H and I just got invited to a friend's August wedding that is in a very rural location. Because of limited hotel space the bride and groom decided who gets to stay in hotels and who has to rent houses. We were part of the lucky group that was "chosen" to stay in a house, this house is not nice, it does not have air conditioning, (it also means a security deposit, requires cleaning, and us bringing food, sheets, towels etc.) and is more than double the price of the hotels. When H told his friend we simply cannot afford the house and would need to stay in a hotel he flipped. It has been over a month since they have spoken and the groom has been running his mouth about us since. I would like to politely decline this wedding.
Re: Had to Share
This is weird and I have so many questions!
1. Are you supposed to share the house with anyone else? If yes, how were those other people chosen.
2. What happens if you end up not being able to attend? Does that screw other people who were going to stay in the house into paying more?
3. Why politely decline? An invitation is not a subpoena, just send back the RSVP with a no. But, this G sounds like a jackass for running his mouth about you. If I were your H, we'd be having words.
4. How were you all supposed to pay for the house? Directly to the B&G or to the homeowner?
What kind of person required guests to stay somewhere?
Send back the RSVP card with "No." You know he's running his mouth, which is terribly rude; if any other friends confront you both the simple answer is, "Regrettably we can't make it. Hope everyone has a great time! Have you tried the bean dip?"
Totally agree with Banana. If I were you I'd get in touch with the other couples "assigned" to that house and all agree to decline together.
I can get a luxury hotel suite in Chicago for that price. I would be declining this housing arrangement so fast and reconsider my friendship. Presumptuous much??
A beach house in Avalon NJ (rich area) peak of summer for a week can run $10,000 and it sleeps 9 people. So that brings the costs to about $158 per night per person.
"Your" place must be one hell of a place for that kind of money.
I've rented houses at the beach or cabins in remote areas before where I had to bring my own linens and food. So that part doesn't bother me too much. But again it's depends on the place and location.
However, I've CHOSEN on my own to rent those places. I wasn't TOLD. That is the big difference.
I can't believe they are running their mouths about you. I would no longer be friends with these people if that were the case. Chances are a lot of the "house rental guests" will be feeling similar.
He is reserving rooms for the caterers?????
Yea - sounds like a decline and a toaster shipped is the way to go... The groom needs to be put in his place because he didn't consult people before making these decisions for others who may or may not be able to attend. It's not like someone is in the WP and they're paying for the house they'll be staying and turning them down because you want a place with AC to stay at for 1/4 the price..
For $560 I expect at least 4-5 nights in a hotel with continental or hot breakfast, Heat/AC, door to the hallway, and a pool... Honestly, I'd drive an hour each way to the nearest hotel in my budget. His lack of planning doesn't equal your requirement to use someplace you truly can't afford!!!
Sounds a bit BSC to say the least...
Hell to the no. No thanks to spending my money on shitty accommodations, no thanks to assuming I want to play college dorm room when traveling to a wedding as an adult, no thinks to the Groom being an all around dick. No thanks to this wedding and friendship.
Bye, Felicia.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I'd straight up decline, personally.
Otherwise, see if there are any hotels less than an hour away and stay at one of those; leave the reception early if need be.
Alternatively see if you can secure your own house/cabin rental in the area, possibly going in on it with other friends who you'd otherwise be sharing the backwoods hell hole with. There could be better stuff out there. The realtor may just be milking this for all its worth... a place that she normally has trouble renting out where she'd get a great commission, with a rude couple that are happy to spend other people's money and are too lazy to look into something better.
If you do end up going and spending way more than you should (don't do it!) then I'd be supplementing it with any money you had budgeted for a wedding gift. Card only.
1) Based on the way they're planning, I don't see it being executed all that well. And I'm not one to want to be forced into being treated poorly at my own expense.
2) If I'm not submitting an expense report for my stay then I won't be told where I'm staying.
I would absolutely decline to attend, and strongly consider ending the friendship.
The B&G have NO right to tell guests where they will be staying, how long, and how much they need to pay.
While some couples may offer accommodations- it is just that, an offer, and any budget needs to be cleared with the guests first- not dictated.
The fact that the Groom had such a hissy fit would make me not want to stay friends with this person. How can he think it OK for someone to spend $560-650?
Geeeeez..... talk about poor life skills.
If I were in your situation, OP, I'd decline the wedding and cut this couple out of your lives. Anyone who would talk trash about a friend because they can't afford ridiculously priced accommodations doesn't deserve your friendship.