Unique Titles for each bridesmaid

Knottie1447074814

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them!   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?

Thanks!!

ShesSoCold

Knottie1447074814 said:

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them!   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?

Thanks!!

#tryingtoohard

JediElizabeth

Knottie1447074814 said:

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them!   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?

Thanks!!

Ok, probably unpopular opinion here: I would think this was cute if I was a BM. That said, know your crowd. I would be super upset if all the guys were superheroes and I was a mermaid, even a kickass mermaid, instead of a superhero/superheroine. Also, who would know? It might be cute in the program, but too much for the DJ to announce during the entrances.

One thing you might want to do instead is give them all something small to wear character-related, if it means a lot to you. My FI once received amazing cuff-links with a character from a video game he and the groom had played constantly growing up. All the wedding party members got something similar, with similar sentimental significance (aside from a real gift that was not to be worn at the wedding). It was a sweet way to honor those memories, and added to the personalized nerd culture vibe the bride & groom were going for without being too OTT. 

Jen4948

Knottie1447074814 said:

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them!   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?

Thanks!!

I'd scrap this idea.

I wouldn't want to be a "Mermaid of" even my own best friend or my SIL. 

Being an MOH, bridesmaid/man, Best Man, groomsman/maid, etc. is an honor.  Asking someone you want to honor to agree to be called by a cutesy title just because you want to pat yourself on the back about being "non-traditional/fun/funky/unique" probably is going to make them feel "wtf" and not honored to be a "Mermaid of" or "Iron Man."

holyguacamole79

I agree with Elizabeth.  Know your crowd.  If you are confident that these women will go along with it, then why not?  If you put the titles in the wedding program, though, be prepared for some eye-rolling behind your back.  Personally, I'd find it a bit childish and odd and would definitely eye-roll.

Also, you'll find that the "proposing" to bridesmaids isn't a popular idea around here.  It's not necessary and it can apply undue pressure to the woman to accept if she may not be up for it.

randomslove

This definitely seems very young and kind of strange to me. I'm a mermaid (yes, as in a weirdo who swims in a tail) and even I would think this is too much for a wedding.

I understand wanting to add personal touches, and that's okay. My FI and I are thinking about buying pins for his best man and my MOH-- he's thinking a hand of the king pin from GOT, and I'm thinking of a mockingjay (MOH is my little sister, who made me read the Hunger Games). However, they won't have different titles, and that's not their gifts. (Pretty sure my gift to my sister is going to be our matching sister tattoos she's been asking about for years!)

So you can add little personal touches-- he can give each groomsman a superhero themed something, and you can give your BMs something mermaid themed-- without going over-the-top with it. Sometimes simple is better. That's just my two cents.

augsum15

I actually really like your idea and think that it could be really fun as long as you're bridal party is made aware of it and shares the same interests!

As for proposals, ask them each individually first, that way with no elaborate "proposal", they might not feel awkward if they have to say no. You could however follow up with a "thank you" card or gift or whatever of the same caliber as what your proposal would be (you don't have to give them a gift for asking).

Then when all of your party has said yes, tell them about your idea. They might have fun coming up with their own names! I do however think you should stick with 1 theme, you don't have to, but mix and matching mermaid/nautical type stuff with action heroes might be a little confusing. If not, maybe come up with a couple lines in the program's explaining your interests. or something. But I'm all for unique stuff like that!

kaos16

Knottie1447074814 said:

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged not sure of your timeframe, but you should probably wait until about 8 months out or so to pick, you don't want to ask people to early & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them! You don't have to propose to them, just ask them each individually if they will be a bridesmaid, it's quite simple   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person there is no rule that you have to have a maid of honor, you can just have bridesmaids, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live has nothing to do with anything at all, choose your bridal party based on who are your dearest friends that you can't see yourself getting married without having them there.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas? Where are you using these "titles"'?  If it's an inside joke that's one thing, but this can turn from fun and cute to cheesy and immature quite quickly I fear.

Thanks!!

my thoughts are in bold.

MyNameIsNot

You don't have to single one out as a MOH. It's perfectly fine to ask them all to be attendants or BMs. No one needs to be the most honored of them. 

I personally find the mermaid thing to be childish and off-putting. A friend asked me to be her maid of hotness a few years ago. I didn't understand what it meant, and assumed that it was some sort of runner-up bridesmaid. I was incredibly confused when she wanted me to buy a bridesmaid dress, because I was actually a bridesmaid. We walked up and down the aisle like a bridesmaid, we carried bridesmaid bouquets, and everyone at the wedding referred to us as bridesmaids. 

You don't have to try so hard to be special and unique. Your wedding will be special and unique because it is yours. 

TrixieJess

Knottie1447074814 said:

Hello everyone!

I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them!   I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?

Thanks!!

Are all your BMs 11 year old girls?

I used to be a Girl Guide leader and they would love the names you picked out. Women over the age of 11, not so much.

CMGragain

Your MOH is the person who will stand next to you and hold your bouquet while you exchange rings.  That is all.  It is not a big deal.  SOMEBODY has to stand next to you.

Cutsie-poo titles = EEEEeeewwwwwwwwww!

climbingsingle

I just rolled my eyes so hard they fell out of my head. This comes off as cheesy and childish.

levioosa

This is too much.

jacques27

If one of my friends did this, I'd roll my eyes so hard they might never roll back. Are your friends also into mermaids? Is this already an inside joke? Cause if it wasn't and you just randomly anointed me as mermaid of something...eye roll. (Oooohhh...could I be the mermaid of eye rolls?!?) Would I go along with it if it was clear my friend was super into it? Probably, but if it didn't actually have existing meaning to us and our friendship, I'd think it was more child's birthday party than wedding. In fact, it reminds me when we used to play Duck, Duck, Grey Duck (or Goose) and we'd all spend a lot of time thinking up names for all the "not grey ducks" as we went along the circle. "Purple duck, blue duck, rainbow duck, silly duck, grrrrrrr...ape duck haha fooled you, grey duck!"


And I would totally rather be Thor than a mermaid.

Also, I say this not because I'm super traditional. I'm not. I just prefer things that have actual meaning instead of randomly picking jewels or elements. Oh, and I'm not big on kids birthday parties in general. I think there are better ways to not be traditional that don't look like you are trying so hard to prove you are not traditional.

augsum15

You guys might roll your eyes, but everyone has their own tastes. And if these themes and ideas for them reflect their style and personalities, let her call her bridesmaids mermaids! Seriously, at the end of the day as long as they are happy with their wedding their guests will be happy too. It's just a title.

I spent a really long time coming up with these 2 little booklets for our ceremony and reception. They were quirky, filled with fun facts, totally informal. Then I got worried people would think they were weird. So I quickly made up 2 formal programs. Straight forward, to the point, nothing silly. I showed them both to my sister and she said "honestly, go with the booklets. The programs are fine, but these booklets are way more you guys."

And guess what, they were awesome and all my guests loved them. If your friends and family love you guys, they're not gonna care if you call your bridesmaids mermaids and your groomsman super whatever's! At the end of the day everyone is there to support you and your FI on your wedding day. So I say have fun with it!

CMGragain

augsum15 said:

You guys might roll your eyes, but everyone has their own tastes. And if these themes and ideas for them reflect their style and personalities, let her call her bridesmaids mermaids! Seriously, at the end of the day as long as they are happy with their wedding their guests will be happy too. It's just a title. I spent a really long time coming up with these 2 little booklets for our ceremony and reception. They were quirky, filled with fun facts, totally informal. Then I got worried people would think they were weird. So I quickly made up 2 formal programs. Straight forward, to the point, nothing silly. I showed them both to my sister and she said "honestly, go with the booklets. The programs are fine, but these booklets are way more you guys." And guess what, they were awesome and all my guests loved them. If your friends and family love you guys, they're not gonna care if you call your bridesmaids mermaids and your groomsman super whatever's! At the end of the day everyone is there to support you and your FI on your wedding day. So I say have fun with it!

Since you are so sure that your friends and family "love you guys", then it shouldn't surprise you that they won't tell youo to your face that the idea is ridiculous and demeaning because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
Welcome to The Knot.  We will tell you the absolute truth because we have no reason to lie to you. 
This idea is hideous!  Don't do it!

CMGragain

augsum15 said:

You guys might roll your eyes, but everyone has their own tastes. And if these themes and ideas for them reflect their style and personalities, let her call her bridesmaids mermaids! Seriously, at the end of the day as long as they are happy with their wedding their guests will be happy too. It's just a title. I spent a really long time coming up with these 2 little booklets for our ceremony and reception. They were quirky, filled with fun facts, totally informal. Then I got worried people would think they were weird. So I quickly made up 2 formal programs. Straight forward, to the point, nothing silly. I showed them both to my sister and she said "honestly, go with the booklets. The programs are fine, but these booklets are way more you guys." And guess what, they were awesome and all my guests loved them. If your friends and family love you guys, they're not gonna care if you call your bridesmaids mermaids and your groomsman super whatever's! At the end of the day everyone is there to support you and your FI on your wedding day. So I say have fun with it!

So if I wear a clown suit to my wedding, everybody who loves me will think it is just super?  Your friends and family won't tell you if they think your idea is bad BECAUSE they love you.  We don't, and we will happily tell you the truth.

The idea of cutsie-poo titles is demeaning, disrespectful, and perfectly hideous.

TrixieJess

augsum15 said:

You guys might roll your eyes, but everyone has their own tastes. And if these themes and ideas for them reflect their style and personalities, let her call her bridesmaids mermaids! Seriously, at the end of the day as long as they are happy with their wedding their guests will be happy too. It's just a title.

I spent a really long time coming up with these 2 little booklets for our ceremony and reception. They were quirky, filled with fun facts, totally informal. Then I got worried people would think they were weird. So I quickly made up 2 formal programs. Straight forward, to the point, nothing silly. I showed them both to my sister and she said "honestly, go with the booklets. The programs are fine, but these booklets are way more you guys."

And guess what, they were awesome and all my guests loved them. If your friends and family love you guys, they're not gonna care if you call your bridesmaids mermaids and your groomsman super whatever's! At the end of the day everyone is there to support you and your FI on your wedding day. So I say have fun with it!

Boxboxbox. Where are the boxes?


My friends would think I was insane. Possibly because I don't normally treat them like small children. Hell I don't treat the small child that I have as childishly as this idea.

augsum15

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours.

There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.

I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.

If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.

She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.

And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

TrixieJess

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours.

There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.

I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.

If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.

She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.

And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour.

Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement.

You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory.

A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

100yroldblinddog

If I were a bridesmaid and you were calling me a mermaid, the groomsmen had better be mer-men. #feminism

Just kidding, I'm with PPs. This is a bad call. There will be lots of other places to personalize your day without a struggle.

augsum15

TrixieJess said:

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours.

There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.

I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.

If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.

She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.

And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour.

Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement.

You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory.

A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman.

If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.

knottie2b256f5c2ae42586

I think this is a silly idea. If a friend of mine were into it, I would pretend that it was ok, but wouldn't really like it.

Also, when will these titles be announced? It's not like they are going to be used over and over again throughout the night, so fretting over these unique titles seems like a waste of time. If you really want to do it, I would save worrying about it until it's closer to the wedding date or when you are doing your programs (if you're having them) so you know what titles to put in them.

FWIW, I would be WAY more honored to be a MOH or BM than a mermaid. In my head, I would think that I am not good enough to be an actual participant in your wedding ceremony. I think the cutesy names take away from the wedding party "role"

CMGragain

Weddings are for adults.  This idea is childish.

themosthappy91

I think this idea is far from hideous (I mean really people, it's relatively inoffensive), but I would also say that it's probably not the best idea.

You know, brides are in a tough place. We give them a hard time for picking ideas that are too cliche, we give them a hard time for trying too hard to be unique. I sympathize with the position OP is in, trying to come up with a way to set herself apart from the crowd.

BUT I think this is just not the right place to get creative. Maid of honor, bridesmaid etc are roles that carry a lot of meaning. Their function is to honor someone- not to serve as an outlet for self-expression. The more you try to personalize these roles, they more it looks like you are taking focus off of what they are supposed to be about.

So while your friends may very well go along with this idea if it's important to you, as both a bridal party member and a guest I would quietly think to myself that all the hubbub about making up personalized names was really just you pulling focus from the people you are trying to honor.

I think a much better way to go would be to write each of your BM's a letter about what "role" or special position she holds in your heart- the friend who you always want to share good news with first, the friend you know will set you straight if you need it etc. A much more special way to recognize their differences, IMO.

TrixieJess

augsum15 said:

TrixieJess said:

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours.

There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.

I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.

If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.

She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.

And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour.

Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement.

You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory.

A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman.

If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.

I am not insecure with seeing other people happy, I am an adult and would like to be treated as such.

Look, I have plenty of rainbow and unicorn loving friends, but would put my foot down at being referred to as a "mermaid", "unicorn", "pony" whatever, why can't you just refer to them as Bridesmaids and be done with it. Get off Pinterest and stop advocating childish ideas.

climbingsingle

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it's a free country! Someone can call their bridal party mermaids, and I am allowed to think that person hasn't matured past the age of 11. 

ShesSoCold

I'm not going as far as to think that weird mermaid BM titles would make guests uncomfortable, but I do think this OP is trying too hard to be cutesy. With little things like this, there's not much wrong with cutesy (or things like table names, cutesy garters, stuff like that) but when you have to come to an internet forum to help you come up with the cutesy, you're trying too hard. If you couldn't come up with this crap yourself, it feels forced and it's no longer funny or cute.

My family, H and I have very dry, snarky, asshole senses of humor. We used it here and there throughout the wedding and the planning. But I never had to ask someone to help me with it. Because then it would have gone from "me" and humorous to "bitch is trying way too hard to be funny and it ain't".  

PrettyGirlLost

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours. There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out. I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless. If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party. She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them. And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour. Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement. You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory. A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman. If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.

Are you familiar with the term fremdschamen?  It means to be embarrassed on behalf of another person who has embarrassed themselves but likely doesn't realize it.

The majority of people in this thread are indicating that at best they would experience fremdschamen on behalf of this couple and their wedding party when reading these silly titles in their wedding program, and at worst they would seriously roll their eyes at the immaturity of it all.

I'd be embarrassed for all involved not because i have any sort of personal insecurities- far from it.   It just seems juvenile and inappropriate for a wedding. . . unless the entire ceremony was truly off beat and the GMS were actually dressed like the Avengers and the BMs were actually dressed as Mermaids.  And then I'd just think that the BMs should have been superheroines too!

augsum15

TrixieJess said:

augsum15 said:

TrixieJess said:

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours.

There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out.

I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless.

If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party.

She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them.

And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour.

Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement.

You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory.

A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman.

If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.

I am not insecure with seeing other people happy, I am an adult and would like to be treated as such.

Look, I have plenty of rainbow and unicorn loving friends, but would put my foot down at being referred to as a "mermaid", "unicorn", "pony" whatever, why can't you just refer to them as Bridesmaids and be done with it. Get off Pinterest and stop advocating childish ideas.

I love unicorns too and right now I kinda wish I called all my BMs unicorn names just to prove if someone likes something their friends won't care and have fun with it because I know for a fact had I done that they would have gone along with it and loved every minute of it. In fact on multiple occasions it was asked if I was gonna incorporate anything. And who mentioned Pinterest? Anyways whatever, I'm entitled to my opinions just as you are yours. This is pointless. I hope she goes with her heart. Most people come on here not knowing what to expect, it's unfair when someone is instantly told their basically a 5 year old. But again, you're entitled to your opinion, and she obviously didn't know that coming on here would end up in her being told her ideas are stupid.

PrettyGirlLost

augsum15 said:

If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours. There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out. I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless. If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party. She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them. And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.

The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour. Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement. You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory. A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.

How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman. If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.

I am not insecure with seeing other people happy, I am an adult and would like to be treated as such. Look, I have plenty of rainbow and unicorn loving friends, but would put my foot down at being referred to as a "mermaid", "unicorn", "pony" whatever, why can't you just refer to them as Bridesmaids and be done with it. Get off Pinterest and stop advocating childish ideas.

I love unicorns too and right now I kinda wish I called all my BMs unicorn names just to prove if someone likes something their friends won't care and have fun with it because I know for a fact had I done that they would have gone along with it and loved every minute of it. In fact on multiple occasions it was asked if I was gonna incorporate anything. And who mentioned Pinterest? Anyways whatever, I'm entitled to my opinions just as you are yours. This is pointless. I hope she goes with her heart. Most people come on here not knowing what to expect, it's unfair when someone is instantly told their basically a 5 year old. But again, you're entitled to your opinion, and she obviously didn't know that coming on here would end up in her being told her ideas are stupid.

That's just not true.

There's a lot I'd endure for my friends and family that I'd go along with and yet it would still annoy me and I'd not say a word.  However, if they wanted to do something that made me feel uncomfortable or foolish in any way, I'd let them know that's how I felt.