Chit Chat

Irrational annoyance

Last year for Christmas, H bought MIL a laptop. Installed windows on it, loaded it with everything she would need to start a work from home job she just had to have because her regular job was "killing her." She went on about how she needed a laptop to do this job for moooonths, so he bought one.

She bitched about it. He put on the "wrong" windows version, she couldn't use this one, it's too hard. And said she probably wasn't going to take that job anyway, she changed her mind. We were both miffed, but whatever, she has a laptop now.

This year, we ask what she needs. She answers money is tight this year, so she'd appreciate grocery store gift cards, cash, and her roof needs work, but she knows H is short on time right now. Oh but don't spend a lot of money on me either. Passive aggressive MIL code for I'm going to whine about my roof until you rescue me by fixing it. She did this about her oven, dishwasher, and garbage disposal, refusing to allow us or SIL to pay someone to fix it or put in a new one, H had to come fix it. We have spent close to 20k over the past 5 years on H's knees and spine, like hell is he getting up on your roof, lady!

Had she said she needed help getting her roof fixed, could we help her by paying for part of it? Cool. But expecting H to do it when that's not what he does? He's a programmer for God's sake. No, crazycakes. Ugh.
«1

Re: Irrational annoyance

  • banana468 said:
    scribe95 said:
    Hire a roofer and take him over to get an estimate. She will get the hint.
    And if it's sounding like the home repairs are too much for her, stop enabling her to live in a place that's turning her into someone house poor.

    Just like I don't think parents need to go for broke sending their kids off to college, I don't think children have an obligation to keep their parents in a house when there are more affordable alternatives out there.   It's not necessarily a pleasant conversation but your H has no one to blame but himself if he continues to say yes. 
    Some people are seriously that stubborn. My in-laws are double mortgaged up to their eyeballs and actually owe TWICE what they owed when they originally bought it 15 years ago. They had to take out of their measly 401k to do the roof. Yet we still can't talk them into just selling/walking away. They still refuse to admit that they cannot afford it. At least we don't help or enable them though.

                                                                     

    image

  • jenna8984 said:


    banana468 said:


    scribe95 said:

    Hire a roofer and take him over to get an estimate. She will get the hint.

    And if it's sounding like the home repairs are too much for her, stop enabling her to live in a place that's turning her into someone house poor.

    Just like I don't think parents need to go for broke sending their kids off to college, I don't think children have an obligation to keep their parents in a house when there are more affordable alternatives out there.   It's not necessarily a pleasant conversation but your H has no one to blame but himself if he continues to say yes. 

    Some people are seriously that stubborn. My in-laws are double mortgaged up to their eyeballs and actually owe TWICE what they owed when they originally bought it 15 years ago. They had to take out of their measly 401k to do the roof. Yet we still can't talk them into just selling/walking away. They still refuse to admit that they cannot afford it. At least we don't help or enable them though.


    Ugh.
  • Well why wouldn't she? It's worked for every other home repair she's needed! Idk why you consider this annoyance irrational.

    This. My H used to do every. damn. thing for his dad (including mowing the lawn) and he'd rush over there every time FIL called him. Then he'd come home to me, the stuff at our house he couldn't be bothered to do and complain about it. After a few months of "I'll get over there when I can - maybe next weekend" or "you have two adults and two teenage children in the house, someone else can mow the god damn lawn", FIL stopped asking H to do everything for him.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • labro said:
    I was really hoping for a real Irrational Irritations thread. Call me disappointed.
    Maybe it's irrational because NavyBlue already knows MIL is going to make demands and should expect it?

    Is there any reason we can't morph this into an Irrational Irritations thread?

    I know it shouldn't, but it irritates me when servers deliver my food and say "Enjoy!" 


                       
  • My favorite coffee shop is closed for the week of Christmas so I had to go to McDonald's instead. I hate McDonald's.



  • The local Jimmy John's has been closed for "renovations" for weeks now and I am so dang upset about it.

  • I'm a teacher and I can't stand when adults talk to other adults or teens about "Mom" instead of "your Mom" or "his/her Mom". 

    Ie when someone is talking to me about a student "He doesn't do his homework but Dad's not in the picture and Mom works nights so there's not much I can do..."



  • lnixon8 said:
    I'm a teacher and I can't stand when adults talk to other adults or teens about "Mom" instead of "your Mom" or "his/her Mom". 

    Ie when someone is talking to me about a student "He doesn't do his homework but Dad's not in the picture and Mom works nights so there's not much I can do..."

    Totally agree. My SIL does this - refers to my MIL and FIL as Grandma and Grandpa to other adults. And refers to her husband (H's brother) as Dad. I REFUSE to call my BIL "Dad." He's not my dad, and I think it's creepy that my SIL calls her husband "Dad." Gross. 
  • DH is sick.  DH gets sick EVERY FUCKING CHRISTMAS.  

    How does that even happen?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I didn't go grocery shopping for lunch stuff since it's a short week and there are no good options for lunch today at work. 
  • I get super annoyed at FIL's irrational annoyances.  We were out to dinner on Friday night and he went on a crazy loud rant about someone who was in their car in the fire lane.  FIL made a loud fuss while we were at dinner about it.

    My SIL (DH's brother's wife) and I were all

  • My irrational annoyance right now is that I'm so overwhelmed and have no time to enjoy Christmas. Between work, Christmas shopping, wrapping presents, and family gatherings, I don't have time. It's irrational because I'm fortunate to have this annoyance. I mean I have a job, I can afford Christmas presents, and I have a lot of family that I want to see for Christmas but I just hate that it feels like a chore.

  • FMIL and her siblings refer to our generation as "the kids" and it drives me nuts.  I'm almost 36, and I'm not your kid.  FI has a masters degree and teaches real kids.  His cousin and wife have a baby.  Another cousin teaches at a college in LA, another is an OR nurse.  None of these are kid things.  They're adult things.
    image
  • I had a coupon for Michael's on Sunday so I went to buy a bunch of crafty stuff to finish my niece's Christmas gift. At checkout they pointed out it wasn't good until 4 pm (and it was 2 pm at the time). I got really annoyed and protested but then bought everything anyway because the savings just wasn't worth coming back in 2 hours.



  • @labro - That's totally rational! Who starts a coupon midday??
    image
  • labro said:
    I had a coupon for Michael's on Sunday so I went to buy a bunch of crafty stuff to finish my niece's Christmas gift. At checkout they pointed out it wasn't good until 4 pm (and it was 2 pm at the time). I got really annoyed and protested but then bought everything anyway because the savings just wasn't worth coming back in 2 hours.
    Adding to the Michael's annoyance, I bought a gift card for DD's religious ED teacher and they told me I had to pay with a debit card or cash.   I haven't taken to social media yet but I'm not impressed by their ability to take my credit card for everything but gift card purchases. 
  • @kimmiinthemitten You'd think so! They do this all the time on Sundays but normally the coupons start at 2 and I've never had a problem using them "early" in the day. But apparently Miss Follows All the Rules was checking me out and she wouldn't honor it! I hope Michael's really enjoys that extra 20% they made off me!



  • @labro "Miss Follows all the Rules" made me spit out my diet coke!
    image
  • Heres my irrational.

    I use the same two scents in my wax melter, and the other day while house cleaning, FI moved the melter to our bedroom (No big. I usually keep it in the kitchen) and put dreft melty thingers for laundry in it. So now my bedroom smells like baby powder. Really puts me in the mood.


    Also FI and his buddy have decided to tear down kiddos trampoline in the garage to make way for their weight room. Because my 150lb 6 foot FI thinks he needs to lose weight for the wedding in June.


  • I hate parents who refer to their kids as "my" and then their name. Like, "oh, my Danny is coming for Christmas!". My MIL does that and my sister has started calling H "my Ricky" too. I even call him "your Ricky" when talking to her.
    I laughed harder at that than I should have.
                       
  • I get irrationally irritated when I swing open my car door to get out, and the wind blows it shut on me again.

    SaveSave
  • I just experienced a new one, and it's way petty.  I asked FI to buy new method hand soaps and none of them match any of the colors of the rooms in our house that has sinks.  Why does it matter?  I'm not sure but it's annoying!
    image
  • I hate parents who refer to their kids as "my" and then their name. Like, "oh, my Danny is coming for Christmas!". My MIL does that and my sister has started calling H "my Ricky" too. I even call him "your Ricky" when talking to her.
    We have a few men named the same in my family.  My dad, brother, and H all have the same first name.  I have taken to calling H "my first name" to alleviate some confusion.  It didn't start out that way though.  I was once emailing my mom and saying my H was going to stop at their house after work.  She then responded, "Your brother? Why is he coming over?"  My brother was living almost 2 hours away at the time.  With the context of the email, it should have been clear I was talking about my H.  So now we use the "my" and "your"s to help.
  • I just experienced a new one, and it's way petty.  I asked FI to buy new method hand soaps and none of them match any of the colors of the rooms in our house that has sinks.  Why does it matter?  I'm not sure but it's annoying!
    I buy my dish soap to match the kitchen and try to put pink soaps in the bathrooom.  The "peppermint" one that I picked up for the season is a big fail, though!

    image

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards