Pro's & con's of Labor Day weekend?

Jen4948

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

chloe97 said:

Every time this question comes up, people rail on long weekend weddings. I, personally, don't get it. I like long weekend weddings because if they are out of town, I don't have to take day off to attend. Sure, if you were my coworker or someone I wasn't close to, I may skip it to go out of town, but I would probably skip your wedding anyway. I think that it's more considerate if most of your guests are OOT to have a long weekend wedding, particularly if it's on a Sunday!

You may like long weekend weddings, but many people prefer to make their own plans for long weekends, and finding out that they're invited to a wedding with potential hurt feelings if they go through with their normal plans instead makes them feel hurt and resentful that someone else seems to be calling the shots regarding scheduling. 

Also, if they were looking forward to a getaway or a staycation over a 3 day weekend to relax and de-stress, now they can't do that if they feel that they have to attend a wedding, especially if one or both principals are close friends or family members, because it will damage relationships if they don't.

Yes, they technically have the right not to go, but if not going is likely to damage relationships, exercising that right might be more trouble than they feel it's worth.

This is seriously a big stretch.   Summer is wedding season and there's always going to be a conflict.   I think the OP needs to clear the date with their VIPs and note if there's a family history of events at that time.    If not, I think it's borderline silly to say that they can damage relationships by planning a wedding on Labor Day weekend.   There are just as many people who like long weekend weddings because it allows them the cushion to travel without extra vacation time.

The bottom line is that you can rarely please all the guests.   So if you check with those you know you want/need there, you may need to leave the rest to the guests to figure it out.    

I can tell you that in an era of destination weddings that require flights, I would sure as heck prefer a long weekend wedding vs. one that required me to take extra days off from work.   To each his/her own. 

@banana468, I was not speaking for "everybody" or even proposing to speak for "everybody."  You stretched my words by suggesting that "everybody" is in danger of damaging relationships who doesn't like to go to weddings over 3-day holiday weekends, which was not what I was suggesting in my post.

What I was suggesting is that for those who don't like it but do go, it often may be because nobody wants to endanger a close relationship by not going.  But they still don't like attending a wedding at that time rather than doing whatever they would rather do.  Nobody is required to like going to weddings, let alone over 3-day holiday weekends.  Like you said, to each their own.

banana468

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

chloe97 said:

Every time this question comes up, people rail on long weekend weddings. I, personally, don't get it. I like long weekend weddings because if they are out of town, I don't have to take day off to attend. Sure, if you were my coworker or someone I wasn't close to, I may skip it to go out of town, but I would probably skip your wedding anyway. I think that it's more considerate if most of your guests are OOT to have a long weekend wedding, particularly if it's on a Sunday!

You may like long weekend weddings, but many people prefer to make their own plans for long weekends, and finding out that they're invited to a wedding with potential hurt feelings if they go through with their normal plans instead makes them feel hurt and resentful that someone else seems to be calling the shots regarding scheduling. 

Also, if they were looking forward to a getaway or a staycation over a 3 day weekend to relax and de-stress, now they can't do that if they feel that they have to attend a wedding, especially if one or both principals are close friends or family members, because it will damage relationships if they don't.

Yes, they technically have the right not to go, but if not going is likely to damage relationships, exercising that right might be more trouble than they feel it's worth.

This is seriously a big stretch.   Summer is wedding season and there's always going to be a conflict.   I think the OP needs to clear the date with their VIPs and note if there's a family history of events at that time.    If not, I think it's borderline silly to say that they can damage relationships by planning a wedding on Labor Day weekend.   There are just as many people who like long weekend weddings because it allows them the cushion to travel without extra vacation time.

The bottom line is that you can rarely please all the guests.   So if you check with those you know you want/need there, you may need to leave the rest to the guests to figure it out.    

I can tell you that in an era of destination weddings that require flights, I would sure as heck prefer a long weekend wedding vs. one that required me to take extra days off from work.   To each his/her own. 

@banana468, I was not speaking for "everybody" or even proposing to speak for "everybody."  You stretched my words by suggesting that "everybody" is in danger of damaging relationships who doesn't like to go to weddings over 3-day holiday weekends, which was not what I was suggesting in my post.

What I was suggesting is that for those who don't like it but do go, it often may be because nobody wants to endanger a close relationship by not going.  But they still don't like attending a wedding at that time rather than doing whatever they would rather do.  Nobody is required to like going to weddings, let alone over 3-day holiday weekends.  Like you said, to each their own.

OK thanks for clarifying.

Like I said, I think there are so many ways that a wedding can be inconvenient that a long weekend one is hardly hitting my list of problems.   But that's just me.    

I think this is definitely one of those situations that can be family / friend dependent.   

PrettyGirlLost

banana468 said:

I think you're going to find opinions on both sides of the coin.   Some really think it's bad to have a holiday weekend and some don't care.

There's a good chance you're going to be seeing declines in some capacity.   Clear the date with your VIPs and BP and then let the chips fall.  

This.

Many of my friends and family take trips and host cook outs, reunions, etc. on Labor Day weekend.  They would not be fans of a wedding that weekend.

delujm0

I would run it by your VIPs before deciding anything.

 

Since you're doing a Sunday brunch, it wouldn't be difficult for people from out of town to still leave on Sunday evening if they needed to.  When we planned our wedding, our venue was open on Memorial Day weekend Saturday and the following Saturday.  90% of our guest list was from out of town.  We went with the following Saturday.  Though the extra day off is nice, there were two major issues: 1) lots of people have standing memorial day plans and wouldn't come to the wedding because of them and 2) travel is often more expensive on holiday weekends, especially if people have to fly.  and if your location is anything even resembling a resort town, hotels would likely also be more expensive.

DH's cousin got married on Labor Day weekend this year, and DH was kind of annoyed at how expensive the flight was in comparison to the weekends before and after.  His parents paid for the hotel, but that was also inflated for the holiday weekend.  Fortunately we only had to buy one flight because I stayed home with our newborn.  My sister came down to help me with the baby while DH was away, and she had to book a weird trip (like Thursday - Tuesday) to get a decent price on her flight as well.  People who want to come to your wedding likely already budgeted in a day of PTO if they'd need it, they were expecting to take that trip.  They were likely NOT expecting it to interfere with their holiday weekend.

marie2785

Do you have any kids coming, or many guests who have kids? Our wedding was the weekend before labor day this year, and we got told by a number of our friends that late August through Labor Day would be impossible because of their kid's schedule. For older kids, it was because college starts around that time and parents had to move their kids to school. For younger kids, school started either the week before labor day or right after, and the parents didn't want the kids travelling then, or the parents couldn't leave their kids home while they traveled. We didn't have any other options for dates that worked for our VIPs, so we kept the late August date we originally selected and accepted that some of our friends couldn't make it. 

So I agree with other posters-- check with your VIPs before scheduling anything. If they have kids and would need to travel, the date might really not work.  

marriedwithpoodles

We were invited to a Labor Day weekend wedding this year, and only attended because we were travelling anyway and it was literally right on the way to our destination. Otherwise, we wouldn't have spent our last summer holiday going to a wedding. Also, the first college football games of the year are usually Labor Day weekend. That might not matter with your circle of friends, but I do know that several people declined attending this wedding and opted for going to the game instead. 

charlotte989875

Please check with your VPs (and listen to them if they say it's bad timing). I was in a Sunday evening Labor Day wedding this year, H and I lived over 13 hour drive from the location and had to be at work Tuesday. Traffic sucked the day after as we were driving on a holiday.

Like PPs have said its a know your crowd thing. There were a lot of people that had to travel for this wedding, it was Sunday night so you had to leave Monday which means everyone who travelled had to do so on a more expensive day. Super frustrating and the only reason we did it was because it was a close friend.

I like that you're doing brunch and the morning as it gives people more travel options. H and I actually got married in Friday on Memorial Day and had very few declines. It worked really well for our crowd. So I guess my advice is if that day actually works for your VIPs, it still gives people travel options by being early, and if you know not too many people are traveling then sounds great.

kvruns

Our was May 29 this year, and a lot of people thought it was Memorial Day weekend and were concerned that it would conflict with their long weekend plans. Memorial day was early this year and not the last weekend of the month so I assured people we weren't stealing their long weekend and I got a number of relieved responses. If it is a local wedding I wouldn't care too much but if I had to travel and it was going to be expensvie bc of the holiday or not somewhere I really want to go I might decline.

SP29

Having a wedding on a long weekend isn't against etiquette, so you're safe there. It's more of a know your crowd thing. Check with your VIPs- if the date works for them, go for it. Beyond that, it's a matter of personal opinion. 

My friend got married on Sunday of August long weekend this year (it was an evening reception too). It was a smaller wedding, so most people were "VIPs". They had 100% acceptance for the invites. 90% of the guest list was local. 

The only con is that if you have a lot of OOT guests, travel and lodgings are likely more expensive. 

alhaley88

FI and I are having our wedding on Sunday of Labor day weekend - this was an easy decision for us because a)most of our family DO have holiday weekends off, b)90% of our family live out of state/city and c)its a lot more affordable to do a Sunday wedding. We have not received ANY backlash from our friends and family for choosing to do it over a holiday weekend. That being said, we are not going to be pouty(sp?) and unhappy if some decline because of the travel expenses, no time off work, etc. That is the consequence we came to terms with and we are completely understanding of it.

I say go for it if you want to do it over labor day weekend. 

Knottie1438022901

Thanks everybody for your great responses!  You've given us a lot to think about before making our final decision.