4 days till I do... and to do list never ending

futurecptkirk

We are now 4 days out from our wedding and I feel like I don't have time to get everything done. We are having our rehearsal dinner at our house and got the house deep cleaned and finished our backyard thankfully, but that took up so much time we haven't even gotten the most important things done. *cough cough* marriage license *cough cough* We are supposed to go get it on Thursday morning before he goes to work, but that's just so close that it makes me nervous. 

We still need to buy all of the booze/NA drinks/snacks as well as some lanterns because it's too dark in the backyard. I have to drive an hour away today to go get my guestbook because it saved me $16 on shipping. 

I feel like every time I cross something off my list, 3 more things get added. I need help. FI is working all day today and then apparently his dad is "making" him go to their house to go see his half brother and sister who drove in from MN. Now FI wants me to go. He was gone from Thursday-Sunday for something with his friend and now his only time off between his return and this coming Friday he is spending seeing family. I know family is important, but they can come over the entire day Friday and hang out. My bff and sister keep saying they can help, but I would feel weird being like "hey can you go run my errands for me?" 

Maybe I'm just losing it because we are 4 days out from a huge event that I've spent 14 months planning. Advice? 

kimmiinthemitten

futurecptkirk said:

We are now 4 days out from our wedding and I feel like I don't have time to get everything done. We are having our rehearsal dinner at our house and got the house deep cleaned and finished our backyard thankfully, but that took up so much time we haven't even gotten the most important things done. *cough cough* marriage license *cough cough* We are supposed to go get it on Thursday morning before he goes to work, but that's just so close that it makes me nervous. 

We still need to buy all of the booze/NA drinks/snacks as well as some lanterns because it's too dark in the backyard. I have to drive an hour away today to go get my guestbook because it saved me $16 on shipping. 

I feel like every time I cross something off my list, 3 more things get added. I need help. FI is working all day today and then apparently his dad is "making" him go to their house to go see his half brother and sister who drove in from MN. Now FI wants me to go. He was gone from Thursday-Sunday for something with his friend and now his only time off between his return and this coming Friday he is spending seeing family. I know family is important, but they can come over the entire day Friday and hang out. My bff and sister keep saying they can help, but I would feel weird being like "hey can you go run my errands for me?" 

Maybe I'm just losing it because we are 4 days out from a huge event that I've spent 14 months planning. Advice? 

If they offer, take them up on it!  I'd also see if there was a way for FI to shorten his visit to just a few hours so he can come back and help.

But at the end of the day/weekend - you'll be married so just remember that when you think you're losing it!

simcal18

futurecptkirk said:

We are now 4 days out from our wedding and I feel like I don't have time to get everything done. We are having our rehearsal dinner at our house and got the house deep cleaned and finished our backyard thankfully, but that took up so much time we haven't even gotten the most important things done. *cough cough* marriage license *cough cough* We are supposed to go get it on Thursday morning before he goes to work, but that's just so close that it makes me nervous. 

We still need to buy all of the booze/NA drinks/snacks as well as some lanterns because it's too dark in the backyard. I have to drive an hour away today to go get my guestbook because it saved me $16 on shipping. 

I feel like every time I cross something off my list, 3 more things get added. I need help. FI is working all day today and then apparently his dad is "making" him go to their house to go see his half brother and sister who drove in from MN. Now FI wants me to go. He was gone from Thursday-Sunday for something with his friend and now his only time off between his return and this coming Friday he is spending seeing family. I know family is important, but they can come over the entire day Friday and hang out. My bff and sister keep saying they can help, but I would feel weird being like "hey can you go run my errands for me?" 

Maybe I'm just losing it because we are 4 days out from a huge event that I've spent 14 months planning. Advice? 

Can you just cruise in on Thursday and get the marriage license?  Where I got married there was a three day waiting period between when you went to apply for it and when you could pick it up, unless you went to court to have the waiting period waived.  I'd triple-check to make sure that the clerk's office will be open and that you'll be in the clear to get your license the same day you go in for it.

emmaaa

futurecptkirk said:

We are now 4 days out from our wedding and I feel like I don't have time to get everything done. We are having our rehearsal dinner at our house and got the house deep cleaned and finished our backyard thankfully, but that took up so much time we haven't even gotten the most important things done. *cough cough* marriage license *cough cough* We are supposed to go get it on Thursday morning before he goes to work, but that's just so close that it makes me nervous. 

We still need to buy all of the booze/NA drinks/snacks as well as some lanterns because it's too dark in the backyard. I have to drive an hour away today to go get my guestbook because it saved me $16 on shipping. 

I feel like every time I cross something off my list, 3 more things get added. I need help. FI is working all day today and then apparently his dad is "making" him go to their house to go see his half brother and sister who drove in from MN. Now FI wants me to go. He was gone from Thursday-Sunday for something with his friend and now his only time off between his return and this coming Friday he is spending seeing family. I know family is important, but they can come over the entire day Friday and hang out. My bff and sister keep saying they can help, but I would feel weird being like "hey can you go run my errands for me?" 

Maybe I'm just losing it because we are 4 days out from a huge event that I've spent 14 months planning. Advice? 

DH and I got our marriage license the same week of our wedding (which was the week of Christmas)and it was an easy process in my state. DH got the alcohol for the wedding the day before while I decorated the venue and made centerpieces and bouquets. It helps if you just breathe and not try to rush because that'll just make it worse.

But yes, if you have people offering to help then take them up on it. 

I had to keep reminding myself that if things weren't done yet then I didn't really need them.

julieanne912

futurecptkirk said:

We are now 4 days out from our wedding and I feel like I don't have time to get everything done. We are having our rehearsal dinner at our house and got the house deep cleaned and finished our backyard thankfully, but that took up so much time we haven't even gotten the most important things done. *cough cough* marriage license *cough cough* We are supposed to go get it on Thursday morning before he goes to work, but that's just so close that it makes me nervous. 

We still need to buy all of the booze/NA drinks/snacks as well as some lanterns because it's too dark in the backyard. I have to drive an hour away today to go get my guestbook because it saved me $16 on shipping. 

I feel like every time I cross something off my list, 3 more things get added. I need help. FI is working all day today and then apparently his dad is "making" him go to their house to go see his half brother and sister who drove in from MN. Now FI wants me to go. He was gone from Thursday-Sunday for something with his friend and now his only time off between his return and this coming Friday he is spending seeing family. I know family is important, but they can come over the entire day Friday and hang out. My bff and sister keep saying they can help, but I would feel weird being like "hey can you go run my errands for me?" 

Maybe I'm just losing it because we are 4 days out from a huge event that I've spent 14 months planning. Advice? 

We didn't get our marriage license until the Thursday before either because of schedules. FI was out of town for a week and a half, got back the Wednesday before, due to work and then his dad's birthday party 6 hours away.  I declined to go to that, and everyone understood.  I was actually glad he was gone because I could just get into "get er done" mode.  My mom arrived the Sunday before the wedding, and demanded that I put her to work.  So while I was at work on Tues/Wed of that week, she tied bows.  So many bows onto favor jars.  I felt bad doing it but she seriously was begging me to give her something to do.  She even ran over to Kmart across the parking lot while I was getting my car washed before picking up my dress (didn't want to put the dress in my dirty car), and bought the silver polish I needed.  Was an easy quick task but it crossed something off the list.

And yes, if you have people willing to help you, give them something to do!  Can someone else go buy the lanterns for you or go pick up your guest book if you give them the money and maybe a little extra for gas?  

 I tasked FI And his best man (who he hadn't seen in 3 years and flew in from Germany the Thursday before) with buying all the booze and NA drinks.  I figured that was a task they could handle without me and still spend some time together, and it saved me a lot of time. They went out to dinner by themselves afterwards so they could hang out.  So maybe he could do that and bring the family along?  

anjemon

I think PP's have some really good suggestions. I'm a list person, so it was all lists for me.

I'd make a list of what NEEDS to happen (ie marriage license) and then smaller needs. Like needing to get your dress pressed or needing to get the booze. Then I'd list things in order of priority. So you know that if you can't stop and buy a bunch of individually wrapped candies, it's not a big deal and you can wait and do that later (and if it never happens it's not a big deal and nobody will probably notice except you).

I'd also take your bff and sister up on their offers. Are there things they can do that are easy and save you a trip? Or maybe just coming over early and helping put things together?

I also second the idea of seeing if your FI can do things like go and pick up the booze/NA drinks/other errands on Friday or tonight while he's off to visit family. He can probably stop at the store on the way or take his family who are probably happy to help out (if they're like my family). 

But most of all, I'd say just breathe. Take a minute and take a breath. I know I was super overwhelmed/stressed the week of my wedding. But it doesn't help to just work yourself (myself) up into a panic. If you can step back and make a plan it might make things feel less stressful.

futurecptkirk

Those are all great suggestions. He's off work now thankfully so we are going to try to go get the license today! He called me when I was on my way back from picking up the guest book. The rest can wait. 

 

I definitely just had a major meltdown and threw a tantrum like a 2 year old. Hangry got the best of me... Oh well. 

But to answer previous question about the waiting period - we did marriage counseling so they waive the waiting period! Worth it. 

julieanne912

futurecptkirk said:

Those are all great suggestions. He's off work now thankfully so we are going to try to go get the license today! He called me when I was on my way back from picking up the guest book. The rest can wait. 

 

I definitely just had a major meltdown and threw a tantrum like a 2 year old. Hangry got the best of me... Oh well. 

But to answer previous question about the waiting period - we did marriage counseling so they waive the waiting period! Worth it. 

Yes, don't forget to eat!  I ate at Panera like 4 times in the week before my wedding... I had a cold so soup was awesome, plus it was the only quick food I could think of that wasn't super unhealthy like McD's or something.  

futurecptkirk

julieanne912 said:

futurecptkirk said:

Those are all great suggestions. He's off work now thankfully so we are going to try to go get the license today! He called me when I was on my way back from picking up the guest book. The rest can wait. 

 

I definitely just had a major meltdown and threw a tantrum like a 2 year old. Hangry got the best of me... Oh well. 

But to answer previous question about the waiting period - we did marriage counseling so they waive the waiting period! Worth it. 

Yes, don't forget to eat!  I ate at Panera like 4 times in the week before my wedding... I had a cold so soup was awesome, plus it was the only quick food I could think of that wasn't super unhealthy like McD's or something.  

I may or may not have had a milkshake and a cheeseburger from in and out last night. And told FI 4 more days until I can audition for My 600 Lb Life