Walking Without Dad

Knottie1428113519

Hi all,
My father passed away in January of 2015. We were best friends, and I was his caretaker while he was ill. It was absolutely horrible to lose him.
6 months later, my boyfriend proposed. I'm very excited! We are getting married in October of 2016.
I am having a hard time thinking about walking down the aisle without my dad. I have three older brothers who I would love to walk me, but I couldn't just choose one, and four of us might pose a crowd problem in the aisle.
I think I'd like to walk alone, carrying my father's bible. It belonged to his mother, and meant a lot to him. Is this an okay thing to do? Anybody have any other ideas, to help me feel close to my dad when I walk? I'd love to hear any ideas, or what others did!
Thank you!

Jen4948

There's no reason you can't walk by yourself with the Bible. That would be a sweet, subtle way of remembering your father. Best wishes!

MobKaz

Knottie1428113519 said:

Hi all, My father passed away in January of 2015. We were best friends, and I was his caretaker while he was ill. It was absolutely horrible to lose him. 6 months later, my boyfriend proposed. I'm very excited! We are getting married in October of 2016. I am having a hard time thinking about walking down the aisle without my dad. I have three older brothers who I would love to walk me, but I couldn't just choose one, and four of us might pose a crowd problem in the aisle. I think I'd like to walk alone, carrying my father's bible. It belonged to his mother, and meant a lot to him. Is this an okay thing to do? Anybody have any other ideas, to help me feel close to my dad when I walk? I'd love to hear any ideas, or what others did! Thank you!

I'm sorry for your loss.

Your idea sounds lovely.  Many brides choose to walk alone for a variety of reasons.  Some brides will have their grooms meet them half way, and walk together to the officiant.  That is another option for you to consider.

There have been many posts asking about ways to incorporate loved ones into their ceremony and reception without turning the wedding into a memorial.  If you have a tie from your father, you could use it to wrap around your bouquet as a subtle reminder.  I have also seen ties refashioned into flowers.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_BtB-PJ5O4

You could add a favorite food or beverage of your dad's into your reception meal.  You can have the DJ play one of his preferred upbeat songs at the reception.

Good luck to you!

emmaaa

I think that sounds like a lovely idea. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you wanted someone to present you or "give you away" maybe your brothers could do that and wait for you at the end of the aisle. 

ryanandjoe4

My father passed away when I was young and although it isn't as fresh as your loss, I had the same Issue.. Only one brother so he walked me down, you could have the oldest or closest (if it is obvious) then have the other two walk directly in front of you? it is your wedding you can ask anyone to walk in any order..

also I couldn't decide on what to do with ideas found in post on TK, and of course pintrest is full of them..

I know there was one poster on here that put her fathers favorite hat in the corner on a hat rack, and the shirt  sewn in the dress..

the day of my wedding I had to drop of my son to my MIL house, H didn't want to see me that day, so he was out of the house. His mom greeted me, and handed me a box, and it had a locket with my dads picture on the front. We both were in tears it was a beautiful moment.. H told me after the wedding that he was going to give it to MOH, or Best Man, but his mom insisted she wanted to give it to me.

julieanne912

Hat on the rack bride here that ryanandjoe mentioned.  I think carrying his Bible down with you is a lovely way to have him close to you.  I ended up having my stepdad walk me because it made my mom super happy to have someone walk with me, but I was strongly considering walking alone.

CMGragain

Traditionally, florist used to make up a floral drape for a Bible that was carried by a bride in lieu of a bouquet.
Just mentioning practical matters here.  The bridal escort's function is to steady her while she is walking down the aisle.  This can be very important if she has a long dress and/or high heels.  There is nothing wrong with you walking by yourself, but think about it.  Brides have been known to trip and fall.  My cousin ripped her dress, and they had to wait until it was pinned, and start the processional all over again!
I am sorry for your loss.  My father died when I was 15.  Ten years later, I still felt his loss at my wedding.  I asked his brother, my uncle, to walk me.  I also had my grandmother privately place a flower from my bouquet on his grave afterwards.

Knottie1428113519

Thank you all so, so much for your kindness! I loved the ideas! I am suddenly conscious of tripping and falling...considering having my brothers at different places along the way, to all walk together. I'd love to have a piece of Dad with me, still considering having a piece of his favorite shirt sewn into my dress (just haven't the heart to touch his clothing quite yet). There are so many beautiful ideas, from all of you. Thank you so much!

STARMOON44

I'm not sure if this would be appropriate for you, but I would have my mother walk me down the aisle if my father couldn't. And still carry his bible with flowers on it.

MobKaz

Knottie1428113519 said:

Thank you all so, so much for your kindness! I loved the ideas! I am suddenly conscious of tripping and falling...considering having my brothers at different places along the way, to all walk together. I'd love to have a piece of Dad with me, still considering having a piece of his favorite shirt sewn into my dress (just haven't the heart to touch his clothing quite yet). There are so many beautiful ideas, from all of you. Thank you so much!

I can understand if you don't want to cut one of his shirts.  You could wear it for your "getting ready" top, as a button down top is typically worn to keep hair styles intact.

FWIW, I am a MOB and MOG.  My dad passed away 14 years ago.  I still have two of his flannel shirts that I will often wear in the winter when I don't feel well.  I will always find it comforting.

holyguacamole79

A bit off topic (but somewhat related) ... I found it helpful to wear my wedding shoes to the rehearsal so I could practice walking down the aisle in the heels I was going to wear the next day.  

I'm also sorry for your loss.