Wedding Invitations & Paper

Getting ready to order my invites...

Ok so I've got my STDs already - they list our names, date, location of the wedding, and our wedding website. However they are not going out to everyone (thanks Knotties for that advice). I'll be sending them out next month to our OOT families and will be ordering my invites soon.

So two questions:
1. Our RSVP card will have a line for guests to list any food allergies/diet restrictions. However we are having a buffet dinner so they won't have to choose their entree (caterer will bring enough of both meats for everyone). Should I put in an extra card with the menu on it so people know what we're having? (and by that, also know if they're allergic to anything on our menu). The whole menu is gluten free (my mom is gf) and the only shellfish would be one of our apps, so I'm mostly worried about lactose intolerant (we have a mashed potato bar) and vegetarians. 

2. I've been told its rude to put our wedding website on the invite because it has our registries and I don't want to look gift-grabby. If I do a small menu card, would it be ok to put the wedding website at the bottom? We're still deciding on our apps for cocktail hour (we're leaning towards a crab dip for one of them, but not sure what else) so they won't be on the menu card but they will be on the website once we figure them out. We also have directions on there to our venue along with a brief description of the marina (so people have an idea of the formality of the venue). If I don't do a menu card, is there another way to include the website? Or should I not worry about including it at all?

Really want to make sure I'm not being rude or gift grabby - I just want my guests to come, eat, drink, and have fun.

Re: Getting ready to order my invites...

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think the food allergies / diet restrictions is fine to do without listing the food on the menu. It's a nice gesture. If someone makes a request for gluten-free, you know you've already taken care of them.

    We had an insert that said something along the lines of this: "We have a block of hotel rooms reserved. Reservation information as well as maps can be found at www.weddingwebsite.com"

    DH and I did a custom Google map with several key places mapped out (church, reception venue, hotel, airport, local drugstore) and linked to it on our site.
    kimmiinthemitten
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    indigo26 said:
    Ok so I've got my STDs already - they list our names, date, location of the wedding, and our wedding website. However they are not going out to everyone (thanks Knotties for that advice). I'll be sending them out next month to our OOT families and will be ordering my invites soon.

    So two questions:
    1. Our RSVP card will have a line for guests to list any food allergies/diet restrictions. However we are having a buffet dinner so they won't have to choose their entree (caterer will bring enough of both meats for everyone). Should I put in an extra card with the menu on it so people know what we're having? (and by that, also know if they're allergic to anything on our menu). The whole menu is gluten free (my mom is gf) and the only shellfish would be one of our apps, so I'm mostly worried about lactose intolerant (we have a mashed potato bar) and vegetarians. 

    2. I've been told its rude to put our wedding website on the invite because it has our registries and I don't want to look gift-grabby. If I do a small menu card, would it be ok to put the wedding website at the bottom? We're still deciding on our apps for cocktail hour (we're leaning towards a crab dip for one of them, but not sure what else) so they won't be on the menu card but they will be on the website once we figure them out. We also have directions on there to our venue along with a brief description of the marina (so people have an idea of the formality of the venue). If I don't do a menu card, is there another way to include the website? Or should I not worry about including it at all?

    Really want to make sure I'm not being rude or gift grabby - I just want my guests to come, eat, drink, and have fun.
    HolyGuac has some good ideas.  You could also do the same if your registry is linked to your webpage with your shower invitations.  

    You never know what could change between then and now that could call for a last minute menu change, so I would just request dietary restrictions on the RSVP Card and save Menu Cards for the day of, if still wanted.
    image
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ditto holyguac

    If you haven't sent out STDs yet when is your wedding?

    I caution people not to order invites too soon.   I've seen a few knotties get in trouble with ordering invites too early, something changes and they are stuck with invites they can not use.     It's fine to start the design, but I caution not hitting "send" too soon.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I suggest that you post your wording here before you order your invitations.  We will be happy to help you check for errors.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]
  • Wedding is July 9, 2016. According to the Knot's timeline I'm "late" sending out STDs, but I couldn't see sending them out more than 6-7 months ahead of time. They're only going to our OOT families - most of our local close friends/family already know the date and location.

    I'm getting everything from Vistaprint so I'm not spending a whole lot on the invites and such - so if I had to redo them it wouldn't break my budget. Hoping I don't have to redo anything since the caterer and venue are already paid in full based on the amount of people we're inviting, including kids and plus ones (the caterer will give a refund or allow me to upgrade some stuff depending on how many people RSVP no).

    @holyguacamole79 -  I honestly hadn't thought of reserving a block of hotel rooms for OOT people - how do you go about doing that? And how do you pick a hotel for them? I usually stay in pretty cheap hotels and I don't know what my guests normally stay at when they travel. 

    @kimmiinthemitten  - I don't think I'm having a shower (that I know of). Of course if one of my friends decides to throw me one I'll give her the link, but I'm perfectly happy without a shower. I already told my three bridesmaids that I just want them to show up in a blue non-strapless dress and have fun.

    I will definitely post my wording on here for you guys to check and I'll skip the menu cards. 
    kimmiinthemittenspockforprez
  • indigo26indigo26 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2015
    The wording that we came up with so far is:

    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of

    Indigo
    and
    Philbert

    Saturday, July 9, 2016
    4:00pm

    Marina
    123 Boat Lane
    Lake, NC 12345

    Reception to follow


    Its going to be a rather casual wedding so I want our invite to reflect that.
    ETA - forgot to finish a thought.
    spockforprez
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    indigo26 said:
    Wedding is July 9, 2016. According to the Knot's timeline I'm "late" sending out STDs, but I couldn't see sending them out more than 6-7 months ahead of time. They're only going to our OOT families - most of our local close friends/family already know the date and location.

    I'm getting everything from Vistaprint so I'm not spending a whole lot on the invites and such - so if I had to redo them it wouldn't break my budget. Hoping I don't have to redo anything since the caterer and venue are already paid in full based on the amount of people we're inviting, including kids and plus ones (the caterer will give a refund or allow me to upgrade some stuff depending on how many people RSVP no).

    @holyguacamole79 -  I honestly hadn't thought of reserving a block of hotel rooms for OOT people - how do you go about doing that? And how do you pick a hotel for them? I usually stay in pretty cheap hotels and I don't know what my guests normally stay at when they travel. 

    @kimmiinthemitten  - I don't think I'm having a shower (that I know of). Of course if one of my friends decides to throw me one I'll give her the link, but I'm perfectly happy without a shower. I already told my three bridesmaids that I just want them to show up in a blue non-strapless dress and have fun.

    I will definitely post my wording on here for you guys to check and I'll skip the menu cards. 
    The general advice is to choose one or two hotels of varying cost near your venue.  My venue was in the suburbs of Houston, so there really weren't that many options.  We also didn't have to many OOT guests, so we were okay reserving just one.

    Contact the hotel and ask about reserving a block of rooms.  They should be used to this and should be prepared to help you out.  Depending on the hotel, there will likely be a cutoff date when the rooms will need to be released if they are not booked.  We reserved through Marriott (there is a Courtyard ~3 miles from the church where we got married) and they were really easy to work with.

    Depending on the popularity of your area during the summer, I'd go ahead & reach out and ask about room blocks sooner rather than later.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2015
    Generally, the formality of a wedding is indicated by the design of the invitation, not the wording.  I love Vistaprint, but their wording advice is terrible.  Zip codes are never printed on an invitation, only on the outer envelope.  The year is optional, since everybody knows you are getting married within about 8 weeks of the invitation's arrival.

    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of

    Indigo
    and
    Philbert

    Saturday, the ninth of July
    two thousand sixteen
    at four o'clock

    Marina
    123 Boat Lane
    Lake, North Carolina

    Reception to follow

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]
  • Ok - thank you so much for correcting my wording!

    And I will be getting on a hotel block ASAP since my wedding is the weekend after a holiday and I'm not sure how quickly places book up. 

    Another question about doing an insert with hotel info - does that go in every invite or just the OOT people? 

    On my RSVP cards, should I drop the year as well? Right now they read:

    Please respond by:
    June 20, 2016

    (Line for me to write name)
    __Accepts with pleasure
    __Declines with regret

    Please list food allergies and restrictions:
    (line for listing)
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    indigo26 said:
    Ok - thank you so much for correcting my wording!

    And I will be getting on a hotel block ASAP since my wedding is the weekend after a holiday and I'm not sure how quickly places book up. 

    Another question about doing an insert with hotel info - does that go in every invite or just the OOT people? 

    On my RSVP cards, should I drop the year as well? Right now they read:

    Please respond by:
    June 20, 2016

    (Line for me to write name)
    __Accepts with pleasure
    __Declines with regret

    Please list food allergies and restrictions:
    (line for listing)
    I vote for hotel card for every invitation.  In my group, it's not uncommon to use the hotel block for weddings that are at least a 30 minute drive away to avoid drunk driving.
    image
    holyguacamole79ILoveBeachMusic
  • Just a few changes. 

    Please respond by June 20

    (Line for me to write name)
    __Accepts
    __Declines

    Please list food allergies and restrictions:
    (line for listing)

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    indigo26 said:
    Ok - thank you so much for correcting my wording!

    And I will be getting on a hotel block ASAP since my wedding is the weekend after a holiday and I'm not sure how quickly places book up. 

    Another question about doing an insert with hotel info - does that go in every invite or just the OOT people? 

    On my RSVP cards, should I drop the year as well? Right now they read:

    Please respond by:
    June 20, 2016

    (Line for me to write name)
    __Accepts with pleasure
    __Declines with regret

    Please list food allergies and restrictions:
    (line for listing)
    I vote for hotel card for every invitation.  In my group, it's not uncommon to use the hotel block for weddings that are at least a 30 minute drive away to avoid drunk driving.
    I agree.  Besides, if you put the website on the hotel insert, you'll want all your invitees to see the website.

    I found the wording from our insert.  Here's what it said:

    Please join us for dinner & dancing
    immediately following Mass
    (address to reception)
    Visit www.weddingwebsite.com
    for directions and hotel information
  • Pretty cool read! Interesting thread. The gorgeous post learned a great deal Thanks greatly!
  • 1. Our RSVP card will have a line for guests to list any food allergies/diet restrictions. However we are having a buffet dinner so they won't have to choose their entree (caterer will bring enough of both meats for everyone). Should I put in an extra card with the menu on it so people know what we're having? (and by that, also know if they're allergic to anything on our menu). The whole menu is gluten free (my mom is gf) and the only shellfish would be one of our apps, so I'm mostly worried about lactose intolerant (we have a mashed potato bar) and vegetarians. I think by just listing the line for people to list any food allergies/diet restrictions you are better off. This way you are just trying to accommodate any special needs. If you provide the food menu in advance, I think you open yourself up to people making up issues because they may not like something on your menu compared to actually having an allergy. Plus if for some reason you have to make changes to your menu at the last minute, as long as it fits the special needs, you won't have any issues or comments made.

    2. I've been told its rude to put our wedding website on the invite because it has our registries and I don't want to look gift-grabby. If I do a small menu card, would it be ok to put the wedding website at the bottom? We're still deciding on our apps for cocktail hour (we're leaning towards a crab dip for one of them, but not sure what else) so they won't be on the menu card but they will be on the website once we figure them out. We also have directions on there to our venue along with a brief description of the marina (so people have an idea of the formality of the venue). If I don't do a menu card, is there another way to include the website? Or should I not worry about including it at all? We did diy business cards that just said "For more wedding information like hotel, directions, etc., check out our website at....." We just put that in the envelope with the invite. Doing it that way allowed us not to have to do inserts with directions or hotel information. We took advantage of the free website the knot allows you to do. We put on our website too things to do in the area & the costs for our out of town guests. If you did this, you wouldn't have to do inserts with any of the info you listed above, which will save you time and money.
  • CMGragain said:
    Just a few changes. 

    Please respond by June 20

    (Line for me to write name)
    __Accepts
    __Declines

    Please list food allergies and restrictions:
    (line for listing)

    I agree with this wording rather than "Accepts with Pleasure" or "Declines with Regret."  What if I secretly don't like you and I'm declining with Pleasure or I'm grudgingly accepting?  Basically, you shouldn't tell people how to feel.
  • Thanks for the advice guys - I had just gone with Vistaprint's wording, which I see is not the best. I'm going to change my wording to what CMGragain suggested. We're going to skip the menu card inserts and I might just do a frame with the menu listed at the head of the buffet since everyone gets to pick whatever they want (and can get some of everything if they want). 

    As for the hotel insert, I like your wording @holyguacamole79  but our reception and ceremony are at the same place. How do you guys feel about an insert like what Erikan73 suggested? One that states "For hotel information and directions please see our wedding website at: www.indyandphilbert.com."

    @adk19 - I have to admit your response made me laugh because I could see myself thinking the same thing if I was looking at it objectively. Thanks for pointing that out!
    kimmiinthemitten
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @indigo26 , I agree with going with Erika's wording.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2015
    Erika's idea is exactly what my daughter did.  Vistaprint makes cheap, pretty business cards that can be formatted to put in your information.
    If you are going to need escort cards, we used Vistaprint's folded business cards and filled in the names and table numbers.  (They got married four years ago, so I'm not worried about personal information.)






    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Awesome - I'll just order business cards at the same time as my invites and use them as inserts. Thank you guys so much for the help!

    @CMGragain - I've seen ideas of doing a seating chart of sorts as a pretty poster in a frame. Something like this - 

    I'm just assigning tables and not doing place cards at each seat. Is this acceptable or do I need to do the little escort cards that they can carry with them? I'm inviting less than 100 people if that makes any difference.
  • That idea is fine but if you have to move around any tables last minute you'll have to re-do the whole thing, as opposed to seating cards where you would have to re-do just a few. I think there was a bride on here recently who was in that situation. I would stick with traditional seating cards, personally.
    [Deleted User]
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