Bridesmaid Shoe Question

ak1112

Hi all-

I'm trying to gather some more input on whether or not  I should have the  bridesmaids shoes match their outfits. I've been getting mixed messages from folks that have been helping me with planning so far - so I thought some outside opinions would be beneficial

I normally would be completely fine with the girls wearing different  shoes - however, they are going to be in  matching outfits (gold tulle skirts (not tooooo poofy) and silk tank tops) - each piece is being made by a bridesmaid's mother for about $60 total. I am thinking of  having them in a navy  shoe - since they may wear a navy silk sash  as well.   However - since the groomsmen will also be in navy, I'm worried if we have too many colors of navy going on up front it'll be  distracting. 

I saw someone's idea of getting a paint swatch from home depot and sending those  to the girls - but do other folks have  other opinions/ideas?  I did find fairly inexpensive ($45) shoes that all the girls liked - but I thought it may be nice if they all could pick what they are most comfortable in. 

Thanks! 

Maggie0829

I would just tell them to wear any nude shoe.  No one will care about what is on your BMs feet.  And even if you told them to wear navy shoes I doubt anyone will think "OMG between the shoes and the GM suits, there is just SO. MUCH. NAVY!"

So what I am trying to say is you are overthinking this.

cgss11

I would just name a color and have them get whatever. Don't go the color swatch route for shoes. Personally, I think navy shoes always look "heavy", especially with tulle skirts. I would consider a nude shoe, or gold.

lembaslover

I really don't think anyone is going to be paying attention to the bridesmaid's shoes so personally I'd just let them wear what they want. Navy is a fairly neutral color so I don't think asking them for navy is that big of a deal but at the same time I don't think anyone would notice if one girl wore black instead. Maybe instead of navy just say a dark color. I wouldn't like being told exactly what shoe to wear and keep in mind that while $45 might seem inexpensive to you it might be a lot to someone else. 

MesmrEwe

As someone who has double-wide skis for feet (11ww or 12w), choose a color and let your girls run with it to get something they'll be comfortable in the entire day/evening.  Navy and nude are good definitive colors to find something in so choose which you like more. 

STARMOON44

You're making them wear gold tulle skirts. Let them wear whatever shoes they want.

snowywinter

NUDE. Don't choose navy. It cuts off the leg at the ankle and will look bad with gold skirts. Tell them to pick any nude (or gold) shoe they want.

artbyallie

Please do not dictate shoes. Even if you buy them (and you would have to, if it is a specific pair), shoes are so personal and can be so easily uncomfortable. My anecdote: I was in ballet for 14 years. My feet are pretty fucked up. High arches, so I almost have to have some sort of heel. My toes are bent and oddly shaped. My feet are overall juuuuust slightly wide for their size, so I never know if a standard width is going to work, but wide sizes are always too wide. Nope nope nope. Don't pick out shoes for your bridesmaids. No one will care anyway, and it won't even show up in your pictures so there is zero reason worth giving a fuck about.

JoanE2012

Another vote to let them wear whatever shoe they want in a color you choose.  No one will care or notice - not to mention I hate the matchy-matchy look.  And if you insist on the shoes, you should be paying for them.

justsie

adyakusyk said:

Hi all-

I'm trying to gather some more input on whether or not  I should have the  bridesmaids shoes match their outfits. I've been getting mixed messages from folks that have been helping me with planning so far - so I thought some outside opinions would be beneficial

I normally would be completely fine with the girls wearing different  shoes - however, they are going to be in  matching outfits (gold tulle skirts (not tooooo poofy) and silk tank tops) - each piece is being made by a bridesmaid's mother for about $60 total. I am thinking of  having them in a navy  shoe - since they may wear a navy silk sash  as well.   However - since the groomsmen will also be in navy, I'm worried if we have too many colors of navy going on up front it'll be  distracting. 

I saw someone's idea of getting a paint swatch from home depot and sending those  to the girls - but do other folks have  other opinions/ideas?  I did find fairly inexpensive ($45) shoes that all the girls liked - but I thought it may be nice if they all could pick what they are most comfortable in. 

Thanks! 

Let them wear whatever shoe they would like. 

hellohkb

Let them wear whatever shoes they want. No one will notice the color of their shoes.

kimmiinthemitten

engagedhamstermom said:

I really don't think anyone is going to be paying attention to the bridesmaid's shoes so personally I'd just let them wear what they want. Navy is a fairly neutral color so I don't think asking them for navy is that big of a deal but at the same time I don't think anyone would notice if one girl wore black instead. Maybe instead of navy just say a dark color. I wouldn't like being told exactly what shoe to wear and keep in mind that while $45 might seem inexpensive to you it might be a lot to someone else. 

Or for girls with hard to fit feet, $45 may be an impossible budget for a comfortable shoe!  I imagine a $45.00 heel in a 3 inch heel or higher will be awfully constructed and horrific on my feet!

TheCheeseWench

STARMOON44 said:

You're making them wear gold tulle skirts. Let them wear whatever shoes they want.

^^^^ THIS.
They are already wearing something that they will never wear again. Do not force them to obtain another "straight to the Goodwill pile" item. I warned my bridesmaids that the wedding would be outdoors so they should wear comfy shoes. One of them couldn't resist buying a pair of (effing FABULOUS) stilettos to go with her dress (that she individually picked out). After the rehearsal she understood why I warned against it. The grass would have been Hell on them. She decided that she should skip our pre-wedding mani/pedi & lunch to go buy another new pair of shoes. I told her I didn't care if she wore flip flops. She thought that was great and did. Guess what...ZERO people cared what was on ANY of our feet.

ak1112

thanks for the input everyone!

I know gold skirts sounds heinous but I promise it's a pretty light gold color.   

But I'm going to take everyone's advice and go with nude pumps that the girls can pick!

Also the outfits are still  up in  the air - this is just the most up to date iteration.  The wedding isn't for another 11 months  

STARMOON44

Then please don't make them wear homemade gold tulle skirts with silk tank tops! If you can't find a look in a normal store there is often a reason. It's not the gold that sounds heinous to me, it is the entire look.

lovemesomemonster

For the shoes I agree with everyone else. Not all feet are created the same and everyone is comfortable in something different. Nobody will notice or care that they are all wearing the same shoes, just give them a color (like nude) and say to wear whatever they want. 

ak1112

The color was originally a dusty blue - a.la. http://www.alexandragrecco.com/skirts/gretta-tulle-skirt-dusty-blue-30-length 

Unfortunately it's impossible to find tulle in that color.  

I'm excited for how it will look - the seamstress will be making the skirt/top for her daughter ahead of time to see how it all looks. And we may end up going with a lace top instead or something other than the silk. The seamstress just thought that since I'm going to be in a silk blouse and tulle skirt during the reception (there's a lace overlay during the ceremony) - that it would be pretty if they were in silk tanks as well. The silk tanks will be similar in style to this - http://www.bhldn.com/product/in-perpetuity-camisole-white

And i will be buying cardigans for the girls to wear throughout the evening in case it gets chilly.

kvruns

wiscobride0903 said:

The color was originally a dusty blue - a.la. http://www.alexandragrecco.com/skirts/gretta-tulle-skirt-dusty-blue-30-length 

Unfortunately it's impossible to find tulle in that color.  

I'm excited for how it will look - the seamstress will be making the skirt/top for her daughter ahead of time to see how it all looks. And we may end up going with a lace top instead or something other than the silk. The seamstress just thought that since I'm going to be in a silk blouse and tulle skirt during the reception (there's a lace overlay during the ceremony) - that it would be pretty if they were in silk tanks as well. The silk tanks will be similar in style to this - http://www.bhldn.com/product/in-perpetuity-camisole-white

And i will be buying cardigans for the girls to wear throughout the evening in case it gets chilly.

Is it outside?

ak1112

No the wedding is indoors but it's in an old converted warehouse- in September.
The cardigans will be more precautionary in case it does get a bit chilly inside or if they decide to go onto the patio throughout the evening.

MobKaz

kvruns said:

show previous quotes

wiscobride0903 said:

The color was originally a dusty blue - a.la. http://www.alexandragrecco.com/skirts/gretta-tulle-skirt-dusty-blue-30-length 

Unfortunately it's impossible to find tulle in that color.  

I'm excited for how it will look - the seamstress will be making the skirt/top for her daughter ahead of time to see how it all looks. And we may end up going with a lace top instead or something other than the silk. The seamstress just thought that since I'm going to be in a silk blouse and tulle skirt during the reception (there's a lace overlay during the ceremony) - that it would be pretty if they were in silk tanks as well. The silk tanks will be similar in style to this - http://www.bhldn.com/product/in-perpetuity-camisole-white

And i will be buying cardigans for the girls to wear throughout the evening in case it gets chilly.

Is it outside?

Not again!  An outdoor wedding in September in Wisconsin?  No risk there!  :-O

OP, I honestly cannot imagine a more unforgiving look for your BM's.  There is no reason they need to match you.  There are scores of lovely dresses with lace overlays that would allow your BM's to look and feel more appropriate AND give them a fighting chance of wearing them again.  Please reconsider the tulle.  It may be a look YOU love, but I think there is a reason you cannot find them in a store.

ak1112

it's not an outdoor wedding - I already responded to that - but there is an outdoor patio at the space in case people want to go  outside. 

And we are doing a trial run on one of the maids first. I have run it by all of the girls and plenty of others - and we are all in agreement. I'm sorry you all don't agree, but we are moving forward unless something else ends up popping up - we have plenty of time. And the silk tank was the seamstresses idea - her  daughter is one of the BM - so I doubt she wants to make something that she really believes her daughter won't look lovely in. 

kimmiinthemitten

This is what I picture:

Which is super cute if all of your BM's are this thin.  If they're all okay and comfortable in it, that's what matters, but be sure they really are.  I would look more like this in that outfit:

  Oh and I too vote for nude shoes.

cgss11

Tulle skirts can be bad, for sure. I picture more like this though, which is nice. Looks similar to other chiffon type bridesmaids dresses I've worn. So it all depends on the execution.

ak1112

Right - that's definitely what we'll be going for - with a not super form fitting silk tank like I linked out to above. 

This was the  original inspiration - but they will just be a light gold now instead of dusty blue due to tulle constraints -  and not as poofy as this skirt either.