Unique Titles for each bridesmaid
Hello everyone!
I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them! 
I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.
Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same. Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc. I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of.... trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something. Anyone have other ideas?
Thanks!!
Re: Unique Titles for each bridesmaid
One thing you might want to do instead is give them all something small to wear character-related, if it means a lot to you. My FI once received amazing cuff-links with a character from a video game he and the groom had played constantly growing up. All the wedding party members got something similar, with similar sentimental significance (aside from a real gift that was not to be worn at the wedding). It was a sweet way to honor those memories, and added to the personalized nerd culture vibe the bride & groom were going for without being too OTT.
I'd scrap this idea.
I wouldn't want to be a "Mermaid of" even my own best friend or my SIL.
Being an MOH, bridesmaid/man, Best Man, groomsman/maid, etc. is an honor. Asking someone you want to honor to agree to be called by a cutesy title just because you want to pat yourself on the back about being "non-traditional/fun/funky/unique" probably is going to make them feel "wtf" and not honored to be a "Mermaid of" or "Iron Man."
Also, you'll find that the "proposing" to bridesmaids isn't a popular idea around here. It's not necessary and it can apply undue pressure to the woman to accept if she may not be up for it.
I understand wanting to add personal touches, and that's okay. My FI and I are thinking about buying pins for his best man and my MOH-- he's thinking a hand of the king pin from GOT, and I'm thinking of a mockingjay (MOH is my little sister, who made me read the Hunger Games). However, they won't have different titles, and that's not their gifts. (Pretty sure my gift to my sister is going to be our matching sister tattoos she's been asking about for years!)
So you can add little personal touches-- he can give each groomsman a superhero themed something, and you can give your BMs something mermaid themed-- without going over-the-top with it. Sometimes simple is better. That's just my two cents.
As for proposals, ask them each individually first, that way with no elaborate "proposal", they might not feel awkward if they have to say no. You could however follow up with a "thank you" card or gift or whatever of the same caliber as what your proposal would be (you don't have to give them a gift for asking).
Then when all of your party has said yes, tell them about your idea. They might have fun coming up with their own names! I do however think you should stick with 1 theme, you don't have to, but mix and matching mermaid/nautical type stuff with action heroes might be a little confusing. If not, maybe come up with a couple lines in the program's explaining your interests. or something. But I'm all for unique stuff like that!
I personally find the mermaid thing to be childish and off-putting. A friend asked me to be her maid of hotness a few years ago. I didn't understand what it meant, and assumed that it was some sort of runner-up bridesmaid. I was incredibly confused when she wanted me to buy a bridesmaid dress, because I was actually a bridesmaid. We walked up and down the aisle like a bridesmaid, we carried bridesmaid bouquets, and everyone at the wedding referred to us as bridesmaids.
You don't have to try so hard to be special and unique. Your wedding will be special and unique because it is yours.
I used to be a Girl Guide leader and they would love the names you picked out. Women over the age of 11, not so much.
Cutsie-poo titles = EEEEeeewwwwwwwwww!
And I would totally rather be Thor than a mermaid.
Also, I say this not because I'm super traditional. I'm not. I just prefer things that have actual meaning instead of randomly picking jewels or elements. Oh, and I'm not big on kids birthday parties in general. I think there are better ways to not be traditional that don't look like you are trying so hard to prove you are not traditional.
I spent a really long time coming up with these 2 little booklets for our ceremony and reception. They were quirky, filled with fun facts, totally informal. Then I got worried people would think they were weird. So I quickly made up 2 formal programs. Straight forward, to the point, nothing silly. I showed them both to my sister and she said "honestly, go with the booklets. The programs are fine, but these booklets are way more you guys."
And guess what, they were awesome and all my guests loved them. If your friends and family love you guys, they're not gonna care if you call your bridesmaids mermaids and your groomsman super whatever's! At the end of the day everyone is there to support you and your FI on your wedding day. So I say have fun with it!
Welcome to The Knot. We will tell you the absolute truth because we have no reason to lie to you.
This idea is hideous! Don't do it!
The idea of cutsie-poo titles is demeaning, disrespectful, and perfectly hideous.
Boxboxbox. Where are the boxes?
My friends would think I was insane. Possibly because I don't normally treat them like small children. Hell I don't treat the small child that I have as childishly as this idea.
There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.
I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.
If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.
She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.
And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.
Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement.
You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory.
A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.
Just kidding, I'm with PPs. This is a bad call. There will be lots of other places to personalize your day without a struggle.
If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.
I think this is a silly idea. If a friend of mine were into it, I would pretend that it was ok, but wouldn't really like it.
Also, when will these titles be announced? It's not like they are going to be used over and over again throughout the night, so fretting over these unique titles seems like a waste of time. If you really want to do it, I would save worrying about it until it's closer to the wedding date or when you are doing your programs (if you're having them) so you know what titles to put in them.
FWIW, I would be WAY more honored to be a MOH or BM than a mermaid. In my head, I would think that I am not good enough to be an actual participant in your wedding ceremony. I think the cutesy names take away from the wedding party "role"
You know, brides are in a tough place. We give them a hard time for picking ideas that are too cliche, we give them a hard time for trying too hard to be unique. I sympathize with the position OP is in, trying to come up with a way to set herself apart from the crowd.
BUT I think this is just not the right place to get creative. Maid of honor, bridesmaid etc are roles that carry a lot of meaning. Their function is to honor someone- not to serve as an outlet for self-expression. The more you try to personalize these roles, they more it looks like you are taking focus off of what they are supposed to be about.
So while your friends may very well go along with this idea if it's important to you, as both a bridal party member and a guest I would quietly think to myself that all the hubbub about making up personalized names was really just you pulling focus from the people you are trying to honor.
I think a much better way to go would be to write each of your BM's a letter about what "role" or special position she holds in your heart- the friend who you always want to share good news with first, the friend you know will set you straight if you need it etc. A much more special way to recognize their differences, IMO.
Look, I have plenty of rainbow and unicorn loving friends, but would put my foot down at being referred to as a "mermaid", "unicorn", "pony" whatever, why can't you just refer to them as Bridesmaids and be done with it. Get off Pinterest and stop advocating childish ideas.
I'm not going as far as to think that weird mermaid BM titles would make guests uncomfortable, but I do think this OP is trying too hard to be cutesy. With little things like this, there's not much wrong with cutesy (or things like table names, cutesy garters, stuff like that) but when you have to come to an internet forum to help you come up with the cutesy, you're trying too hard. If you couldn't come up with this crap yourself, it feels forced and it's no longer funny or cute.
My family, H and I have very dry, snarky, asshole senses of humor. We used it here and there throughout the wedding and the planning. But I never had to ask someone to help me with it. Because then it would have gone from "me" and humorous to "bitch is trying way too hard to be funny and it ain't".
The majority of people in this thread are indicating that at best they would experience fremdschamen on behalf of this couple and their wedding party when reading these silly titles in their wedding program, and at worst they would seriously roll their eyes at the immaturity of it all.
I'd be embarrassed for all involved not because i have any sort of personal insecurities- far from it. It just seems juvenile and inappropriate for a wedding. . . unless the entire ceremony was truly off beat and the GMS were actually dressed like the Avengers and the BMs were actually dressed as Mermaids. And then I'd just think that the BMs should have been superheroines too!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
There's a lot I'd endure for my friends and family that I'd go along with and yet it would still annoy me and I'd not say a word. However, if they wanted to do something that made me feel uncomfortable or foolish in any way, I'd let them know that's how I felt.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."