Snarky Brides

Cautionary tale - "wedding day helpers"

I bet that 1/3 of guests remember this day fondly...

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That kinda takes putting your friends to work to a new level! We often talk about family/WP members not being able to enjoy the reception due to having to do jobs for the b&g, but missing the entire ceremony is one I haven't seen until now!
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Jen4948

Re: Cautionary tale - "wedding day helpers"

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How much shit did she have to do that required almost 24 people to be "helping?"  


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    knottie2b256f5c2ae42586MesmrEwe
  • And what were they doing during the ceremony? How much needs to be done at that time? 

    Maybe setting up the reception?

    Either way, *barf*

    InLoveInQueens
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Boy did she have her priorities out of order...
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  • OMG, my church that holds 200 looked empty! DO OVER, for better pictures!!


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  • I'm really hoping what she meant by "helper" was "in the wedding party and therefore at the front". But it doesn't look like there are more than 8 WP members so that still doesn't explain 1/3 of 70... Yikes. 

    We had about 100 guests in a chapel that seats 300. I wish I would have thought to pay filler people. Our pictures are totally ruined. 
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  • The majority of her post is a shit-show. I'm guessing the people who left early were the "wedding day helpers." At least I hope they were.


  • She should have done what the award show people do and hire people to fill in the seats in case of absences or bathroom breaks.  That way her ceremony and reception photos would look full and everyone would know how loved and popular she is.  I mean look at that good looking guy behind Brad Pitt.  He could have been at her wedding!


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    Whattt? I didnt know this was a thing. I would take that job!
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    kimmiinthemitten
  • zitiqueen said:
    The majority of her post is a shit-show. I'm guessing the people who left early were the "wedding day helpers." At least I hope they were.


    Ha! I looked at her post and my favorite part is the picture of her at the altar - not because of the bride, but because of the face the bm right behind her is making. CLASSIC. 
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    Heffalump[Deleted User]MissKittyDanger
  • Please tell me you guys continued down the thread and read some responses! Some of these girls are just... wow. 
    hashtag43016
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I just... I invited kids to my wedding. My cousin's son threw a tantrum as the ceremony was starting because he wanted to be with Nana. And Nana was my officiant so he was told "No", he was not pleased. My regret about that is that my cousin missed my ceremony because she was outside the hall with him. Having my cousin who I love at my wedding (if not at the ceremony) was way more important to me than dealing with a little bit of kid crying.
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    JediElizabeth
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Please tell me you guys continued down the thread and read some responses! Some of these girls are just... wow. 
    That's a rabbit hole I don't have time to go down, though it would be really interesting! I saw a couple that are reasonable, like, didn't get a photo with key family members. A couple .... aren't reasonable... like... did I seriously read one where they took photos for their whole reception? And by the time they went in for the first dance, most everyone had left? My god. 
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    lpeanut0610
  • I loved this one (I think it is on the next page): Our wedding was on a Sunday (afternoon) and I was super disappointed in how many people left right after dinner. I thought it was quite rude considering all of our guests lived in the area and often stayed late on Sunday family dinners, so I felt it was rude that they were leaving at 7 after eating our expensive dinner. Oh well <img class="emoji" draggable="false" alt="
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    lpeanut0610Amanderson1290
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    Please tell me you guys continued down the thread and read some responses! Some of these girls are just... wow. 
    That's a rabbit hole I don't have time to go down, though it would be really interesting! I saw a couple that are reasonable, like, didn't get a photo with key family members. A couple .... aren't reasonable... like... did I seriously read one where they took photos for their whole reception? And by the time they went in for the first dance, most everyone had left? My god. 

    ******************************BOX****************************

    Yeah... well, it was their last dance, but yeah. They kept going in and out of the reception to take pictures. WHY?????? WHYYYYY?????????? How could THAT # of photos possibly be more important than SPENDING TIME WITH THE PEOPLE YOU INVITED TO WITNESS AND CELEBRATE YOUR MARRIAGE?!?! Here's the significant bits of her story...

    * Totally thrown-off timeline. I thought I would have everyone at the venue (which is an hour-and-a-half from where I lived and where my salon is) by 3 p.m., ready for pics by 3:30 p.m.  Unfortunately, I was delayed at the salon, then we encountered very heavy, holiday-weekend traffic, and there were a couple of accidents ahead of us on the routes we were traveling. Bottom line, I wasn’t dressed and ready for pics until 5 p.m. for our 6 p.m. ceremony, and it was 96 degrees outside. The photographer suggested that I NOT even go outside before the ceremony. All of the pics with me in my dress before the ceremony were shot in the bride’s room, in front of a window, and they all show the same type of background.

    As a result, we had to take pictures during the hors d’oeuvres hour and after dinner, during the reception. 

    *I missed the entire hors d’oeuvres hour and most of my own reception taking pics that didn’t even turn out especially well. We only ended up taking a few shots of the bridal party, and they were all posed, and it was starting to get dark, so the lighting was bad.

    *I ended up with not one single picture of myself with just all of my bridesmaids.

    *There are no pictures of me with just DH and my stepchildren.

    *There are no pictures with us with both sets of parents together.

    *My heels were sinking in the grass while our formal portraits were being taken. I was trying to balance on my toes, and I have this tense, emotionless smile on my face in most of them. 

    *I never took off my veil the entire night. Since we didn’t get to take family pics until after I had cut the cake, I kept my veil on the whole night, and I did not have a single pic of my beautiful updo without my veil covering it. I didn’t get upset about this while I was at the venue, but, the next day, when I talked to my mom on the phone, and she mentioned that my aunts and cousins loved the wedding but commented that they couldn’t see my pretty hair, I suddenly realized what had happened and that I didn’t have ANY pics of my amazing updo. It turned out to be the second most upsetting thing that happened (or, in my case, didn’t happen) that day. I eventually arranged to have my bridal hair and make-up redone and have an in-studio, bridal portrait taken without the veil, before I cut my hair. I am SOOOOO glad I did this!

    * Because of the thrown-off timeline and the pics that had to be taken during the reception, we never had the opportunity to even greet most of our guests. THIS was the single, MOST upsetting thing that happened (or, again, in this case DIDN’T happen.) Because the ceremony and reception were at the same venue, there wasn’t really a way to do a receiving line, so we planned to go around and greet all of our guests at their tables during the reception. That never happened. I was able to interact with people who came up to me, but I was able to only go to two of the tables to greet guests. I was so devastated over this that I cried frequently on our honeymoon and became quite grief-filled over it for about nine months after my wedding. 

    Thankfully, because I’ve now been married for three years, I’ve subsequently had the opportunity to see many of the people who attended my wedding, and I’ve finally been able to talk to them and introduce them to my DH! However, it’s really NOT the same to do that at a picnic months or years later as it would have been on that at our wedding reception. 


    and

    My reception was scheduled to end at 11 p.m., but DH and I were still outside taking pics and video.  By the time we went back inside for our last dance, the vast majority of our guests were already gone (though some came outside on the terrace to say good bye to us while we were out there. ) Thank goodness our DJ was still there so we could have the last dance. 

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  • Reading that thread caused actual physical pain.

    lpeanut0610Heffalumpsparklepants41[Deleted User]
  • I kind of understand the hors d'oeuves part .... we were outside and cocktail hour was inside (just before dinner). We didn't miss it all, but I wish I'd planned ahead and asked them to send a server outside {we weren't far from building}
    We did end up getting a few snacks, but that was because one of the wonderful groomsmen had gone to get someone :) I was grateful even though our photos didn't take long lol
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think that one still makes me the most angry. "Because of the thrown off timeline and the pics that had to be taken, we didn't get to greet most of our guests." That is just ludicrous. No pics "had" to be taken. You made a choice to take 1000000000 photos over and above the basics. Your poor guests.
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    InLoveInQueens
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    I kind of understand the hors d'oeuves part .... we were outside and cocktail hour was inside (just before dinner). We didn't miss it all, but I wish I'd planned ahead and asked them to send a server outside {we weren't far from building}
    We did end up getting a few snacks, but that was because one of the wonderful groomsmen had gone to get someone :) I was grateful even though our photos didn't take long lol

    You know what's funny... at my wedding and at two for which I was a bridesmaid this year, the servers absolutely made a beeline for the bridal party. I felt like a VIP (well, technically I was but still) because we got first dibs on the goodies without even asking. I'm surprised your caterers didn't think ahead and send someone out for your group.
    ________________________________




  • I kind of understand the hors d'oeuves part .... we were outside and cocktail hour was inside (just before dinner). We didn't miss it all, but I wish I'd planned ahead and asked them to send a server outside {we weren't far from building}
    We did end up getting a few snacks, but that was because one of the wonderful groomsmen had gone to get someone :) I was grateful even though our photos didn't take long lol

    You know what's funny... at my wedding and at two for which I was a bridesmaid this year, the servers absolutely made a beeline for the bridal party. I felt like a VIP (well, technically I was but still) because we got first dibs on the goodies without even asking. I'm surprised your caterers didn't think ahead and send someone out for your group.
    Right? I feel like most high-end catering companies do that these days. At my wedding and all of the weddings where I've been in the bridal party, we've had servers bringing us out drinks and all the hors d'oeuves we wanted. They know where their bread is buttered, they want you to have an awesome wedding day experience, and they also know who's filling the tip envelope at the end of the night (and who's writing an online review afterward too).

    If anything my catering team went overboard for DH and I. At the end of the night we got an AWESOME take-home bag filled with an extra entree for each of us, leftover hors d'oeurves, and extra cake (which packaged specifically just for us and separate from the other extra cake, which we'd asked for to serve at brunch the next day). We also got an entire takeout box of our late night snack, which were these mini oreo whoopie pies that were AWESOME and the food item that we got the most compliments on by far. We found out that they were so good that people had been asking the wait staff for more of them at the end of the night, and the wait staff told them they were all out, which clearly wasn't true since we came home with an entire box of them. I was SO excited when we opened that box and we loved munching on them in the few days before we left for our honeymoon, but I felt kind of bad once I heard that some people missed out on them because we got packaged up for us. We bought them so that our guests could enjoy them, not so that we could have take-out munchies!
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers



    I kind of understand the hors d'oeuves part .... we were outside and cocktail hour was inside (just before dinner). We didn't miss it all, but I wish I'd planned ahead and asked them to send a server outside {we weren't far from building}
    We did end up getting a few snacks, but that was because one of the wonderful groomsmen had gone to get someone :) I was grateful even though our photos didn't take long lol

    You know what's funny... at my wedding and at two for which I was a bridesmaid this year, the servers absolutely made a beeline for the bridal party. I felt like a VIP (well, technically I was but still) because we got first dibs on the goodies without even asking. I'm surprised your caterers didn't think ahead and send someone out for your group.
    Right? I feel like most high-end catering companies do that these days. At my wedding and all of the weddings where I've been in the bridal party, we've had servers bringing us out drinks and all the hors d'oeuves we wanted. They know where their bread is buttered, they want you to have an awesome wedding day experience, and they also know who's filling the tip envelope at the end of the night (and who's writing an online review afterward too).

    If anything my catering team went overboard for DH and I. At the end of the night we got an AWESOME take-home bag filled with an extra entree for each of us, leftover hors d'oeurves, and extra cake (which packaged specifically just for us and separate from the other extra cake, which we'd asked for to serve at brunch the next day). We also got an entire takeout box of our late night snack, which were these mini oreo whoopie pies that were AWESOME and the food item that we got the most compliments on by far. We found out that they were so good that people had been asking the wait staff for more of them at the end of the night, and the wait staff told them they were all out, which clearly wasn't true since we came home with an entire box of them. I was SO excited when we opened that box and we loved munching on them in the few days before we left for our honeymoon, but I felt kind of bad once I heard that some people missed out on them because we got packaged up for us. We bought them so that our guests could enjoy them, not so that we could have take-out munchies!
    When I work in catering, we always have what we call the VIP shadow for the B&G and WP. When it's me (which it usually is) I always bring apps and box up what's left, mainly because I know the B&G isn't really eating much all day. The gratitude and relief on their faces when you bring them packaged up leftovers at the end of the reception is awesome!
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    simcal18
  • @thisismynickname  I was surprised too because we chose the hors d'oeuvres because we are huge fans! {bruschetta for H, smoked salmon bites for moi!} Once they were told once, they kept basically chasing us down so at least they got the point :)
  • I kind of understand the hors d'oeuves part .... we were outside and cocktail hour was inside (just before dinner). We didn't miss it all, but I wish I'd planned ahead and asked them to send a server outside {we weren't far from building} We did end up getting a few snacks, but that was because one of the wonderful groomsmen had gone to get someone :) I was grateful even though our photos didn't take long lol
    You know what's funny... at my wedding and at two for which I was a bridesmaid this year, the servers absolutely made a beeline for the bridal party. I felt like a VIP (well, technically I was but still) because we got first dibs on the goodies without even asking. I'm surprised your caterers didn't think ahead and send someone out for your group.
    Right? I feel like most high-end catering companies do that these days. At my wedding and all of the weddings where I've been in the bridal party, we've had servers bringing us out drinks and all the hors d'oeuves we wanted. They know where their bread is buttered, they want you to have an awesome wedding day experience, and they also know who's filling the tip envelope at the end of the night (and who's writing an online review afterward too). If anything my catering team went overboard for DH and I. At the end of the night we got an AWESOME take-home bag filled with an extra entree for each of us, leftover hors d'oeurves, and extra cake (which packaged specifically just for us and separate from the other extra cake, which we'd asked for to serve at brunch the next day). We also got an entire takeout box of our late night snack, which were these mini oreo whoopie pies that were AWESOME and the food item that we got the most compliments on by far. We found out that they were so good that people had been asking the wait staff for more of them at the end of the night, and the wait staff told them they were all out, which clearly wasn't true since we came home with an entire box of them. I was SO excited when we opened that box and we loved munching on them in the few days before we left for our honeymoon, but I felt kind of bad once I heard that some people missed out on them because we got packaged up for us. We bought them so that our guests could enjoy them, not so that we could have take-out munchies!
    When I work in catering, we always have what we call the VIP shadow for the B&G and WP. When it's me (which it usually is) I always bring apps and box up what's left, mainly because I know the B&G isn't really eating much all day. The gratitude and relief on their faces when you bring them packaged up leftovers at the end of the reception is awesome!
    This was my experience as well - from the beginning my caterer and DOC discussed with us how they would make sure we got fed. We had basically planned to enter at the tail end of our cocktail hour (really it was a cocktail 45 minutes) right before dinner was served. Our WP was able to enjoy the majority of the cocktail time because we had taken all the pictures except family shots before the ceremony. When we got to our seats the caterer had set out a selection of all the apps for us and also brought us our dinner while the guests went through the buffet. This way we were able to have a few minutes to eat and then jump right into table visits while our guests were eating dinner. 

    We also were sent off with a selection of the cheeses, entree food, and cake. I would be surprised at any caterer who doesn't know to do this. 
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  • Our catering was through the location - golf course and country club - and it wasn't high-end but definitely not cheap. I kinda wish we had our own server that could go grab a round of drinks {we had a punch for cocktail hour} and snacks to the wedding party outside.
    Although that sounds very princess-y .... I remembering being super thirsty that day when we walked in, I grabbed a bottle water and guzzled half of it lol
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