Wedding Party

Unique Titles for each bridesmaid

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Re: Unique Titles for each bridesmaid

  • Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it.

    The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding.

    And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine.

    This is nonsense.
    JediElizabeth
  • augsum15 said:
    Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it. The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding. And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine. This is nonsense.
    The point is that if 20 people are telling the OP this is silly, and only you are telling her to go for it, maybe it's a little silly.  And if I'm one of six bridesmaids who are asked to be Mermaids, and I think it's silly, if the bride asks me, I'm probably not going to say anything.  "Oh, you want me to be 'Literary Mermaid'?  Sure, whatever, that's fine.  And Clare is going to be 'Mermaid of the Grapes'?  Cool.  Yeah."  But I'm not going to say anything to my friend, because she's clearly gone a little wedding-wacko and this silliness isn't hurting anyone.  But I'll be rolling my eyes behind my friend's back, which is clearly not nice, but certainly going to happen.  Because I'm 39 years old, not a 'tween.
    PrettyGirlLostlc07InLoveInQueens
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
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    augsum15 said:
    If she and her husband and their friends have similar tastes there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not her family I don't know her I think it's awesome. So that's me telling my truth. You're absolutely right in that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's you're opinion, this is mine. And she's allowed to take my opinion into account just as much as she's allowed to take yours. There's probably something about each and everyone one of your weddings, if I knew every detail, that I might roll my eyes to, and maybe not. But at the end of the day they are your weddings. Just as this is her wedding. And if these are her FRIENDS then they probably are already aware of their hobbies, interests, etc. And if they hate the idea so much they can back out. I would hope that even if their friends and family thought it was silly, they'd enjoy the day and have an amazing time regardless. If you hate the ocean and think boats are stupid, you'd probably roll your eyes at someone nautical themed wedding. They might have some classy ways of doing this up without it looking like a 5 year olds birthday party. She's not asking to dress everyone up like superheroes and mermaids, she's just giving a freaking name to each of them. And yeah if you wanna dress up like a clown to YOUR wedding. Go for it, I think the carnival theme is awesome too.
    The problem is, the majority of adults feel this is infantising behaviour. Look, I can be like a 12 year boy around my best friends but that doesn't mean I want them parading around in Spongebob Squarepants dresses for my amusement. You can have as casual a wedding as you want, but as soon as your do something that could possibly make your guests uncomfortable, you are stepping into bad etiquette territory. A number of women on here have said this is a bad idea. Stop advocating for something that will make other people uncomfortable.
    How is anyone uncomfortable? She's not parading them around in little mermaid dresses, so please don't put words in her mouth or mine. She's giving fun titles to people, she's not infantizing anyone. She's not putting colourful wigs on her BMs or giving capes to the groomsman. If that makes YOU uncomfortable then you obviously have insecure issues with yourself that prevent you from seeing other people be happy. I will give MY opinion all I want just as you will give yours. She doesn't have to listen to me, or you. But she deserves the right to get equal opinions from everybody and not just a negative impact on something she obviously cares for.
    I am not insecure with seeing other people happy, I am an adult and would like to be treated as such. Look, I have plenty of rainbow and unicorn loving friends, but would put my foot down at being referred to as a "mermaid", "unicorn", "pony" whatever, why can't you just refer to them as Bridesmaids and be done with it. Get off Pinterest and stop advocating childish ideas.
    I love unicorns too and right now I kinda wish I called all my BMs unicorn names just to prove if someone likes something their friends won't care and have fun with it because I know for a fact had I done that they would have gone along with it and loved every minute of it. In fact on multiple occasions it was asked if I was gonna incorporate anything. And who mentioned Pinterest? Anyways whatever, I'm entitled to my opinions just as you are yours. This is pointless. I hope she goes with her heart. Most people come on here not knowing what to expect, it's unfair when someone is instantly told their basically a 5 year old. But again, you're entitled to your opinion, and she obviously didn't know that coming on here would end up in her being told her ideas are stupid.
    And this is where the problem is. Sure, maybe the friends will grin and bear it, but that doesn't mean they'll enjoy it. The point of asking someone to stand up in your wedding is to honor the friendship. It is not to make them into a prop or a toy. You are not honoring anyone if the "honor" means the BM has to put up with some childish play game.

    Sure, you can say that your friends will suck it up and go along with most anything you want to do to them, but someone who cares about their friends would want to treat them with a little more dignity and respect than that. 

    I just don't understand what's so wrong with taking your wedding seriously. Why does everything have to big some elaborate joke? 
    Jen4948PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    augsum15 said:
    Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it. The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding. And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine. This is nonsense.
    You seem to not understand that the OP came here and posted this asking for opinions. She got them. 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • No I completely understand she came here looking for opinions. Which I gave her, my opinion. I didn't tell anyone their opinion is wrong, because it's just that, an opinion. I told her what I thought, and everyone else told her what they thought. And I will defend my opinion, for her.
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    Hello everyone!

    I am recently engaged & already have my wedding party picked out---just need to propose to them! :)  I didn't want to have a "maid of honor" because I didn't want to single out one person, plus all of my maids are pretty spread out from where I live.

    Since my fiancé & I are pretty non-traditional & are planning to have a fun/funky/unique wedding, we want our bridal parties to reflect the same.  Instead of groomsmen he is having Titles for them like "Super Man", "Iron Man", "Mega Man" etc.  I want my bridesmaids to be my Mer-maids (I've always loved mermaids) but want to give each a unique titles...like Mermaid of....  trying to come up with unique attributes for each lady or even going off of a theme like elements or jewels or something.  Anyone have other ideas?


    Thanks!!

    On top of what's already been said... I'm trying to think of how you can do this in a way that won't come off as silly and childish. Because, even if your friends are cool with this, your extended family, coworkers, whoever else you're inviting could look at this and go, "WTF?"

    If you have a really fun program and list the titles, that can work. Even DJ announcements, the titles could work, they'd make me smile as a guest. I definitely draw the line at costumes or themes for attire. I'm picturing sea-foam green dresses and that, combined with the mermaid thing, is over the top. 
    I also don't see mermaids and superheros as cohesive at all, and trying to get a theme going there for attire and other decor is likely to be a mess. 

    (And personal opinion, men being heroes and women being mermaids and not female heroes really rubs me the wrong way.) 
    ________________________________


    PrettyGirlLost100yroldblinddogTeddy917
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    augsum15 said:
    No I completely understand she came here looking for opinions. Which I gave her, my opinion. I didn't tell anyone their opinion is wrong, because it's just that, an opinion. I told her what I thought, and everyone else told her what they thought. And I will defend my opinion, for her.
    And no one said that your opinion is wrong either.

    What are we arguing about?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Actually yeah someone told me to stop being an advocate for her idea, so to me that comes off as someone telling me I'm wrong.

    And I agree with @thisismynickname, which is what I originally said, talk to everyone first make sure the WP is okay with it, and then come up with a way to make it work. Don't dress up in costume, etc etc. Or have everyone fall under one theme, but if they're okay with the original plan, go for it.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    augsum15 said:
    No I completely understand she came here looking for opinions. Which I gave her, my opinion. I didn't tell anyone their opinion is wrong, because it's just that, an opinion. I told her what I thought, and everyone else told her what they thought. And I will defend my opinion, for her.
    So what is your argument then? 

  • I just rolled my eyes so hard they fell out of my head. This comes off as cheesy and childish.
    I just spat my pizza out! Are they back in safely?
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    climbingwifePrettyGirlLost

  • augsum15 said:

    No I completely understand she came here looking for opinions. Which I gave her, my opinion. I didn't tell anyone their opinion is wrong, because it's just that, an opinion. I told her what I thought, and everyone else told her what they thought. And I will defend my opinion, for her.

    So what is your argument then? 

    Opinion.

    And I've stated my opinion more than enough.
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario
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    augsum15 said:
    augsum15 said:
    No I completely understand she came here looking for opinions. Which I gave her, my opinion. I didn't tell anyone their opinion is wrong, because it's just that, an opinion. I told her what I thought, and everyone else told her what they thought. And I will defend my opinion, for her.
    So what is your argument then? 
    Opinion. And I've stated my opinion more than enough.
    Well that's one thing we can all agree on...

    Formerly martha1818

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    levioosa[Deleted User]
  • augsum15 said:
    Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it. The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding. And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine. This is nonsense.
    I am sorry, but you are wrong.  There are rules.  It is called "etiquette".

    1.  Do not do anything that would make your guests uncomfortable or embarrassed.

    A wedding is the ceremony that unites two adults in the legal status of marriage.  It is not a party.  It does not celebrate their lives.

    If two people want to get married dressed up as clowns, mermaids, or superheros, then that is fine.  However, when they invite guests, they must then consider their guests feelings and their comfort level.  Enough people have vetoed the idea of the made-up titles for the OP to realize that some of her guests would be offended.  I am a church lady, and I am VERY offended by this idea, even though my two grown children still like Comic Con.
    A wedding is a serious event.  To trivialize it with the childish titles is offensive, both to religious and many non-religious people.
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth
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    edited November 2015
    CMGragain said:


    augsum15 said:

    Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it.

    The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding.

    And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine.

    This is nonsense.

    I am sorry, but you are wrong.  There are rules.  It is called "etiquette".

    1.  Do not do anything that would make your guests uncomfortable or embarrassed.

    A wedding is the ceremony that unites two adults in the legal status of marriage.  It is not a party.  It does not celebrate their lives.

    If two people want to get married dressed up as clowns, mermaids, or superheros, then that is fine.  However, when they invite guests, they must then consider their guests feelings and their comfort level.  Enough people have vetoed the idea of the made-up titles for the OP to realize that some of her guests would be offended.  I am a church lady, and I am VERY offended by this idea, even though my two grown children still like Comic Con.
    A wedding is a serious event.  To trivialize it with the childish titles is offensive, both to religious and many non-religious people.


    >>>>>>boxes<<<<<<

    I really don't think adding things that go against guest religion should be added to things we need to count as part of etiquette. I'm usually offended if forced to sit through a Christian prayer, but certainly wouldn't be at a wedding. Likewise, I don't care that my catholic family is disappointed that I'm not getting married in a church, or may be uncomfortable if I choose to have a handfasting.

    As long as a couple hosts their guests well (everyone gets a seat, not too hot or cold...), and don't outright insult their beliefs, I see no reason why personalization of a ceremony like this would be considered offensive. Silly, maybe - I was the first to argue that you need to know your crowd - but certainly not offensive.
    STARMOON44
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited November 2015
    You need to understand that it is offensive to many people.  I am a rather "liberal" church lady.
    (PS.  You are not expected to participate in Christian prayer at any wedding, or other church ceremony, if you are not a Christian.  Respectful silence is the proper thing to do.  My daughter was hand-fasted at her Methodist church ceremony.)
    The OP's idea of mermaid and superhero attendants, trivializes the wedding service, no matter what religion you practice.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    CMGr, I gotta say, that I think that seeing the word "mermaid" in a program or hearing the DJ say it when introducing the bridal party would offend a large portion of the guests, is quite a stretch. Offensive is pretty strong for something so small. She's not calling them sluts or bitches and yes, while immature and eye-roll worthy, being offended by this seems more like a personal problem, at least to me.

    That said, I do still think it's a dumb, immature idea and I would definitely roll my eyes at it, but to grasp my pearls, blurt out "well I never!" and huff out is ridiculous.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Jen4948[Deleted User]STARMOON44
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited November 2015
    Clutch!  Huff!  :)
    Honestly, I'm not that different from a lot of other people.  Would I make a scene?  Of course not.  Would I be offended?  Yes.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    CMGragain said:

    You need to understand that it is offensive to many people.  I am a rather "liberal" church lady.
    (PS.  You are not expected to participate in Christian prayer at any wedding, or other church ceremony, if you are not a Christian.  Respectful silence is the proper thing to do.  My daughter was hand-fasted at her Methodist church ceremony.)
    The OP's idea of mermaid and superhero attendants, trivializes the wedding service, no matter what religion you practice.

    Ok, this is just ridiculous. It's silly and childish to call them mermaids and superheroes, but in no way do I see how it's offensive.

    STARMOON44InLoveInQueens
  • adk19 said:
    augsum15 said:
    Yes and if anyone wants to scroll up a hundred posts and look at what I originally said, I did tell her she should discuss the idea with everyone just to make sure they're comfortable with it. The point I'm trying to make is she and her circle of friends are go to be different from yours or mine or anybody else on here. And I'm sure if enough people she talks to tell her they aren't comfortable with it she's not going to make them do it. But if her friends are on board with the idea and think it'll be fun, then who cares? Seriously. You're not going to her wedding. I'm not going to her wedding. And I'm sorry but a wedding is a party celebrating the life of 2 people. If those 2 people want to incorporate superheroes and mermaids, let them. People are getting way to hung up on the "rules" of weddings. There's no rules, really there aren't. There are things that are frowned upon in certain social circles that in other social circles are completely fine. This is nonsense.
    The point is that if 20 people are telling the OP this is silly, and only you are telling her to go for it, maybe it's a little silly.  And if I'm one of six bridesmaids who are asked to be Mermaids, and I think it's silly, if the bride asks me, I'm probably not going to say anything.  "Oh, you want me to be 'Literary Mermaid'?  Sure, whatever, that's fine.  And Clare is going to be 'Mermaid of the Grapes'?  Cool.  Yeah."  But I'm not going to say anything to my friend, because she's clearly gone a little wedding-wacko and this silliness isn't hurting anyone.  But I'll be rolling my eyes behind my friend's back, which is clearly not nice, but certainly going to happen.  Because I'm 39 years old, not a 'tween.
     
    Y'all realise:

    a) Mermaids are based on manatees; those sailors were REAL lonely out in the sea

    b) the Disneyfication of The Little Mermaid makes me VERY angry. Please remember that in the original story, she dies! She throws herself into the sea and becomes one with the waves.

    The more you know.
    [Deleted User]CMGragainJax43615lc07
  • Do you know what The Onion is? Your post reminded me of this Onion post:

    http://www.theonion.com/video/horrible-couple-really-wants-wedding-to-reflect-th-28924

    But you do you....
    *********************************************************************************

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    TrixieJessJen4948InLoveInQueenslnixon8
  • You need to understand that it is offensive to many people.  I am a rather "liberal" church lady.
    (PS.  You are not expected to participate in Christian prayer at any wedding, or other church ceremony, if you are not a Christian.  Respectful silence is the proper thing to do.  My daughter was hand-fasted at her Methodist church ceremony.)
    The OP's idea of mermaid and superhero attendants, trivializes the wedding service, no matter what religion you practice.
    Ok, this is just ridiculous. It's silly and childish to call them mermaids and superheroes, but in no way do I see how it's offensive.
    Yup, honestly anyone who is offended by this idea has got to be the type of person who just goes around looking for things to be offended about.

    Hosts are under absolutely NO obligation to ensure none of their guests are offended by any aspect of their wedding, because in this day and age (as we recently discussed on another thread) people are offended by everything and there is just no way to anticipate that some wackos out there aren't going to get offended over the stupidest thing... like the concept of mer-maids. 
    JediElizabethInLoveInQueens[Deleted User]
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia
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    Hey OP - another perspective. Based on your post it sounds like you may not even be into this yourself, but just trying to match what your FH has decided. If you're not comfortable with it for your attendants, don't worry about it. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I wouldn't say this idea is offensive, but I don't see how it would add anything to your wedding. It just seems like a gimmick and something else for you to worry about when you've got enough planning to do already.

    Also, mermaids and superheroes don't really have anything to do with each other. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLostJen4948
  • Even if you go with your titles, your officiant, your DJ, your photographer, your florist,  the store where the girls get their dresses and the place were the guys get their outfits are all going to refer to them as your bridemaids and groomsmen. Realize none of them will probably use the titles you are giving them. Just because you decide to have a fun non-traditional wedding, there are just somethings that people won't change. You can give the GM fun boxer shorts or ties with those characters on them.
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