Tips!

HAGGSTOBE314

So I don't believe in being "too busy" for my SO.

What are some ways that you guys get that extra day in or few hours to spend with your SO while having busy lifestyles.

I love getting information from women who are already married or have been in long lasting relationships. I feel as though you are doing something right.

Any Tips ??

thisismynickname2

Well let's see... When DH and I were both in grad school and working full time, we also commuted to and from work together. But I have to say, I like my alone time, and so does he. We're not terribly busy people these days aside from work so we definitely see enough of each other. 

My best friend's husband works 12-hour days and most weekends during the school year (teacher and coaching sports) so they block off every Sunday to exclusively hang out together. They've been together over 10 years now. 

I think it's very personal to each couple how much alone time they like and how much couple time is enough for them. Sometimes I joke to DH that I didn't get married to have a conjoined twin, so I'm perfectly happy with him taking trips with his family or his buddies and leaving me to do my own thing, or vice versa, for example. 

lyndausvi

Like I said in another thread DH works most nights and weekends.  Summer time he works every day 10-14 hours.    Neither one of us has set hours.  WE live 3 miles from his work.  I work from home.

We grab time when we can.  DH might go in later and I will take an hour off in the morning to grab some breakfast.  

Sometimes DH will leave work between the lunch and dinner shift and will will just hang out or go grocery shopping.  

Sometimes he finds he is slow and will pop in at home for lunch.   

Sometimes on Fridays I will pick him up after work and grab a cocktail.

We try and be flexible.   It's hard for him to say days out he can do something, but when the opportunity does come up we take advantage of it.  Even if that means we are just running to Target, we will do it together.  Which in our case Target is 29 miles away, so we get a nice car ride to just talk.

HAGGSTOBE314

thisismynickname said:

Well let's see... When DH and I were both in grad school and working full time, we also commuted to and from work together. But I have to say, I like my alone time, and so does he. We're not terribly busy people these days aside from work so we definitely see enough of each other. 

My best friend's husband works 12-hour days and most weekends during the school year (teacher and coaching sports) so they block off every Sunday to exclusively hang out together. They've been together over 10 years now. 

I think it's very personal to each couple how much alone time they like and how much couple time is enough for them. Sometimes I joke to DH that I didn't get married to have a conjoined twin, so I'm perfectly happy with him taking trips with his family or his buddies and leaving me to do my own thing, or vice versa, for example. 

Wow! Your best friend's husband sounds a lot like myself. All my days are 12 hour days but I'm lucky to get 3 days off a week. The down side to that is my SO always has to work on the days I am off. Mainly because right now she is working 3 jobs! She is off majority of weekends in the month but I am never off on weekends , I work every weekend every month. Partially because of the job path I am on , requesting a weekend off is like asking for a million bucks in cash to them. A part of me wants to sit down with my boss and request that I have at least every Sunday off or a day during the week that she can request as well. 


I just feel like the pace we are going, we are going to be that awkward couple who has nothing to talk about except work when we finally get together. And I do NOT want that to happen. When we met I was doing something totally different and we had no problem finding time to do things. But now, I see her in bed at night and in bed in the morning. That's it.

HAGGSTOBE314

lyndausvi said:

Like I said in another thread DH works most nights and weekends.  Summer time he works every day 10-14 hours.    Neither one of us has set hours.  WE live 3 miles from his work.  I work from home.

We grab time when we can.  DH might go in later and I will take an hour off in the morning to grab some breakfast.  

Sometimes DH will leave work between the lunch and dinner shift and will will just hang out or go grocery shopping.  

Sometimes he finds he is slow and will pop in at home for lunch.   

Sometimes on Fridays I will pick him up after work and grab a cocktail.

We try and be flexible.   It's hard for him to say days out he can do something, but when the opportunity does come up we take advantage of it.  Even if that means we are just running to Target, we will do it together.  Which in our case Target is 29 miles away, so we get a nice car ride to just talk.

She does every now and then pop up at my job and we ride home together or we stop by a restaurant on the way home. And sometimes she will tell me to meet her somewhere in between her going from job a to job b , like last week it was a Starbucks date. And I was the happiest person alive. We only had a hour but I felt like we were dating again and it made my heart warm.

I guess we have to figure out what really works for us and just take it from there. 

thefanciestbeckler

I understand this. DH and I have had completely different schedules pretty much since day 1. To top it off, 2 months after we got engaged he started school in Atlanta, which is 2 1/2 hours away from here. Even now, his off days are not the same as mine. You just have to be creative and make time for one another. This is a lesson DH and I have had to learn tenfold. Whether it's a Starbucks date like you mentioned or just having a 10 minute face to face conversation with no distractions, you can always find ways to nourish that relationship. Be sensitive to each others' needs, and sometimes choose you SO over whatever your plans (and vice versa). Of course you can't bail on work, but you know what I mean

kimmiinthemitten

We do different things in the same space. For example, we both have jobs that require a lot of work from home after hours. Instead of separating we each do our own thing in the same space. Or during his busy seasons if he wants to play a video game, I'll read on the sofa of the same room.

We may not be doing the same thing but it's nice to share the same space.

spockforprez

When I moved here I worked nights and FH worked days. He woke me up at 6am to kiss me goodbye and I woke him up at 1am to kiss him hello. Otherwise the only times we spent time together were Sundays and Monday nights. It was the pits for us. We really enjoy spending time together, especially going to bed at the same time and sleeping next to one another. I moved to a day shift and as much as my night owl self hates it, I wouldn't change back.

HAGGSTOBE314

kimmiinthemitten said:

We do different things in the same space. For example, we both have jobs that require a lot of work from home after hours. Instead of separating we each do our own thing in the same space. Or during his busy seasons if he wants to play a video game, I'll read on the sofa of the same room. We may not be doing the same thing but it's nice to share the same space.

I have never thought of it that way ! That's a really good idea. 

HAGGSTOBE314

thefanciestbeckler said:

I understand this. DH and I have had completely different schedules pretty much since day 1. To top it off, 2 months after we got engaged he started school in Atlanta, which is 2 1/2 hours away from here. Even now, his off days are not the same as mine. You just have to be creative and make time for one another. This is a lesson DH and I have had to learn tenfold. Whether it's a Starbucks date like you mentioned or just having a 10 minute face to face conversation with no distractions, you can always find ways to nourish that relationship. Be sensitive to each others' needs, and sometimes choose you SO over whatever your plans (and vice versa). Of course you can't bail on work, but you know what I mean

So do you think its worth mentioning? Like at least one set day off? Or no?

HAGGSTOBE314

spockforprez said:

When I moved here I worked nights and FH worked days. He woke me up at 6am to kiss me goodbye and I woke him up at 1am to kiss him hello. Otherwise the only times we spent time together were Sundays and Monday nights. It was the pits for us. We really enjoy spending time together, especially going to bed at the same time and sleeping next to one another. I moved to a day shift and as much as my night owl self hates it, I wouldn't change back.

That's how I feel now. I kiss her bye and she kisses me hello! I try some nights to wait up but my body is so tired I fall asleep without warning sometimes. 

madamerwin

spockforprez said:

When I moved here I worked nights and FH worked days. He woke me up at 6am to kiss me goodbye and I woke him up at 1am to kiss him hello. Otherwise the only times we spent time together were Sundays and Monday nights. It was the pits for us. We really enjoy spending time together, especially going to bed at the same time and sleeping next to one another. I moved to a day shift and as much as my night owl self hates it, I wouldn't change back.

Yeah, I feel you on this... I work "normal" hours Monday-Friday, but H works either three 12-hour shifts or four 11-hour shifts each week, and one of those days is always a weekend day. He leaves for work before I wake up and often gets home after me. He is in bed at 8pm on work nights, so most weeknights we get maybe 2 hours together. Then, on his weekends, I go to bed before him and leave for work before he is up, so we rarely go to bed at the same time. I really don't like it, but that's just how it is. He loves his schedule, so that really helps.

We don't really have a problem making time for each other, since we are both homebodies and prefer each other's company to that of others' (most of the time). And whichever weekend day we both have off, we spend together (currently Sundays, which are football and lounge day). It is kind of nice, though, that we each have a day or two off alone to do our own things. I definitely prefer our setup to him working graveyards like he used to - we almost never saw each other then.

thefanciestbeckler

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

I understand this. DH and I have had completely different schedules pretty much since day 1. To top it off, 2 months after we got engaged he started school in Atlanta, which is 2 1/2 hours away from here. Even now, his off days are not the same as mine. You just have to be creative and make time for one another. This is a lesson DH and I have had to learn tenfold. Whether it's a Starbucks date like you mentioned or just having a 10 minute face to face conversation with no distractions, you can always find ways to nourish that relationship. Be sensitive to each others' needs, and sometimes choose you SO over whatever your plans (and vice versa). Of course you can't bail on work, but you know what I mean

So do you think its worth mentioning? Like at least one set day off? Or no?

Let me ask you this. Would it be frowned upon in your work place? What about hers? Is this a temporary arrangement as far as schedules go? For DH and I, it always helped if we could see the light at the end of the tunnel (for example, once he gets a good pilot job he will have weeks at a time off).

HAGGSTOBE314

thefanciestbeckler said:

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

I understand this. DH and I have had completely different schedules pretty much since day 1. To top it off, 2 months after we got engaged he started school in Atlanta, which is 2 1/2 hours away from here. Even now, his off days are not the same as mine. You just have to be creative and make time for one another. This is a lesson DH and I have had to learn tenfold. Whether it's a Starbucks date like you mentioned or just having a 10 minute face to face conversation with no distractions, you can always find ways to nourish that relationship. Be sensitive to each others' needs, and sometimes choose you SO over whatever your plans (and vice versa). Of course you can't bail on work, but you know what I mean

So do you think its worth mentioning? Like at least one set day off? Or no?

Let me ask you this. Would it be frowned upon in your work place? What about hers? Is this a temporary arrangement as far as schedules go? For DH and I, it always helped if we could see the light at the end of the tunnel (for example, once he gets a good pilot job he will have weeks at a time off).

It's not so much frowned upon but I'm a CSA & we have busy weekends sometimes but sometimes we are really slow. There are people in the office who have a set day off like Sunday and it's a problem. I can say though it is temporary sort of because come towards the end of Feb I'll be able to work from home.

ericasm0703

FI and I are both in public service so we have some crazy schedules. I work a 24 hour shift then have 3 days off; he rotates between day, evening and night shift and has the screwiest schedule (I'm still working on trying to figure out his rotations). Thankfully since he transferred to another department a few months ago, it's a lot easier for him to get time off, and he doesn't get drafted for overtime every shift. Right now FI is on day shift and goes to bed extremely early, but I'd rather lay in bed with him and talk or watch tv than not spend any time with him when he comes home.

We do separate things together; yesterday he pulled all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic for me and then played video games while I started getting some of the decorations up. Sometimes he plays video games while I read a book or video chat with my friends who have moved overseas. I never really played video games growing up, but there are times where he lets me play with him and thankfully he doesn't get frustrated with my lack of skill. We also like to do day trips (hiking, Washington D.C., park, etc.); he took the day off tomorrow so we could go to D.C. to watch the Army band's holiday concert. At the same time, I don't need a second shadow, so we do spend plenty of time apart as well.

drunkenwitch

You titled this thread tips...where's my money?

JaniV123

kimmiinthemitten said:

We do different things in the same space. For example, we both have jobs that require a lot of work from home after hours. Instead of separating we each do our own thing in the same space. Or during his busy seasons if he wants to play a video game, I'll read on the sofa of the same room. We may not be doing the same thing but it's nice to share the same space.

we do this too, he lounges and relaxes while I sit next to him studying. Usually if I go to the bedroom to change scene/position I will tell him and he will come to bed too and doh is own thing. We usually shower together, and that is our time, as well as eating together (except the days he get off work super late and I am starving). We also have a "show" we watch together. ATM it is House, MD but we are almost done. 

HAGGSTOBE314

drunkenwitch said:

You titled this thread tips...where's my money?

HA !!

You haven't given any so you can't get any !! Lol

drunkenwitch

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

drunkenwitch said:

You titled this thread tips...where's my money?

HA !!

You haven't given any so you can't get any !! Lol

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