Moms and Maids

Monster InLaw bought my dress

Hello, My fiances mother recently showed me the dress she was wearing to our August wedding. It a carbon copy of my dress but in black. Needless to say I'm devastated. I spoke up and told her how uncomfortable I am. She was receptive but now shes wearing it to her other sons wedding in April. Should I still be upset or let it go?
KnotRiley
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Re: Monster InLaw bought my dress

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Let it go.  What she wears really isn't up to you.  She's a grown woman.  And it isn't white.

    InLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • You're right, I feel this is a really poor way for her to start a relationship.
  • edited September 2015
    She did see a picture before, so I'm kicking myself for including her on that. She decided to wear it to her other sons wedding after I told her how uncomfortable I was with her choice. I left it at that and said nothing else. Now her and her daughter are chriping in my fiances ear, when I think I handled the situation with the utmost grace.
    FutureMrsGlaze11313
  • To be fair I never said she couldn't wear it to either. I think I was more stunned by the fact that she bought my same dress. If this was the first incident I ever had with her I would have thought nothing other than it was simply a coincidence.
    FutureMrsGlaze11313
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It's weird, but let it go.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    InLoveInQueensMairePoppydoclagoAbbaZabba1018
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello, My fiances mother recently showed me the dress she was wearing to our August wedding. It a carbon copy of my dress but in black. Needless to say I'm devastated. I spoke up and told her how uncomfortable I am. She was receptive but now shes wearing it to her other sons wedding in April. Should I still be upset or let it go?
    It's literally the same dress but in another color? I agree with Addie, that's very strange. It sounds like she is no longer planning to wear it to your wedding. I'd let it go. You don't get dibs for life on the dress so she can wear it to another party without your permission. As for the chirping in your FI's ear just let it roll off your back. Make sure you and FI are on the same page about things and ignore the drama.
    InLoveInQueens
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    She's not wearing it to your wedding, so just let it go.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • It's strange, and if you and FI were planning on your dress being a surprise, she ruined it.  You can be irritated, but be the bigger person.  Your FI probably thinks it's a weird situation, but can chalk it up to his mother being a little odd...
    KnotetteMesmrEwe
  • Yeah, I'm more bummed he knows the style of the dress, but hopefully by the time August rolls around he will have forgot and will still be equally as surprised. 
    JediElizabethPupatella
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yeah, I'm more bummed he knows the style of the dress, but hopefully by the time August rolls around he will have forgot and will still be equally as surprised. 
    It will look completely different in white and completely different on you.  So even if he does remember the style, the overall look of the dress on you vs his Mom will be 100% different.

  • I seriously doubt that ANYONE who will be attending both weddings will look at you in your white dress on your wedding day and say to themselves (huh that dress looks a lot like the one (FMIL) wore to (FBIL)'s wedding in April!"  No one will remember that, unless she tells people that she's doing it, and if she does that she'll look super odd.

     

    I don't know about your FI, but DH would have absolutely no idea what his mom wore to his own wedding 4 months later never mind someone else's.  I'm fairly certain if I asked him today what color dress his mom wore to his sister's wedding, he would have no idea anymore.  The dress will look totally different in white and on you, and your FI won't even recognize it.  Let it go.  Maybe she can get the same dress as your FSIL in black to wear at your wedding! ;-)

    InLoveInQueens
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would like to see these dresses.  Somehow I doubt it's the exact same dress in black and white.



    MairePoppykimmiinthemittenPrettyGirlLost
  • Here you are, shes wearing it without the sleeves.
  • Here you are, shes wearing it without the sleeves.
    Love both dresses but they aren't the exact same. They have a similar shape and style, but the beading and embroidery are very different.
  • Those are WAY different enough that I wouldn't even notice her wearing it to your wedding and taking pics next to you. Same silhouette? Yes. But the black contrasting flowers, bigger lace pattern, sleeves, no bling....even the sweetheart neckline isn't nearly as pronounced as yours. Definitely let this one go.
    InLoveInQueensPupatella
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Here you are, shes wearing it without the sleeves.
    The appliques look pretty different, not the same pattern. It's a similar style but in black looks totally different. I think you should be fine! Count this as one less thing to worry about.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    boo.  I can't see the dresses anymore.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    hashtag43016
  • If this was an isolated incident then I would have changed the title, but shes constantly giving backhanded compliments. Upon meeting my mother who happens to be very skinny she asked her about her weight and went on to tell her "oh I used to be a size 0 no wait a size 00", but it makes you look old now. I didn't appreciate her upsetting my mother who was nervous to meet her already but drove 8 hours just for the occasion. She made comments about my sister having a baby before marrying her now husband. I don;t want to give the impression that I was upset about the dress just to be a comolete brat. 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Boo, I missed the pictures.  Why did they disappear?  It doesn't look like OP edited her post.



  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    What happened to the pictures? I missed them.

    OP, what does your fi say about his mother being disrepectful to you and your family?

                       
  • He admits she can be nasty, but says thats just who she is and then will get defensive and attack my family.If you have to get defensive then you see her bad behavior too. I'll just have to pick my battles with this one.
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