Wedding Party

Flower girl vs. Junior Bridesmaid

Hello all,

We are planning on asking my fiance's God-daughter to be a junior bridesmaid in our wedding (she will be 11). I would also like to ask her sister to be in our wedding as well. I believe she will be 8 or 9 years old at the time of our wedding. 

Should we ask her to be a flower girl or junior bridesmaid?

Thanks for your help!
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Re: Flower girl vs. Junior Bridesmaid

  • Hello all,

    We are planning on asking my fiance's God-daughter to be a junior bridesmaid in our wedding (she will be 11). I would also like to ask her sister to be in our wedding as well. I believe she will be 8 or 9 years old at the time of our wedding. 

    Should we ask her to be a flower girl or junior bridesmaid?

    Thanks for your help!
    If you don't care either way, you could always ask her which role she would prefer. This sounds like a personal option between you and your FI though. Also, there is no need to add "junior" in front of bridesmaid- they are the same thing so they can have the same title. A lot of young bridesmaids will probably not like being called a "junior" bridesmaid. 
    image
    mileybangerz[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    There is zero reason to make the 11 year old a junior BM.  All wedding party members do the exact same thing which is to wear the required attire and show up at your wedding ready to walk down the aisle and smile for pictures.  So the title "junior BM" just emphasizes the fact that she is younger then the other BMs which will be obvious to anyone in attendance.  So eliminate the "junior" part.

    As for the sister, she can be a BM or a FG.  If you don't care either way then do as PP said and ask her what she would prefer.

    PrettyGirlLostonefootinthebayou
  • Thanks for your help, but I don't need judgement on whether I call someone a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid. 

    I was asking for advice on the flower girl. 


    annaslay

  • Thanks for your help, but I don't need judgement on whether I call someone a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid. 

    I was asking for advice on the flower girl. 


    In your OP, you asked:  Should we ask her to be a flower girl or junior bridesmaid?

    The answer we are giving you is that you should ask her to be a bridesmaid if that's what she wants.
    image
    justsiePrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • edited October 2015
    I also didn't ask for opinions on "Junior bridesmaid". That is what I was referring to. 

    Thanks. 
  • A "junior" bridesmaid has got to be a made up thing that happened in the last few decades. Probably because an anal retentive bride didn't like the idea of calling everyone a bridesmaid if some were wearing different dresses or if some of the bridesmaids didn't throw a shower / go to the bach party because they were younger or the number of "real" bridesmaids had to match the number of groomsmen.

    It's a pointless distinction. You didn't ask opinions on it, but we're telling you because we want to help you out.
    As the title "junior" does nothing but single these girls out for being younger, why use it? And think how tickled they might be, and how grown up they might feel, to be full fledged bridesmaids. It might really make their day. Drop the pointless junior title and make these girls really happy.
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueensHeffalump
  • Thanks for your help, but I don't need judgement on whether I call someone a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid. 


    I was asking for advice on the flower girl. 


    Btw, nobody is judging you. Judging would be saying that you are rude or that you don't care about these girls. Nobody is doing that. We are simply saying that the distinction of "junior'" is not necessary.
    image
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • edited October 2015
    "I didn't feel the need to label my other bridesmaids "Asian bridesmaid" "curvy bridesmaid" "redheaded bridesmaid"... so why would I single out her just because she's young?"

    Oh give me a break. "Asian bridesmaid"? Really? Now you're just being ridiculous. 

    Excuse me for using the term "junior bridesmaid". I did not know I would be offending everyone so much. 

    For the record I read the term "junior bridesmaid" on an etiquette website and did not think twice about it. Hence why I used the term. 

    annaslay
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2015
    "I didn't feel the need to label my other bridesmaids "Asian bridesmaid" "curvy bridesmaid" "redheaded bridesmaid"... so why would I single out her just because she's young?"

    Oh give me a break. "Asian bridesmaid"? Really? Now you're just being ridiculous. 

    Excuse me for using the term "junior bridesmaid". I did not know I would be offending everyone so much. 

    For the record I read the term "junior bridesmaid" on an etiquette website and did not think twice about it. Hence why I used the term. 

    And we are telling you that the term is pointless.  Why the need to point out that someone is younger then the rest of your group?  That's right, there is no reason.

    For some reason this title became popular because, why I don't know.  Maybe so that the dress industry can have a thing to call those dresses that aren't flower girl dresses, but aren't adult dresses.

    Mainly I am just interested why people are so insistent in using term 'junior bridesmaid' when it is pointless and meaningless.  Just because a random wedding website told you so?

    ETA:  I am not offended by this term.  I just think it is dumb as hell.

    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueenslc07
  • "I didn't feel the need to label my other bridesmaids "Asian bridesmaid" "curvy bridesmaid" "redheaded bridesmaid"... so why would I single out her just because she's young?"

    Oh give me a break. "Asian bridesmaid"? Really? Now you're just being ridiculous. 

    Excuse me for using the term "junior bridesmaid". I did not know I would be offending everyone so much. 

    For the record I read the term "junior bridesmaid" on an etiquette website and did not think twice about it. Hence why I used the term. 

    Now's the time to think twice.  Can you provide a good reason why the designation of "junior" is necessary?

    Think back to when you were 9 or 11.  Most girls at that age don't want to be thought of as "girls".  They are starting to grow up and want to act older than they really are.  They won't join you for a crazy bachelorette party, nor will they drink booze at your wedding.  They will do the EXACT SAME THING as the other bridesmaids.  There really is no reason to point out that they are "junior".
    image
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostInLoveInQueens
  • You all have made your point. Really, not something to get worked up about. 

    Like I said, I read it on an etiquette website and did not think twice at the time. 


  • edited October 2015
    If you all would like to "take a stand" on this. 

    Write to a website that talks about the term "junior bridesmaid".

    It is pointless to bully me about it. 

    Had I known what these "community boards" actually were, I never would have posted anything. 

    Thanks again for being so nice. 
    dreamsinpink
  • If you all would like to "take a stand" on this. 

    Write to a website that talks about the term "junior bridesmaid".

    It is pointless to bully me about it. 

    Had I known what these "community boards" actually were, I never would have posted anything. 

    Thanks again for being so nice. 
    Bullying?  Which of these did we do?  http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html
    image
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2015
    If you all would like to "take a stand" on this. 

    Write to a website that talks about the term "junior bridesmaid".

    It is pointless to bully me about it. 

    Had I known what these "community boards" actually were, I never would have posted anything. 

    Thanks again for being so nice. 
    image

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I also like how OP has never given a reason as to why she insists on using that term.  Probably because she doesn't have one (well a good one) so instead she calls us bullies and infers how "mean" these boards are.

    mileybangerzInLoveInQueens
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh FFS, this again?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    If you all would like to "take a stand" on this. 

    Write to a website that talks about the term "junior bridesmaid".

    It is pointless to bully me about it. 

    Had I known what these "community boards" actually were, I never would have posted anything. 

    Thanks again for being so nice. 
    For fuck's sake, grow the hell up and do some research about what bullying actually is.  Hint: it's not even close to the responses you got.



    [Deleted User]onefootinthebayou
  • My 11 year old sister was a bridesmaid, I put only bridesmaid in the description on the program..

    people still called her my Jr. bridesmaid, even our mom. So while everyone here gave you good advice to call her a bridesmaid and ask her what she wants (what I did since my FG were in cutsie tutu's not dresses, and no older than 6). also my 11 year old sister is the same height as me so her walking with three little girls would look weird.

    You put your information up on a public internet forum expect to get more than you asked for, and have the ability to comprehend that these PP don't know or care if they offend you, just giving you advice based off the information that they got from you.
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