This hot mess

arrippa

ryanandjoe4 said:

Heffalump said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

spockforprez said:

I think there's too much being made of the word "request" here, like, Oh, I'm just asking them, not forcing them. Whether they're being forced or not (as in the original post where crazybride was going to have her brother stop the ceremony if photos were being taken), making requests for certain things is rude. 

For example, requesting your guests to wear a certain color is RUDE. Yes, it's just a "request" - you're asking them, not forcing them - but it's still rude. 

Long story short, don't boss your guests around. If your church wants to boss them around, fine, but it's rude to invite and host people but give them a list of pointless rules made up for the purposes of aligning with your vision.

Exactly!

It comes off as laughable and self absorbed because "requests" like unplugged ceremonies are not enforceable, and it makes it seem like the bride and groom expect everyone to treat them as the absolute center of attention 100% of the time. . . because typically the unplugged requests are accompanied by phrases such as "fully present" and "in the moment."

I was about to post the same thing.  How self-involved are you if you think it's cool to "request" that your guests put away any distractions so they can focus on you-you-you, nothing but you, for the duration of your ceremony? 

The photographer thing always makes me roll my eyes, too.  I've posted this before, but one of my best friends is a photographer:  she's done weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, lots of events.  She's had all kinds of minor mishaps she's had to work around (in one memorable instance, she had to photoshop eyes onto a boy from another shot, because his glasses picked up a flash).  And you know what?  She does it, because it's her job.  She charges enough to cover her time retouching the photos.  She knows how and where to shoot to minimize any interference.  She takes tons of photos so even if a handful are "ruined," she still has lots of great ones.  You know what she doesn't do?  Encourage the bride and groom to make stupid little speeches trying to enforce certain behaviors on their guests.   

Your arguing points that I have already stated, that I am not asking the church is asking them to not use photography, there are strict rules in the ceremony space...

Also, I have said that the advise my mother gave me was as a mother, not something she says to anyone, and in helping her edit, I have seen photos that were ruined, but is always able to make up for it.

you all are wanting to make this like I am some bridezilla, demanding my day be all about me, when I have said over and over again, that it is a request coming from the church, and if the ceremony was in a different place, that didn't request it, then I would have not said anything.

you don't know how the request is worded, you all have assumed that I am using some cute poem, assumed that I am going to make a big deal out of it..

but please lets keep these same arguments going and going, because your all perfect, and have never had to enforce rules that are not yours. So please lets bring up how rude I am being by reminding guests of the CHURCHES RULES... that my mother gave me advice because the church asked me to, and when I talked to her about it she gave me her opinion, why she liked the idea.

I believe I also said "if all I do is make them hide it better, I achieved my goal"  SO please get over it, move on..