Wedding Etiquette Forum

PSA: Put away your phones!!!!

I attended a wedding today where guests were either taking photos or texting during the ceremony. Texting, fine, I can accept that you were raised in a barn and no one taught you manners. But the guests (three of them) who jumped in the aisle to take photos, blocking the view of the professional photographer that the couple paid thousands to book, are just beyond inexcusable. What the hell is the matter with people? It's common courtesy to stay out of the damn aisle while the bride is walking down. Even the groom had to poke his head around them to see his bride walking. If this was my wedding, I would have been so furious with these people.
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Re: PSA: Put away your phones!!!!

  • Well that is plain rude, but I don't think it has anything to do with phones. Someone could jump in the aisle with a camera. Anyone jumping into the aisle after being seated and until excused (barring emergencies of course) is rude. 

    I find texting during the ceremony quite rude, but I also think we use our phones too much. But I see no problem with using a phone as a camera- what's the difference between a guest with a phone and a guest with a camera, taking a photo from their seat? 
  • Yes, it could be the same as camera, but it wasn't a regular camera and it was a phone, so I said put away your phones. I would have said the same had it been a camera.

    What's your point?
  • edited November 2015
    This is nothing new. People have been taking pictures at weddings with point and shoot cameras for years. I've seen people get into the aisle to take a picture well before camera phones existed. There will always be rude people that do rude things.
  • This isn't going to stop being a thing. The best you can do is make sure you hire a photographer who knows how to get the shots and then get over it yourself. There are bigger things in life to worry about.
  • edited November 2015

    Yes, it could be the same as camera, but it wasn't a regular camera and it was a phone, so I said put away your phones. I would have said the same had it been a camera.

    What's your point?

    The point is that this isn't a PHONE problem, it's a rude person problem, and telling people what to do is also rude and generally ineffective; people are going to do what they want to do.

    I'm not sure if you have an upcoming wedding or not but good advice to help prevent this issue is to have some kind of sash that drapes along the aisle-side of your rows of seating so there's a barrier between guests and the aisle.

    Edited because TK is weird on my phone and posted for me before I was done

  • edited November 2015
    Yes, it could be the same as camera, but it wasn't a regular camera and it was a phone, so I said put away your phones. I would have said the same had it been a camera.

    What's your point?
    The point is that this isn't a PHONE problem, it's a rude person problem, and telling people what to do is also rude and generally ineffective; people are going to do what they want to do. I'm not sure if you have an upcoming wedding or not but good advice to help prevent this issue is to have some kind of sash that drapes along the aisle-side of your rows of seating so there's a barrier between guests and the aisle. Edited because TK is weird on my phone and posted for me before I was done
    For goodness sakes, no one said it was a PHONE problem. Would it have made you happier had my post been titled "leave your cameras alone" when venting about PHONE photos? The point of my post was the rude behavior, not the device used. Some of you will find anything to nitpick at.

    And frankly, if people aren't adult enough to know not to do such things, then I think they need a reminder and sash that drape the aisle are the same as a reminder.
  • Yes, it could be the same as camera, but it wasn't a regular camera and it was a phone, so I said put away your phones. I would have said the same had it been a camera.

    What's your point?
    My point is, is that the rude behaviour is jumping into the aisle instead of staying in one's seat, not taking a photo, nor using a phone. It's a rude person problem, not a phone problem. One does not have to "put their phone away"- which is the title of your thread. 

    But I absolutely agree- stay out of the aisle! I would also think that common-sense, but apparently not. 

    If someone jumped in front of me in the aisle to take a photo while I was walking down, I'd like to think I'd give them a death glare which would tell them to sit back down ;). But remembering back to my wedding day, unless I was about to run into them, I probably wouldn't notice. 

    I also wouldn't be mad if my photographer told someone to sit down so they were out of her way. 
  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
  • edited November 2015



    Yes, it could be the same as camera, but it wasn't a regular camera and it was a phone, so I said put away your phones. I would have said the same had it been a camera.

    What's your point?
    The point is that this isn't a PHONE problem, it's a rude person problem, and telling people what to do is also rude and generally ineffective; people are going to do what they want to do.

    I'm not sure if you have an upcoming wedding or not but good advice to help prevent this issue is to have some kind of sash that drapes along the aisle-side of your rows of seating so there's a barrier between guests and the aisle.

    Edited because TK is weird on my phone and posted for me before I was done


    For goodness sakes, no one said it was a PHONE problem. Would it have made you happier had my post been titled "leave your cameras alone" when venting about PHONE photos? The point of my post was the rude behavior, not the device used. Some of you will find anything to nitpick at.

    And frankly, if people aren't adult enough to know not to do such things, then I think they need a reminder and sash that drape the aisle are the same as a reminder.


    FFS relax, your post was titled "put away your phones!!!" and we're all wrong for assuming you have a problem with phones at a wedding? Lol we're not nitpicking at anything. We're responding to the actual words YOU used in the subject of your post.

    Nobody here disagrees with you, the behaviors you mentioned in your OP are rude as hell, but we all know that rude people will do rude things no matter what and taking the "put your phones away!" (<- your words, not ours) approach isn't going to work.

    To answer your question, it would make me happier if you calmed down before interacting on a public forum.

    Edited to fix a sentence
  • So what you really meant was, "People, stay in your seats to take your pictures!!!!"
  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.

    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    The bride sure noticed today. She was livid because she couldn't see the groom's face until he poked his head around her cousin who was in the aisle. And I stand by my title. Put your damn phones down. If you can't live without your phone, whether it's for pictures or texts or an update on Twitter, for 20 minutes, you really need professional help.
  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.


  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.

    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.

    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.


    Then the photographer was an asshole.

    People do this all the time. Instead of being upset at it, work with it. I remember DH commenting that he didn't get to see me coming down the aisle but I found that it just made me more excited as I walked with my dad. The moment that we met one another was that much more special when I finally saw his face.

    If I saw my photographer get physical worth one of my guests we would have words.


  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.

    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.

    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.


    You are all over the place. How do you know exactly what the bride could see? How do you know she was pissed?
    You said it wasn't a phone issue but now it is? Get it together.
  • scribe95 said:
    The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    The bride sure noticed today. She was livid because she couldn't see the groom's face until he poked his head around her cousin who was in the aisle. And I stand by my title. Put your damn phones down. If you can't live without your phone, whether it's for pictures or texts or an update on Twitter, for 20 minutes, you really need professional help.
    Professional help? Wow way to overdramatize a few people stepping into the aisle. What they did was rude. But you are going overboard on shaming people for liking their phones. Jeez.
    Yep. If you can't leave your phone alone for 20 minutes, you need professional help. I stand by that.
  • banana468 said:
    The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.
    Then the photographer was an asshole. People do this all the time. Instead of being upset at it, work with it. I remember DH commenting that he didn't get to see me coming down the aisle but I found that it just made me more excited as I walked with my dad. The moment that we met one another was that much more special when I finally saw his face. If I saw my photographer get physical worth one of my guests we would have words.
    When I pay my photographer thousands of dollars for photos, I expect him to get around asshole guests who get in front of him, even if it means nudging them to the side.
  • The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.
    You are all over the place. How do you know exactly what the bride could see? How do you know she was pissed? You said it wasn't a phone issue but now it is? Get it together.
    How do I know? Because the bride is one of my best friends. It's not like I just heard about this story third hand. I was there and it was my friend's wedding. That's how I know.
  • edited November 2015
    Kind of spinning off from this topic but I do find one wedding experience that I personally found much different from what the general consensus on these boards is how many now-wives say they didn't notice anything but their SO's on their wedding days- I sure as heck noticed basically everything going on! I noticed people on their phones, a fussing kid in the audience, mild drama going on at the reception (nothing big)... none of it remotely upset me but I did notice it and I don't think it's really accurate to say brides will be oblivious to everything but the glowing face of their intended.

    For a lot of people nerves etc. makes them hyper-aware of what's going on around them, and I guess it just kind of feels belittling when it comes across as like, if you aren't zoned out to every possible distraction you aren't "in the moment" or swept up in the romance of your wedding day enough... sort of the exact same way brides belittle their guests by demanding they be "in the moment" and not on their phones!

    ETA: Oh yeah and any photographer that got physical with one of my guests at the ceremony would be fired about .5 seconds after I said "I do."
  • banana468 said:
    The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.
    Then the photographer was an asshole. People do this all the time. Instead of being upset at it, work with it. I remember DH commenting that he didn't get to see me coming down the aisle but I found that it just made me more excited as I walked with my dad. The moment that we met one another was that much more special when I finally saw his face. If I saw my photographer get physical worth one of my guests we would have words.
    When I pay my photographer thousands of dollars for photos, I expect him to get around asshole guests who get in front of him, even if it means nudging them to the side.
    So if a guest files a lawsuit against your photographer for shoving someone, will you cover the legal costs?

    Serioulsy, OP ... chill out.  People are going to do stupid, rude stuff.  If someone is going to take out their phone for a pic during a wedding, a whiny rant like this isn't going to make them change their minds.  
  • scribe95 said:

    Professional help? Wow way to overdramatize a few people stepping into the aisle. What they did was rude. But you are going overboard on shaming people for liking their phones. Jeez.
    Yep. If you can't leave your phone alone for 20 minutes, you need professional help. I stand by that.

  • How long were these three people standing in the aisle? I have a hard time believing that the bride's view was completely blocked for such a long period of time that she noticed it AND was angry. And then relayed the story to you.

    When you're walking down the aisle, you're focused on so many things. And not one of those things are the guests seated in the aisles.
  • banana468 said:
    The title of your post is put away your phones. Not cameras. And if it was your wedding, you'd barely even notice.
    This. It's quite possible someone leaned into the aisle to take a pic when I walked in. I would've never known. All I remember seeing was the look on my husband's face. DH's crazy uncle walked up the aisle as the bridal party processed in. It didn't ruin any of the pics from the professional photographer.
    Then your wedding wasn't like this wedding, because the bride today couldn't even see her groom's face. And I would bet it did ruin some of the shots because the photographer was pissed too and ended up pushing aside one of the ladies who stood up so he could get his shot.
    Then the photographer was an asshole. People do this all the time. Instead of being upset at it, work with it. I remember DH commenting that he didn't get to see me coming down the aisle but I found that it just made me more excited as I walked with my dad. The moment that we met one another was that much more special when I finally saw his face. If I saw my photographer get physical worth one of my guests we would have words.
    When I pay my photographer thousands of dollars for photos, I expect him to get around asshole guests who get in front of him, even if it means nudging them to the side.
    So if a guest files a lawsuit against your photographer for shoving someone, will you cover the legal costs?

    Serioulsy, OP ... chill out.  People are going to do stupid, rude stuff.  If someone is going to take out their phone for a pic during a wedding, a whiny rant like this isn't going to make them change their minds.  
    He didn't shove her. He nudged her to get by her.

    And there are literally hundreds of posts here with people giving advice. So while you consider it a whiny rant, I consider it an acceptable PSA on poor etiquette, like 90% of the other posts on this forum.
  • How long were these three people standing in the aisle? I have a hard time believing that the bride's view was completely blocked for such a long period of time that she noticed it AND was angry. And then relayed the story to you. When you're walking down the aisle, you're focused on so many things. And not one of those things are the guests seated in the aisles.

    Let me rephrase that for you: when YOU were walking down the aisle, YOU were focused on so many things and not one of those things were guests seated in the aisles. Don't assume that your experience is the same as everyone else's.

    They jumped up from the moment the MOH was walking and one got out of the way as soon as someone from the seat beside her, waved her back in, another moved out of the way as the bride passed her, and another didn't sit down until the bride at the altar. The one who didn't sit down until the bride was at the altar is the one the photographer nudged to get around to get the photo of the bride with her father.


  • How long were these three people standing in the aisle? I have a hard time believing that the bride's view was completely blocked for such a long period of time that she noticed it AND was angry. And then relayed the story to you.

    When you're walking down the aisle, you're focused on so many things. And not one of those things are the guests seated in the aisles.

    Let me rephrase that for you: when YOU were walking down the aisle, YOU were focused on so many things and not one of those things were guests seated in the aisles. Don't assume that your experience is the same as everyone else's.

    They jumped up from the moment the MOH was walking and one got out of the way as soon as someone from the seat beside her, waved her back in, another moved out of the way as the bride passed her, and another didn't sit down until the bride at the altar. The one who didn't sit down until the bride was at the altar is the one the photographer nudged to get around to get the photo of the bride with her father.


    I'm willing to bet 90% of the already married women on this forum agree with me. Are you married? Have you walked down an aisle?
  • How long were these three people standing in the aisle? I have a hard time believing that the bride's view was completely blocked for such a long period of time that she noticed it AND was angry. And then relayed the story to you. When you're walking down the aisle, you're focused on so many things. And not one of those things are the guests seated in the aisles.

    Let me rephrase that for you: when YOU were walking down the aisle, YOU were focused on so many things and not one of those things were guests seated in the aisles. Don't assume that your experience is the same as everyone else's.

    They jumped up from the moment the MOH was walking and one got out of the way as soon as someone from the seat beside her, waved her back in, another moved out of the way as the bride passed her, and another didn't sit down until the bride at the altar. The one who didn't sit down until the bride was at the altar is the one the photographer nudged to get around to get the photo of the bride with her father.
    I'm willing to bet 90% of the already married women on this forum agree with me. Are you married? Have you walked down an aisle?
    No, I haven't, but that doesn't mean I haven't heard from others who have, including a poster in this very thread who said she noticed everything going on around her.
  • If the bride is one of your best friends, why didn't she ask you to be a bridesmaid? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • So let me get this straight. ... this woman got married yesterday and today she's bitching to you about this?   Yeah,  a few things at my wedding bugged me ... the next day I was too busy being married to think about it,  let alone complain to someone. 
  • AddieCake said:
    If the bride is one of your best friends, why didn't she ask you to be a bridesmaid? 
    Um, what? Does one have to ask you to be a bridesmaid to be considered one of your best friends? Is that like a rule or something? She has three sisters and they were her bridesmaids. One was her MOH.
  • So let me get this straight. ... this woman got married yesterday and today she's bitching to you about this?   Yeah,  a few things at my wedding bugged me ... the next day I was too busy being married to think about it,  let alone complain to someone. 
    And? Posts like yours and climbingwife crack me up. How self-centered do you have to be to assume that the way you did things is the way 100% of the world does/should do them?
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