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Wedding 911

Firing my Maid of Honor.

I have a Maid of Honor who has booked dress shopping with me twice and failed to show up (excuse: My 15 year old sister wants to go to the park and my son will get sick if he goes outside) She showed up once and said she can only look for less than an hour. I text her about going to order the dress since the bridesmaids and I have already picked them out and she will not return any of my texts, i have also texted her asking if she has received the text messages. It has now been two days. She is a flake to everyone else. My cousin has asked her if she has planned anything since my wedding is 5 months away and she said "no, i will figure it out when she has time to think of some stuff". She has no job so I know she isn't busy. She has a son who her mom and brothers watch. 
I don't think she should be apart of the wedding anymore since its been over a year and she still can't make time for my wedding. Do you think it's okay to fire her as my maid of honor? I need advice on if I should and how to do it. 
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Re: Firing my Maid of Honor.

  • Do you still want to still be friends with this woman? If the answer is yes then don't fire her as your MOH. Firing her is a friendship ending move. If you and the other bridesmaids have already picked the dress then let her know and let her be an adult about it. If she doesn't show up to your wedding in the right dress on time then she has removed herself.

    Have you tried asking her if anything is up in her life without bringing your wedding into it? Maybe she has some stuff going on that you don't know about.
                 
    SP29[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostFosmoh
  • yes, I have talked to her about other stuff and she won't reply. I am always trying to talk to her and be there for her. I went to a family party of hers and she wouldn't even talk to me while I was there. So I left. It was a very awkward situation since we were so close and now she won't answer my text or phone calls. I talk to her brother and he says she is just not wanting to talk to you right now. But it takes 14 weeks to get the bridesmaid dresses to us so I really need to order the dress. She knows we picked out the dress and she said the price is okay and she will go get fitted two months ago and I have still been trying to get her to answer me. Everyone keeps telling me I need to just drop her, but I have known her 8 years. I should have known not to ask her because overtime we would plan something she would bail. Even on my birthday parties I have planned for her she would say "no i don't want to go anymore" I just don't know what to do... 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just leave things alone. Based on this post she probably will flake out on your wedding anyway.
    MesmrEwemollybarker11
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    yes, I have talked to her about other stuff and she won't reply. I am always trying to talk to her and be there for her. I went to a family party of hers and she wouldn't even talk to me while I was there. So I left. It was a very awkward situation since we were so close and now she won't answer my text or phone calls. I talk to her brother and he says she is just not wanting to talk to you right now. But it takes 14 weeks to get the bridesmaid dresses to us so I really need to order the dress. She knows we picked out the dress and she said the price is okay and she will go get fitted two months ago and I have still been trying to get her to answer me. Everyone keeps telling me I need to just drop her, but I have known her 8 years. I should have known not to ask her because overtime we would plan something she would bail. Even on my birthday parties I have planned for her she would say "no i don't want to go anymore" I just don't know what to do... 
    If she's flaked in the past, why did you think your wedding would be any different.

    Look, the only thing she needs to do is get the dress and show up at the wedding.  She knows the information about the dress, so just leave her alone about it and let her get it - or not - on her own.  You do not need to be involved in the process of her buying her dress.  If your wedding arrives and she doesn't have the dress then she's taken herself out of the wedding. Your wedding is 5 months away, so just go on and focus on the things that you do have control over in your wedding.



    SP29InLoveInQueensPrettyGirlLost
  • I have a Maid of Honor who has booked dress shopping with me twice and failed to show up (excuse: My 15 year old sister wants to go to the park and my son will get sick if he goes outside) She showed up once and said she can only look for less than an hour. I text her about going to order the dress since the bridesmaids and I have already picked them out and she will not return any of my texts, i have also texted her asking if she has received the text messages. It has now been two days. She is a flake to everyone else. My cousin has asked her if she has planned anything since my wedding is 5 months away and she said "no, i will figure it out when she has time to think of some stuff". She has no job so I know she isn't busy. She has a son who her mom and brothers watch. 
    I don't think she should be apart of the wedding anymore since its been over a year and she still can't make time for my wedding. Do you think it's okay to fire her as my maid of honor? I need advice on if I should and how to do it. 
    Why did you choose your bridesmaids so early?  Big mistake!  This causes more problems than just about anything else on the Knot.
    You asked her.  You must put up with her.  This is on you.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    holyguacamole79
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well what did her resume say? Did she list special MOH duties as her skills? What made you hire her? Eh, either way she sucks. Call her in and terminate her.

    InLoveInQueenskittykyat[Deleted User]
  • I was just stating that she has time not trying to be immature. And we are on a deadline to order the dresses. I also did ask every single girl if the price was okay and if not we can pick a different dress if they can't afford that specific dress. She said it was perfectly okay. I also talked to her today and she "didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be the maid of honor or apart of this wedding". Which I told her it was perfectly okay. All I was asking was for advice and didn't mean to come off selfish or immature.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    I was just stating that she has time not trying to be immature. And we are on a deadline to order the dresses. I also did ask every single girl if the price was okay and if not we can pick a different dress if they can't afford that specific dress. She said it was perfectly okay. I also talked to her today and she "didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be the maid of honor or apart of this wedding". Which I told her it was perfectly okay. All I was asking was for advice and didn't mean to come off selfish or immature.

    So did she remove herself?
  • Sounds like MOH removed herself. Now please do not replace her with someone else.


    OliveOilsMom[Deleted User]
  • I was just stating that she has time not trying to be immature. And we are on a deadline to order the dresses. I also did ask every single girl if the price was okay and if not we can pick a different dress if they can't afford that specific dress. She said it was perfectly okay. I also talked to her today and she "didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be the maid of honor or apart of this wedding". Which I told her it was perfectly okay. All I was asking was for advice and didn't mean to come off selfish or immature.
    So did she remove herself?

    Inquiring minds want to know!


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited January 2016
    I know, tell us!

    I really hope she has removed herself as it just sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. if she has, OP got what she wanted and no one had to be horrible to each other.

    I second @SP29 for the love of god don't replace her! Your friend is not a prop, nor an employee. This is not a vacancy.

    Eta: words.....
                 
    SP29MesmrEwe[Deleted User]pinupbride6189
  • Yes, she removed herself. She didn't want to be apart of the wedding, and didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be apart of it. And like I said I asked first if the price was okay, I did NOT just assume she would pay and not ask. I asked every single girl if the price was okay. If it was not okay they could pick another dress. That's the dress they all loved and it matched the style of my dress perfectly so I didn't mind. I love their dress as well.
    MesmrEwe
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    Yes, she removed herself. She didn't want to be apart of the wedding, and didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be apart of it. And like I said I asked first if the price was okay, I did NOT just assume she would pay and not ask. I asked every single girl if the price was okay. If it was not okay they could pick another dress. That's the dress they all loved and it matched the style of my dress perfectly so I didn't mind. I love their dress as well.

    So it sounds like things resolved itself. Good luck with the rear of planning!
    MesmrEwe
  • You don't need to mock me. I was simply asking for advice.
  • Heffalump said:
    You don't need to mock me. I was simply asking for advice.
    IDK, when someone talks about "firing" a friend from a position they weren't actually hired for, and which was supposed to be honorary, I think it's fair game.
    Take it as a lesson learned, Knottie#'s: metaphors & clumsy language do not work well on message boards, especially for emotionally charged subjects. It's just how things work in text.
    InLoveInQueenstigerlily6[Deleted User]
  • You don't need to mock me. I was simply asking for advice.

    You asked if it was okay to 'fire' your friend as MOH. What you see as mocking is just pp's pointing out the crazy.
                 
    InLoveInQueens[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • Yes, she removed herself. She didn't want to be apart of the wedding, and didn't want to tell me she didn't want to be apart of it. And like I said I asked first if the price was okay, I did NOT just assume she would pay and not ask. I asked every single girl if the price was okay. If it was not okay they could pick another dress. That's the dress they all loved and it matched the style of my dress perfectly so I didn't mind. I love their dress as well.
    Just curious- did she explain why she didn't want to be in the wedding anymore?
    MesmrEwePrettyGirlLost
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