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Wedding 911

Firing my Maid of Honor.

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Re: Firing my Maid of Honor.

  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    edited January 2016

    geebee908 said:



    This is a good reason why I'm thrilled that non-matching dresses have really taken off. I might love the look of a dress, but the odds of loving a dress on my body are slim. I was a bridesmaid twice in 2015 and both times I had to go with length and color only. Thank God- I'm petite and flat chested. The dresses that flattered my hourglass-shaped friends would never look good on me, but they looked like bombshells. 
    One of two things happens with matching dresses- only one woman looks really good in it (and everyone knows which friend that is, amiright?), or everyone wears a loose flowy dress that looks like a nightgown (and everyone knows what silhouette I'm talking about). 
    I honestly think bridesmaids look best when they choose their own dress- in their own budget. 

    I'm glad things are going this direction also. I'd like to see it go a step further and let the bridal party wear whatever they'd like just like any other guest, but that isn't going to happen any time soon. We'd have to get away from the idea that a wedding and reception needs a color scheme.
    I'm going to be honest, and I know this is an UO at TK, but I hope this doesn't happen. I think that most of us who don't plan parties for a living need colors or other themes to help us design something coherent and pretty. Give someone 2-4 colors and they can get their centerpieces, flowers, linens, etc to look good rather easily. Don't, and you often get a mix-mosh of whatever they thought was pretty or cool at the time. Some people can rise above, sure, but not most of us.
    ________



    But our bridal party is not decor or props. Having them absolutely must match seems like that's what we're suggesting. You can pick out colors and match with linens, etc. I had my girls pick a dress but to appease my mom and FMIL I told them a black cocktail lace with lace. Doesn't matter if lace is in the sleeves or throughout, just so the moms didn't freak that they were totally different- And I so regret even doing that!

    Anyway, back to mismatched dresses. Of my bridesmaids, one girl is getting her dress second hand at Plato's (IS getting it because that's what she told me. She's the BM who hasn't gotten a dress 15 days out from the wedding ;)), two went to a bridal shop and got a bridesmaid dress, two went to Modcloth. One is even having her mom sew her a dress! I know the girls dresses range from over $200 to just the cost of some material and everything in between, with most of the girls dresses being about $40-80. It's so much easier when you let them handle that and pick a dress they can't wait to wear!


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  • I agree about mismatched BM dresses - I honestly don't understand why people go for the identical dress look when it means everyone will likely have to spend money on a dress they will never wear again... My sister made her BMs do matching dresses, and even though I liked the color and general shape of what she chose, it is probably not something I will ever wear again since it very clearly screams "David's Bridal Bridesmaid Dress."

    I asked my BMs to wear a black dress somewhere around knee-length. I thought that would make everything easier on them, but I still got a TON of questions/requests for approval.

    Example -
    BM: "Hey! I found a dress I like, I am going to send you a photo for approval."
    Me: Is it black and around knee-length? If so I am sure it is fine. I don't need to approve it."
    BM: "But I want to make sure you are ok with the cut/neckline/cap sleeves/whatever."
    Me: "It is black and knee-length. It's pre-approved."
    BM: "But it is a halter top. Is that ok?"
    Me: "..."

    I got so. many. questions like that. No matter how many times I told them that my guidelines were limited to color and length, most of them did not seem comfortable with that level of freedom.

    In the end, everyone found (or already had) a dress that was within their own price ranges and suited their bodies perfectly. And you could tell how comfortable they were in the photos.
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    lnixon8
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    ^this. I told my girls (3 in total) black. My best friend saw a dress with gold sequins and said "oh but you probably don't like the sequins." I said I don't care if it has sequins, is bedazzled, sheer, lace, whatever. If you feel pretty then rock it!
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    [Deleted User]
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    yes, I have talked to her about other stuff and she won't reply. I am always trying to talk to her and be there for her. I went to a family party of hers and she wouldn't even talk to me while I was there. So I left. It was a very awkward situation since we were so close and now she won't answer my text or phone calls. I talk to her brother and he says she is just not wanting to talk to you right now. But it takes 14 weeks to get the bridesmaid dresses to us so I really need to order the dress. She knows we picked out the dress and she said the price is okay and she will go get fitted two months ago and I have still been trying to get her to answer me. Everyone keeps telling me I need to just drop her, but I have known her 8 years. I should have known not to ask her because overtime we would plan something she would bail. Even on my birthday parties I have planned for her she would say "no i don't want to go anymore" I just don't know what to do... 
    I would have been far more concerned with a friend of 8 years suddenly refusing to talk to me, and focusing my energies into trying to resolve that issue with my friend, rather than worrying about her buying a dress for my wedding.

    Do you have any idea what caused the rift in your relationship with your friend?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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