Update! Setback - I'm unemployed.

banana468

Can you file unemployment based on those conditions? What a nightmare.

Best of luck finding something better and thoughts for your FMIL!

spockforprez

FMIL has cancer.  

I don't know too much about it yet, but the good news is that it was caught via her mammogram so hopefully it's in very early stages. She will go see the surgeon tomorrow.

thefanciestbeckler

I am so sorry to hear that, spockforprez. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

spockforprez

thefanciestbeckler said:

I am so sorry to hear that, spockforprez. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks so much. I hope 2015 was our year to be shat upon by the universe and that 2016 has much better things in store!

nerdwife

spockforprez said:

Thank you @holyguacamole79 .  

Thank you for the insight @nerdwife ! I definitely tried the "approach my current job with a better attitude" thing many, many times. A few times it would be okay and then some other shit would happen and I'd be like Why am I not surprised? (Seriously, that place was the pits. Far and away from my actual job, the facilities were crap. In October they shut off the water and made us work with porta potties and hand sanitizer - then served us pizza as an apology. Sorry, I don't want people who wiped their asses with no sink to wash their hands reaching into a communal pizza box. A bunch of us left and got written up because of it. Also, two days before Thanksgiving we found out the building had had a bedbug infestation since August and they never told us. I wanted to post about it here but a couple people who talked about it on social media were fired so I kept mum. They didn't close the building for that either.) 

Phew, having said that, I definitely agree and while I'd love to actually get my adult shit together and figure out my career path and focus on getting a degree and a job that match, the fact is I need to work to live and no matter the job it will be much more pleasant if I have a positive attitude!

I'm not sure about babysitting but the "odd jobs" idea is a good one! I've always wanted to edit papers for money. I'd probably only make $5 a day lol. Also, my cousin does sales for companies in this region and has offered to see if anyone is hiring for office staff of any kind. I definitely plan to take her up on that! 

Thank you so much for your positive words. I'm definitely feeling MUCH BETTER this week than last. I had a good weekend visiting my family with FH and have accomplished a ton around the house since Monday.

FMIL should hear today about the result of her biopsy. Fingers crossed that it's benign! 

First of all, I'm so so sorry to hear about FMIL. Definitely keeping your whole family in my thoughts.

Second, just wanted to clarify that I did not mean to suggest that you didn't have a positive enough attitude about your last job - that place sounds like an unmitigated nightmare. I just meant that I got a good job (you know, working bathrooms, benefits, etc.) but wasn't thrilled with it for a while because it's not the field I thought I'd end up in, so my advice was just to keep an open mind about fields/areas/etc. Definitely do not work in places with bedbugs or non-working bathrooms. Bye bye to that.

kimmiinthemitten

spockforprez said:

FMIL has cancer.  

I don't know too much about it yet, but the good news is that it was caught via her mammogram so hopefully it's in very early stages. She will go see the surgeon tomorrow.

Sorry to hear this!  How very scary, thankfully breast cancer treatment has come a long way and it's no longer the disease it once was.  She's lucky to have you in her support system.  What did the surgeon say?

spockforprez

@nerdwife the sad thing is my former employer is a MAJOR US FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. Like household name major. That's one of the reasons why we were so pissed about the facilities crap, like we have billions in profit, we can afford to close the site for a few days to address these issues! I definitely hear what you were saying about overcoming "well this isn't my dream job so I hate it" kind of thing, and I totally agree.  

spockforprez

kimmiinthemitten said:

spockforprez said:

FMIL has cancer.  

I don't know too much about it yet, but the good news is that it was caught via her mammogram so hopefully it's in very early stages. She will go see the surgeon tomorrow.

Sorry to hear this!  How very scary, thankfully breast cancer treatment has come a long way and it's no longer the disease it once was.  She's lucky to have you in her support system.  What did the surgeon say?

Thanks so much Kim.  To the bolded, about as good of news as you can get when it's cancer! She's essentially hanging out in stage zero so she will have a lumpectomy and radiation. They offered no radiation but she would need a mastectomy and didn't want that (surgeon also agreed it wasn't the ideal choice). She has her surgery on NYE. They do need to poke around her lymph nodes to be sure there is no cancer in that system, though.

kimmiinthemitten

spockforprez said:

kimmiinthemitten said:

spockforprez said:

FMIL has cancer.  

I don't know too much about it yet, but the good news is that it was caught via her mammogram so hopefully it's in very early stages. She will go see the surgeon tomorrow.

Sorry to hear this!  How very scary, thankfully breast cancer treatment has come a long way and it's no longer the disease it once was.  She's lucky to have you in her support system.  What did the surgeon say?

Thanks so much Kim.  To the bolded, about as good of news as you can get when it's cancer! She's essentially hanging out in stage zero so she will have a lumpectomy and radiation. They offered no radiation but she would need a mastectomy and didn't want that (surgeon also agreed it wasn't the ideal choice). She has her surgery on NYE. They do need to poke around her lymph nodes to be sure there is no cancer in that system, though.

Stage zero is great news!  Keep us posted on her surgery goes.

spockforprez

FMIL had her surgery on NYE and it went well; they removed the cancerous lump as well as one of her lymph nodes (not sure if that was cancerous or just suspicious). She will begin radiation treatment later this month probably. She's doing really well! 

Today is the first day that my unemployment feels "real." The first couple of days I think I was in shock and numb. The following week was the week of Christmas and FH had off starting Wednesday so we basically had a 12-day Christmas vacation together, which was really nice despite the anxiety and occasional crying jags. He went back to work yesterday, but I've always had Mondays off so it still seemed normal.

Now, today, which would have been the first day of my work week, I really feel strange about not going back. I feel good, though. As time passes, the magnetic pull of what I call the "death spiral of doom" (going back through everything that happened over the last 2.5 years over and over and blaming myself or others and wishing I had done X or Y differently) wanes. I'm job hunting, taking some professional classes online via Coursera, taking care of the house, meal planning, and trying to walk 30 mins every day. We are also taking square dancing lessons! 

We don't have a 100% clear plan right now but we think the best option is for me to work part-time until after the wedding, enough hours to get health insurance. There are some part-time teller jobs open near me--I worked in the banking industry--which would pay like crap but work really well with my schedule and allow me to go to e.g. orthodontist appointments without taking unpaid or unexcused absences (depending on hypothetical future company's absence policy). I would also have weekends free for all of the prewedding and wedding events for my cousin and myself. I think part-time would be better than temping because of the health insurance. This will be difficult financially but I think we can make it.

spockforprez

Okay to zombify my own thread?

I am employed. (Pending a background check. I have no criminal record of any kind so I'm sure that will go smoothly.)

I interviewed for, was offered, and accepted a job today. I start March 14. 

It's for a call center. They work contracts, and the contract I am working on is with a utility company. While this is not an ideal job and the pay is really bad compared to my previous job, anything is better than $0/hr. The plus side is that it's five minutes from my house, compared to 35-75 minutes depending on traffic. I will be saving about six hours per week on my commute, which is time I can use for school, and it will save me a lot of stress over traffic and backups, too.

The whole thing was a pretty good experience. I had never heard of the company so I was a little hesitant but I liked the vibe of the folks running the fair and I could see myself fitting in there. I finished all the assessments quickly and received perfect scores except one, which was a 94. And they were very impressed at my typing speed (11,500 kph with 100% accuracy) and kept showing each other my file where the score was, lol. Hey, I will take any ego boost I can get at this point. 

@nerdwife, I am going to do my best to take your advice about having a positive attitude about a job I may not be thrilled over. I will only be hurting myself by "deigning" to be there everyday. 

My cousin's wedding is March 12, which is nice that I won't have any conflicts there, and I start my first college class since 2013 on March 14, too, so it feels like a nice, symbolic fresh start. I also have a month to get some short-term goals out of the way, some organization stuff around the house as well as some needlework I am making as gifts. 

Woohoo. Now maybe I can let go of some of my anxiety.  

PamBeesly524

Congratulations! That is excellent news. It could be tough going to a job that you don't love every day, but compared to the alternative of no job, i totally vote for having a positive attitude and making the best out of it. You never know what opportunities this position could open up for you in the long run!

nerdwife

Congrats, @spockforprez!! That's great news, and you have a great attitude about it. What are you going back to school for? (sorry if I missed that somewhere)

thisismynickname2

Woo hoo! Great news!

spockforprez

PamBeesly524 said:

Congratulations! That is excellent news. It could be tough going to a job that you don't love every day, but compared to the alternative of no job, i totally vote for having a positive attitude and making the best out of it. You never know what opportunities this position could open up for you in the long run!

I hated my previous job (and sort of hated myself as a result), so even if this one is just "okay" it will be an improvement! Thanks so much Mrs. Halpert  

nerdwife said:

Congrats, @spockforprez!! That's great news, and you have a great attitude about it. What are you going back to school for? (sorry if I missed that somewhere)

I am getting my AS in business, I just wanted a program I could do the guaranteed transfer thing with. For my 4-year, I think I will do accounting. That has a good future earning potential and will travel well, I think.

@thisismynickname, thanks!!

kimmiinthemitten

Yay!  Congrats!  I'm so happy for you.  You guys deserve some good  news after the last couple of months you've had.

CharmedPam

Fantastic news! SO happy for you!

kvruns

yea congrats! Will you be able to take off any previously scheduled time off for wedding stuff?

thefanciestbeckler

This is such great news @spockforprez!! I am so happy for you. I'm sure this is a huge relief to you and your FI both. All the wine for you!

julieanne912

Congrats!  That shorter commute will really help.  Nothing worse than a long commute to a job that sucks!

glasgowtolondon

Yay! I was thinking about this just the other day and wondering if you'd managed to find anything! I'm jealous of that commute for sure. Sounds like even if you don't love the job it's more suitable for your life right now, might make life a bit easier once you take on school. And like you mentioned, a small paycheck is better than no paycheck!

spockforprez

kimmiinthemitten said:

Yay!  Congrats!  I'm so happy for you.  You guys deserve some good  news after the last couple of months you've had.

CharmedPam said:

Fantastic news! SO happy for you!

thefanciestbeckler said:

This is such great news @spockforprez!! I am so happy for you. I'm sure this is a huge relief to you and your FI both. All the wine for you!

Thank you, peeps!! 

spockforprez

kvruns said:

yea congrats! Will you be able to take off any previously scheduled time off for wedding stuff?

The interviewer couldn't say specifically but he said to let them know when I get there and he doesn't think it will be an issue. I feel pretty confident I can take the time, at least unpaid. I'll feel better once I have it sorted for sure, though!

spockforprez

julieanne912 said:

Congrats!  That shorter commute will really help.  Nothing worse than a long commute to a job that sucks!

You got it! That was my life for two years. Most mornings I would fantasize about driving past my exit and wondering what would happen if I just didn't go in. I probably should have quit sooner but I was too scared. Oh well. I'd much rather a five minute commute to an okay job  

spockforprez

glasgowtolondon said:

Yay! I was thinking about this just the other day and wondering if you'd managed to find anything! I'm jealous of that commute for sure. Sounds like even if you don't love the job it's more suitable for your life right now, might make life a bit easier once you take on school. And like you mentioned, a small paycheck is better than no paycheck!

Thank you for the words, that means a lot. It's been a really tough two months. And, yes! I can't believe I will get over six hours of my life back per week. Over 300 hours per year. It's awesome. And money in the bank = equally awesome. Thanks again! 

MobKaz

spockforprez said:

julieanne912 said:

Congrats!  That shorter commute will really help.  Nothing worse than a long commute to a job that sucks!

You got it! That was my life for two years. Most mornings I would fantasize about driving past my exit and wondering what would happen if I just didn't go in. I probably should have quit sooner but I was too scared. Oh well. I'd much rather a five minute commute to an okay job  

It has been mentioned that a small paycheck is better than no paycheck at all.  The incredibly short commute has also been used positively in terms of giving you the gift of extra time.  If you start to factor what your gas costs used to be compared to now, it technically inflates your paycheck to a better place as well.  Your new year is off to a great start!

spockforprez

MobKaz said:

spockforprez said:

julieanne912 said:

Congrats!  That shorter commute will really help.  Nothing worse than a long commute to a job that sucks!

You got it! That was my life for two years. Most mornings I would fantasize about driving past my exit and wondering what would happen if I just didn't go in. I probably should have quit sooner but I was too scared. Oh well. I'd much rather a five minute commute to an okay job  

It has been mentioned that a small paycheck is better than no paycheck at all.  The incredibly short commute has also been used positively in terms of giving you the gift of extra time.  If you start to factor what your gas costs used to be compared to now, it technically inflates your paycheck to a better place as well.  Your new year is off to a great start!

Very true! I really should run that calculation. The stress alone (it was through a couple different bridge tunnels notorious for hour-long backups, hours-long on Fridays) is probably worth it. And to the bolded - I agree! 

tigerlily6

Just saw and read through the whole post (I missed it in December). First, very happy to hear you left behind your last job! Sounds like it was the right move to make! Solidarity from another 27 year old who has been reorganizing her life! My recent return to school was prompted by hating my old job (which also had a crazy long commute), and yeah, it was pretty scary leaving, but I really do feel like it has been the right decision in the long run! When your professional life starts to impact your personal life in a way that you feel physically and emotionally drained by it, it is time to move on. Proud of you for doing that!

Second, sorry to hear about your FMIL's cancer. Sounds like she is at least in a good place to fight it and beat it, but still very difficult to go through, especially given FFIL's health concerns. I'm sure it is a huge gift for her to have family support and means a lot to have such a supportive FDIL. 

Third, CONGRATULATIONS on your new job! I am sure that has taken a huge feeling of pressure off. Sounds like an occasion to treat yourself to a non-crockpot meal. (FYI, if you keep up the budget menu, feel free to PM me -- it is the one thing my FI and I obsess over and have gotten pretty good at since we realized it was a place we overspent a lot. I've learned a few tricks, but the biggest thing that has helped is planning out our meal recipes together every week before going grocery shopping, so we buy only what we need.) 

AddieCake

Congrats! Best of luck at the new job!

spockforprez

Thanks Addie! @AddieCake

****this should be in a box****

tigerlily6 said:
Just saw and read through the whole post (I missed it in December). First, very happy to hear you left behind your last job! Sounds like it was the right move to make! Solidarity from another 27 year old who has been reorganizing her life! My recent return to school was prompted by hating my old job (which also had a crazy long commute), and yeah, it was pretty scary leaving, but I really do feel like it has been the right decision in the long run! When your professional life starts to impact your personal life in a way that you feel physically and emotionally drained by it, it is time to move on. Proud of you for doing that!
Second, sorry to hear about your FMIL's cancer. Sounds like she is at least in a good place to fight it and beat it, but still very difficult to go through, especially given FFIL's health concerns. I'm sure it is a huge gift for her to have family support and means a lot to have such a supportive FDIL. 
Third, CONGRATULATIONS on your new job! I am sure that has taken a huge feeling of pressure off. Sounds like an occasion to treat yourself to a non-crockpot meal. (FYI, if you keep up the budget menu, feel free to PM me -- it is the one thing my FI and I obsess over and have gotten pretty good at since we realized it was a place we overspent a lot. I've learned a few tricks, but the biggest thing that has helped is planning out our meal recipes together every week before going grocery shopping, so we buy only what we need.) 
****thus endeth the box****

 
Thank you for this lovely and thoughtful response! I have been feeling so down on myself for the last 3-4 years. Most of my high school friends graduated college in 4 years like they were supposed to, many have completed master's degrees, etc. instead of changing majors 5 times and dropping out three times like me. My peers at my former company - started at the same time, had a similar background and education, etc. - achieved so much more than I did. It's been tough. I feel like my FH has been the only bright spot. (And thank god!) Sorry to ramble, it's just your "reorganizing" comment really hit home. I do have a goal for school in mind and will be making it my first priority. Based on my current plan, I will graduate in 2020. Only 10 years late. But I like the symbolism of that, at least. :P 

I would love to chat more with you about food budget. That is the place our money bleeds. I have also been trying to lose weight for nearly two years and while I had a run of success, it's been a struggle lately and I've put weight back on. I know that I can solve for both "birds" with the one stone of meal planning, but I never seem to get a handle on it. That's one of my short-term goals in the next month, though: I'd like to have 60 meals in the freezer by the time I start work. I will definitely PM you Also, I love love love your sigpic.