I am trying to follow the rules of the church? again a large assumption, that I will pout and throw a tantrum if a phone is out.. I believe I agreed that the original post was way to far, and will simply be asking not demanding..

    if one sign, or line in a program, that lets be honest most won't see or pay attention to is IN YOUR OPINION rude, then fine, give me a hard eyeroll.. I will be rolling my eyes right back that you let a sign offend you so..
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    wow there were a lot of assumptions there..

    #1 your opinion against mine.. so yeah.. and as I have said, there are rules to the ceremony space and was asked to make it known to the guests.... and since I have never said I am TELLING but ASKING people assuming that I am just demanding and going to stomp my foot if no one listens is a large assumption..

    #2 SO I cant take a second and look at all the guests? but I am not supposed to be all ME ME ME ME pretty condescending..

    #3 I believe I was responding to someone about a shot that they had of their mother. and yes she will be with me all day..

    #4 WOW a bridezilla because I am trying to follow the rules of the church? again a large assumption, that I will pout and throw a tantrum if a phone is out.. I believe I agreed that the original post was way to far, and will simply be asking not demanding..

    if one sign, or line in a program, that lets be honest most won't see or pay attention to is IN YOUR OPINION rude, then fine, give me a hard eyeroll.. I will be rolling my eyes right back that you let a sign offend you so..
    I'm only chiming in on #2... Take it from me and the old married hags here. You may think you're going to look around at everyone, but you'll only have eyes for the person you are marrying. I never saw anyone taking pictures (and many did)... I never saw my friends and family all weepy, though they tell me they were... I never saw people coming in late, though apparently that happened. Everything's a blur but listening to the readings and saying vows. I bet a fire alarm could have gone off and I wouldn't have noticed. 

    Don't worry about what could potentially distract you from the ceremony, because I bet my bottom dollar nothing will. 
    So much this.  My wedding was literally 6 days ago and I can't remember shit from the ceremony, other than the cute kid yelling "yayyyy!" when I started my walk down the aisle, and looking at my H and listening to the officiant and reader and saying our vows, and our kiss.  Everything else... no recollection.  I don't even remember the picture in my signature even being taken afterwards (which is why I love it so much).  Every single guest could have had their phone out and I wouldn't have even noticed.  
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    Thank you, and I hope that nothing distracts, but knowing myself I am very observant of my surroundings and will be looking around it is my nature, and this is only one reason of the many that I have stated.

    I am fine with my decision, and if a few people think it is rude how I am going about it, I really truly honestly don't care, you will never ever please everyone I would be a crazy stressed bride if I thought I could make everyone 100% happy with everything.  If I were to attend a wedding knowing how I am going to ask I wouldn't see a problem with it or as the bride being a "bridezilla". I am asking the guests to enjoy the moment with us, and if the only way someone can enjoy the moment with their phones than that is a bigger issue.. 
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    wow there were a lot of assumptions there..

    #1 your opinion against mine.. so yeah.. and as I have said, there are rules to the ceremony space and was asked to make it known to the guests.... and since I have never said I am TELLING but ASKING people assuming that I am just demanding and going to stomp my foot if no one listens is a large assumption..

    #2 SO I cant take a second and look at all the guests? but I am not supposed to be all ME ME ME ME pretty condescending..

    #3 I believe I was responding to someone about a shot that they had of their mother. and yes she will be with me all day..

    #4 WOW a bridezilla because I am trying to follow the rules of the church? again a large assumption, that I will pout and throw a tantrum if a phone is out.. I believe I agreed that the original post was way to far, and will simply be asking not demanding..

    if one sign, or line in a program, that lets be honest most won't see or pay attention to is IN YOUR OPINION rude, then fine, give me a hard eyeroll.. I will be rolling my eyes right back that you let a sign offend you so..
    I think you're missing my point.

    If your venue has a photography rule then say the photography rule.  But don't make them YOUR rules.   See the difference?   One is creating something for your sole benefit and the other is adhering to the stipulations?

    Similarly, you can't tell your guest that they have to wear specific attire because it's important to YOU.   But you CAN tell them that your venue requires specific attire per THEIR regulations and restrictions.   Do you see the difference?   So if the ceremony venue states that flash photography isn't allowed then go ahead and say it.   But if you say that no photography is allowed and there's a photographer there, your guests have a right to question it.

    You also missed the point about looking around and seeing people and not phones.   You don't have a leg to stand on if you're requesting guests not to take photos so they can stay in the moment of your vow exchange if you then look around in the middle of said vow exchange.   I didn't look at my guests until they were in the communion line because by that point, I was married.   Until that time, I had no eyes for anyone other than DH and our priest.   
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    Thank you, and I hope that nothing distracts, but knowing myself I am very observant of my surroundings and will be looking around it is my nature, and this is only one reason of the many that I have stated.

    I am fine with my decision, and if a few people think it is rude how I am going about it, I really truly honestly don't care, you will never ever please everyone I would be a crazy stressed bride if I thought I could make everyone 100% happy with everything.  If I were to attend a wedding knowing how I am going to ask I wouldn't see a problem with it or as the bride being a "bridezilla". I am asking the guests to enjoy the moment with us, and if the only way someone can enjoy the moment with their phones than that is a bigger issue.. 
    It's actually pretty easy to please your guests:

    1. Don't be inconsiderate or waste their time. 
    2. Don't attempt to micromanage their attire, their actions, etc.
    3. Give them a place to sit.
    4. Feed them.
    5. Entertain them.

    A wedding is a ceremony followed by a glorified party, so you follow the same social and etiquette rules of hosting any party.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    banana468 first off I am stating the rule, and I never said exactly what I was saying to guests, so you don't know how or what I am actually saying to them, your again assuming I am going to be rude about it. I was asked to let them know, I am letting them know.

    I think you have only read what offends you and you think is rude, and missed my point I have stated:

    If I was not in this church with the restrictions I wouldn't be doing it.

    I agree with all the speeches and making it your rule simply because you want it that way is rude.

    I didn't miss the point in looking around, I am a different person than you, I am sure this is the general consensus, but there are exceptions to every rule, and I am sure there are others that took a moment to look around.. just because it is your experience doesn't mean it will be mine..

    PrettyGirlLost so, one request and I am controlling bridezilla, it is easy to offend these days! I am focused on getting married, and this is something that you all have blown WAY out of portion.. this is only one tiny aspect of the wedding and frankly had not thought about in the last 5 months other than typing it on to the programs I printed..

    every church has different rules that they stress even though they all have the same set. a friend got married in a catholic church and was allowed to have a secular song for the exit, while I am not able to. it is all depending upon the church, this church has signs already, and I added a line in my program to remind them. it is 30 minutes of the 5 hour wedding I think they will survive..

    and your comparing my actual opinion, to people that wont accept scientific studies, because etiquette is not a science, it is all based on a general consensus of opinions.. Science is backed by studies and data.. if you can throw data at me like 100% of all my guests will be totally put out that I made them put away their phones for 30 minutes then fine I will sharpie marker the shit out of some programs tonight... but no you can't, and I know my family and my FI knows his, we both know this will not be a problem.
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    Ryan, Fabulous wedding photographers don't need to an unplugged wedding to do a great job. They are professional who know how to work in the environment. I have never had a shot ruined shooting events surrounded by other photogs with high powered strobes, let alone dinky little phone flashes. True professionals dont make excuses and blame guests for crappy images. Me thinks your opinion of your mommy's work is a tad bit biased. But, what would I know being a photog myself. :unamused:
    so we are going back to this? I also said my mother could work around others as well, but have seen shots that were ruined when lighting adjustments can't be made or are messed up..(and I think I have discussed the restrictions of my one situation has) and she would never complain like the unprofessional ones others have posted, but your assuming that my mother is biased, when we are not using her as a photographer, nor will be making any sort of $ off my wedding or guests.. She gave me her daughter her opinion, with the experience she has I took it, end of story. it has and will not be a problem except here on this forum..
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    edited September 2015




    Ryan, Fabulous wedding photographers don't need to an unplugged wedding to do a great job. They are professional who know how to work in the environment. I have never had a shot ruined shooting events surrounded by other photogs with high powered strobes, let alone dinky little phone flashes. True professionals dont make excuses and blame guests for crappy images.

    Me thinks your opinion of your mommy's work is a tad bit biased. But, what would I know being a photog myself. :unamused:



    so we are going back to this? I also said my mother could work around others as well, but have seen shots that were ruined when lighting adjustments can't be made or are messed up..(and I think I have discussed the restrictions of my one situation has) and she would never complain like the unprofessional ones others have posted, but your assuming that my mother is biased, when we are not using her as a photographer, nor will be making any sort of $ off my wedding or guests.. She gave me her daughter her opinion, with the experience she has I took it, end of story. it has and will not be a problem except here on this forum..



    **eta box *****

    Nope, your opinion of her being a fabulous wedding photographer is the opinion I am calling biased. Fabulous professionals don't need to perpetuate this rude practice. But whatever, I'm sure your guests won't mind being told how to act like adults.

    Pro tip...if you had just said, or church doesn't allow flash photography and the priest insists on making an announcement to the guests as the beginning of the ceremony - you would have revived fat different responses. Instead you bragged about your mom having this expert opinion and referred to "sanctity of marriage crap" which was super offensive.

    But I'm sure you'll do better in not being offensive to your guests bc your photos are very, very important. :unamused:
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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