Save the Dates vs. RSVP
I have been reading up on what to include on the save the dates and have seen mixed reviews on this subject.
Our wedding is on Labor Day Sunday of September 2016 and most of our guests will be coming from 3+ hours away. FI thinks we should include more information than usual such as hotel options, the exact location of the hall and to ask people to respond as to whether or not they plan to attend. I’ve told him that “usually” we’re not supposed to ask for an RSVP off a Save the Date, however I don’t think it’s a bad idea either. Hotels book up extremely fast in Montreal, especially over a holiday weekend. Many have never been to the city and some have actually already started booking their rooms assuming they’re invited (which they are).
Pretty much, how much info is too much on a Save the date, and how early can we start asking people if they are attending. I do plan on sending formal invitations closer to the date with more detailed information, but he thinks our guests should be as informed as possible from the get-go. Suggestions?
** please note that website/emailing isn’t really an option for this additional info, a lot of these guests live in the country and don’t have access to that type of communication.
Thanks in advance !
Re: Save the Dates vs. RSVP
I don't see an issue with including information about your Hotel Block with the STD especially since that is a holiday weekend and rooms may book fast. However you definitely should not ask for an RSVP from a STD.
STDs are a way for guests to plan ahead and know that there is an event coming up especially for what may be an already busy weekend. They are a courtesy to your guest not an actual invitation (that being said if someone gets a STD they MUST get an invite) and since STD go out further in advance then most people actually can plan for vacation time and such through work there is no way for most people to know that far in advance either way.
So the front will be whatever design/picture you want plus your date/location. On the back you can list lodging options as well as your wedding website (if you are going to have one) for those that can access it. I mean other then that I really don't think that there is any other necessary information that they need this far in advance.
Also, is it necessary to send STD's to everyone? I mean, friends we see every week and close family obviously know what's going on, is this more for the ones we don't talk to regularly, or should I be sending every intended guest a STD and an invite ? (Of course, everyone will get an invite no matter what)
You should not mention anywhere, invitation, website, etc. that the wedding will not have kids. You simply address the invitation and save the date for the people who are invited. So you would put Mr and Mrs Jones on the initiation and not the Jones family.
And yes I know save the dates are not required, but like I said a lot of the family live in the country and even just getting them by phone or email can be a hassle, so at least this way they can get a heads up on what/when to expect it. FI is actually the one who suggested it, he knows his family best !
We are leaving our house, as well as both my parents and his parents' houses open to guests just in case, but it's still a 30 minute drive from the venue and I don't want anyone drinking and driving. Just want to make sure everyone knows they should book ASAP. Our hotel in particular only has a few rooms left already.
And I really don't think the second bolded is a good idea. I mean are you really okay with an unknown number of people possibly crashing at your house the night of your wedding?
Look you can only do so much for people. These guests are adults. If they don't book in time or "forget" to book or what have you then it is on them. So instead of catering to their dumbness, I would just provide the information and then wash your hands of it.
Every other month or so the hotels would update us on the room block. Between that and word of mouth I had a pretty good idea what our final counts would be before the final RSVPs came in.
As for our houses being open to guests. I guess that was pretty vague. It would be open to family members who might not want to pay for a hotel. OOT aunts, uncles, or even my father in law who I know is a little short on cash so I don't want to force him to pay for a room when he can just stay at our house. My parents will be driving back to their house anyway so it's not like if those guests would be left unattended to raid their home bar lol!
I guess I'm in that zone where I'm trying to accommodate so many people that I'm forgetting to do what's best for us. We want the day to be perfect for everyone, not just us
Knottie1438368909 said: THIS.
OP, I know you mean well ... I think you're buying trouble for yourself.
Our save the date had our website on it, which is where we had the hotel information. Considering your wedding is over a holiday weekend, I suggest adding wording such as, "If you plan on traveling to join us, please be aware that hotels will book quickly due to the holiday weekend." For the relatives who aren't likely to use the website, I suggest an insert with hotel information.
My parents & my sister stayed in our house on our wedding night (they had stayed there the day leading up to it, and we had already agreed they would stay there on the wedding night). There was no way in hell that I'd be okay with others crashing there. At the time DH had his own apartment, and he offered to let one of his friends stay there since he knew this friend was short on cash. Those were both pre-arranged.
If someone said that to us at our wedding reception, I would've just said "gosh, I'm not really sure what to tell you."
Regarding this - nowhere on your invites, STDs, or wedding website should it say "Adults only" or "no kids". Address the STDs (and invites) to the adults. If you expect there to be an issue, tell the family gossip to spread the word.
If someone RSVPs and indicates that there are 5 people in their family joining and you only invited the parents, call them back and say, "We are only able to accomodate Joe and Susan. We hope to see you!"
Considering that it's a holiday weekend and you'll have a fair % of guests traveling 3+ hours to come, don't be surprised if people decline over the no kids part.