Today at work my supervisor was taking the head count for the annual holiday party next week and was asking each employee if they plan to bring someone. Naturally, several people asked who they were allowed to bring. She said, "[Boss] says you can bring the person you would introduce to your parents as your significant other, not the guy or girl you meet this weekend and would like to have a second date with on [Boss's] dime.... unless you're ready to bring them home to mom and dad that quick, Khloe-and-Lamar style."
As much debate as there is surrounding how people determine who's good enough to get invited to Their Special Day, I actually thought this wasn't the worst way to make that determination. It puts the responsibility to define the relationship on the guest, not the host, without really putting any restraints on it other than 'how would you introduce this person to your family?'.
What do you think, is this an appropriate way for my Boss to decide who gets to bring someone to the party? Side note: it's far preferable to me than the no-ring-no-bring-and-no-bring-if-I-hate-your-spouse-regardless-of-ring policy my old boss followed
Re: NWR (well, perhaps): How to determine what a "significant other" is
Boss = paying for work function = Boss who signs your paycheck at the end of each pay period determines who is invited... It's a work/business etiquette type thing, not the same rules that would apply to a wedding..
A significant other is someone who you would introduce to your friends as your gf or bf.
Maybe you haven't brought this person home to meet your parents yet, but you would introduce this person to your friends as your gf or bf.
I do agree with the "not a person you want a second date with"- that to me is DATING, which is different than a significant other. While dating, one is not committed to any one other person and may potentially go on multiple dates with multiple people.
For wedding I'm a fan of just giving everyone a plus one (or SO if you know they are a true SO). That way I don't have to guess. I don't have to ask. All my guest got the choice. 90% of my true single didn't bring one anyway.
Either way, I was just wondering if his method of deciding what a significant other is with respect to who gets invited with one is a fair test vs. the typical dating at least 1 year/living together/I've met them already/etc we read on here so often
That said, I agree with what your supervisor is saying, but not how she said it. I would've never thought to bring a fling to the company holiday party. I've been to plenty of them over the years, and some of the ones I've been to were black tie. Work was not discussed, but people still took note of things. I might have gotten away with bringing a fling when I went to company parties where there were a few hundred people there, but I wouldn't try it.
A boss-employee relationship is different than a friendship. I would not advise telling your friends their relationships only count as significant if they have "met the parents" or met some other arbitrary benchmark of seriousness.
It would have been perfectly sufficient to say "bring the date if it's your girl/boyfriend, but please don't ask a date if you aren't seeing anyone."
I'll be honest, though, I've never been to a company party where singles weren't invited with a plus one (except a Friday lunch where no s/o's were invited). DH took me to his holiday party after we'd been dating for 2 months. I hadn't yet met his mother and wasn't ready to.
Did you even read the post?
Our firm is staffed by a lot of college-aged paralegals who are either in law school or preparing to go to law school, sounds similar to Jedi's former workplace, and I guess that means sometimes you get that one employee who just isn't mature enough to have some sense about dress codes and such.
Also, @LD1970, I have zero intentions of getting anywhere near drunk for the very reasons you described. After everything I've heard about this holiday party (there is an annual roast of one of the attorneys, apparently?) I think it's going to be awesome to attend but I'd like to remember all the details come next Monday lol
No one should be placing their own arbitrary rules on what it means to be a "significant other" vs. just a random date. It's different for everyone.
To me, that applies to both a business situation or a social situation (like a wedding).