Moms and Maids

Should I ask her to be MOH?

AJC430AJC430 member
10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited September 2015 in Moms and Maids
So, I have 5 bridesmaids:

1 is pregnant - due in October
1 was considering moving to NY in Dec (I don't think she is currently)
1 already lives in NY
1 lives in FL
1 (my sister) is underage and in college.


I want to ask the first lady to be my MOH but I don't want to overwhelm her as a new mom.

Thoughts?? Do I have to have a MOH?

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Re: Should I ask her to be MOH?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You don't have to have a MOH.

    The only way she would feel overwhelmed is if you put pressure on her to do more then what she is required, which is to show up on at your wedding in the chosen attire and ready to smile for pictures.

    PrettyGirlLostmollybarker11[Deleted User]lc07
  • You don't have to have an MOH.
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  • You don't have to have a MOH, but if you want her to be your MOH, I don't see anything wrong with asking her.

    I would just have an open conversation with her, and be understanding if she can't commit to that.

    Also, is your wedding kid friendly where she could bring her new son/daughter? That might help her say yes.

    AJC430PrettyGirlLost
  • @pupatella - our ceremony will allow children (we will likely have a babysitter at the church), but the reception will not likely have children. Thanks for the advice.

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  • @artbyallie understood! Thanks! 

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    artbyallie
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    If you want someone to be the MOH, you ask her. There should be nothing going on in her life that needs to be factored in because the role requires no more than any other bridesmaid.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    mollybarker11[Deleted User]
  • As others have said, you don't need a MOH. But my question to you would be is the reason you're not choosing the others because of the things you've listed in your post? Because if so, you're going about this all wrong.
    mollybarker11
  • Yeah those last two comments sum it up for me.

    If your pregnant friend has already agreed to be a bridesmaid, she will not be "overwhelmed" by the additional responsibility (of, what, holding your bouquet during the ceremony?) just because she has an infant. It's fine.

    If your favourite of the group is one of the others, you should ask her. Living near you and drinking are not remotely related to being a MOH.


    But to answer your last question: No, you do not need to have a MOH.

    [Deleted User]
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2015
    I'm going to give some information that might help you choose:


    The following are the requirements of the MOH:

    Show up to the wedding, on time, in the agree upon attire (of which you asked her budget for, individually, before picking). She might hold your bouquet or fix your train and/or sign your marriage license during the ceremony. It would also be nice if she could smile for pictures.


    The following are NOT requirements of the MOH (or anyone in the bridal party):

    Hosting or attending showers
    Hosting or attending bach-parties
    Attending bridesmaid lunches/events
    Attending group dress outings
    Giving a speech at the wedding
    Helping with wedding planning
    Helping with DIY projects
    Helping setup/tear down at the wedding
    Showing up before the wedding (it's nice if she can make the rehearsal but she'll probably be fine if she can't).


    Just putting that there in case any of that is influencing your decision. This is why there's no issue with someone who lives far away or who is underage, being the MOH.
    Pretty much everything on that list is optional and any bridal party members, friends, family, etc can do it or not do it.


    Also, with kids, as PPs have said, you can't invite kids to the ceremony and not the reception. You can totally not invite kids at all and that's fine. But you can also make exceptions. If you just invite children of the wedding party to ceremony & reception that could be fine too. So you can definitely invite your friend's baby and still not need to invite a bunch of other kids.
    [Deleted User]
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