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Changing name
Is there a time frame to start the process? Also, people that either kept maiden name and married name or hyphenated their names, what's the difference or benefits of each? If I hyphenate do I still have to change name on my existing bank account? Sorry for sounding dumb
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Re: Changing name
If your name is legally hyphenated, then yes you have to change your name on things like your bank account. If you are only doing it socially, then you do not.
What the first step depends on your location. I had to get my social security changed before I could do my DMV. I couldn't do other things like bank until the SS and DMV were done.
I made my last name a second middle name.
Don't know where you live but when you pick a day to go to the dmv check public school closures. I'm a teacher so I thought I was super smart going on Yom Kippur so I wouldn't have to take a day off. I saw over 20 of my students trying to get their drivers license and was there for more than 8 hours. SS isn't bad but must be done first.
I went to SS office early in the morning and only waited about 40 minutes. They gave me a receipt that the DMV accepts. Went to DMV express, got license in 10 minutes. Went to the bank and not only changed my name, but also opened a new joint account with DH (he met me at the bank on lunch).
Then, I mailed off my passport name change; they only needed my old passport and marriage certificate, which they mailed back pretty quickly (2 weeks?). I didn't like that they wanted the original marriage certificate and not a copy, but, like I said, they returned it quickly.
Work needed my marriage certificate to change that info; it rolled into changing my insurance too (sweet). My airline mileage accounts needed either my DL or marriage certificate photocopy. Credit cards accepted copies of my new DL.
There are several threads about name changes I believe over in Customs and Traditions. For me, I don't have "a name" in my field, and I simply enjoy the appearance of a family unit by being "Mr and Mrs OneLastName." This is a very personal decision that you must make for yourself. (Part of my personal reasoning was that my married name is far easier to spell and pronounce than my maiden name. I've always wanted to change it!)
And banks - they all have different procedures for changing your name. I was able to do it over the phone with one credit card, online with another, and I had to go in to Wells Fargo for my checking and savings accounts. I still need to go in to BofA to update a different credit card, and I haven't updated my passport yet.
Where I live (Oregon), you have to choose what your new name will be when you apply for a marriage license, and changing your mind after the fact is a pain in the ass... My sister (in CA) thought that she could just put her maiden name as middle and H's last name as her new last name and then choose whether to hyphenate it later, but she cannot do that without amending the marriage license (which I know she will never do). So depending on where you live, you might have to stick to what you put on the marriage license unless you go through the process of amending it.
I chose to drop my middle name and replace it with my maiden name, since I never really liked my middle name anyway. So now my name is First MaidenName H's LastName. Benefit? I got rid of a middle name I did not like, and got to keep a connection with my maiden name (which I do like), but still got to take H's name - which was important to me.
I filled that out on my certificate in NY, but since it was the same, I don't know if that's the only thing I could have used. I do know that up until recently you couldn't just change your middle name with a marriage certificate either, you had to do a legal name change with a judge. I think that just changed, though - as it's clearly a huge waste of the court's time!
Here in CO, I had to go to the social security office one day, and then they required me to wait 24 hours before going to the DMV. I went to SS and waited by the door before they open to be the first one in. Also hate to say it, but I went to one in a fancier area as the main patrons there were senior citizens who had appointments (SS appointments get booked about 3 months out around here) versus everyone else who needed to get something done quickly (like me). I saw one teenager there, and then another girl doing a name change. Rest were seniors.
For the DMV, they let me make an appointment online that saved A TON of time. Ended up only taking about an hour and a half including drive time to get there because I had an appointment. Longest wait was to get my picture taken since I had to get in line w/ everyone else.
Then once all that was done I took my new ID and went and started doing the rest of the changes. I found it helpful to scan a copy of the marriage license, my new DL, and my new SS card and keep it on my computer (not the most secure, I know...), because everywhere has so many different requirements for documentation. One of my student loans just let me upload the required documents via a secure portal on their site, but my car loan required me to fax in the paperwork.
Speaking of my car, my county wouldn't change the registration until I did the loan. So I had to do the loan, then wait for a letter in the mail saying it was done, and now I have to take that letter down to the registration office to get the registration changed. Haven't done that yet.
There were also a few things I sort of forgot about until it became a problem. For example, the auto pays that come from the account where I changed the name, stopped working. So I had to go back in and change my name for even dumb stuff, like our milk delivery, or for the highway toll company. I keep a running google doc of everything I need to change it on so I can "write" it down when I think about it even if I don't have time to do it right then and there. I still have to do one of my bank accounts, and am working on all my professional licensing. Also need to do airlines.
I found out that it was complicated when I was previously engaged in 2007. I guess it was a DMV policy here until 2014 according to this article.
http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/David-Buchwald/story/56498/
I think you might have to go through a legal name change if you aren't using one of you or your spouses current last names. Also, some states only allow the woman to change her name, not the man. If the man wants to change his name he has to go through a legal name change. (My state allows either party to change their name, but they were also the first state to allow gay marriage).
In Mass you put what your married name will be (I kept my name, so it was the same as my current name) but I think I can always change it if I wanted to as long as I change it to my husband's name.
In NC, you have to go to the SS office with your marriage license and current driver's license and change your name there first. Then you have to wait 24 hours for your name change at SS to show up at the DMV. Once you change your name at the SS office and DMV, your new IDs will be mailed to you then you can go change it at your bank, work, etc. For the most part, I could change my name on accounts such as TV and phone over the phone or email a copy of my new license.
I don't have a passport yet so I didn't have to worry about that.
As far as I'm concerned, even if you hyphenate your name, you should change it on all accounts and IDs so that it all matches, JIC. FWIW, I just changed my name at the bank last Friday and it's been almost a year and I still haven't changed it on our DirecTV account. I also completely changed my last name and dropped my maiden name.
I didn't find it to be a difficult process, and was surprised how easy it was for a few things (one credit card I could do over the phone). Definitely scan the license and your new id when you get it and keep it on your computer.
A few things I haven't changed yet (store rewards type things), but the major stuff didn't take long. I still need to switch my email over, that seems like the biggest deal to me, I'm just so used to my email and Its the username for soo many sites, so it seems annoying. But I know down the road, I won't want firstinitialmaidename as an email because people won't know me as that. I made a new email, just haven't started using it.
When the mistake was discovered on our marriage certificate about a month after the wedding, I took it back to the service center to get it fixed. They said if it was their mistake they would fix it, but if it was my mistake on the application I would have to go through the legal name change process to change my name. So a month after the wedding I would have to go through the entire legal name change process if I wanted to take my husband's last name (which was all I was trying to do, take his last name). I wonder why some states are so much more strict.
Where I am (NY) you can both change your name and it has to be on the certificate. You can change it to either one name one party has or an amalgamation of both names, no new names allowed sadly (we brainstormed some new names we'd go with but our mash-up name sounded ridiculous so we scrapped that idea). And the SSA updates their records immediately so I made a DMV appointment as soon as I left the SSA and got my new license the same day.
The one major thing I have left to do is my passport, but we're taking a bit of a delayed honeymoon so I'm going to be doing that by January (and my husband has never had a passport, so we're getting them together).
Which leads me to a question: How many of you all did choose to change your email address, and was the hassle worth it? I just don't see the benefits of changing it as worth having to update it everywhere and potentially miss emails or bills I forgot to change.
Also! I've never changed any of my usernames. Too much hassle and usernames are too ingrained in my brain.
I DID have to update my work email, but they set it up so that my old account just forwards everything to my new account, so it wasn't an issue at all. Plus I rarely get emails from people outside the office that are not spam anyway.
But yes my work one changed. Thankfully I just started this job in June so it wasn't too much of a hassle to change (except for our poor IT guy who had to redo all my profiles, logins, etc). My old one forwards to the new one automatically.