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Reception Ideas

Big Fat Assyrian wedding

Fiance guest list has 800 people and he wants two bands.  A assyrian band and a regular band how to get him to cut it? I know they have large weddings of 900 to 1000 plus people and we are heading into 900 people.

Re: Big Fat Assyrian wedding

  • Can you afford it?  Can you find a venue that will host it?  I'd start by asking him to consider those two questions.  It might serve a a bit of a wake-up call if he realizes that the two of you will need to pay per person for all 900.
  • First, determine your budget.  Then, find a venue that can hold 900 people.  If you can't find a place to host everyone, then cuts need to be made and FI will have to deal with it.  If you find a place that works for your guest list, look carefully at what comes with the venue for the price, and what additional costs per person you'll have (food/drinks, how many centerpieces for how many tables if you want them, are linens and tableware included, etc).  Once you have that roughly calculated, show it to FI.  You'll either be able to afford it or you won't, and will either have to cut guests or extras (ie, no centerpieces, no live music).  How far off is the wedding?  
  • RlovesR said:
    Can you afford it?  Can you find a venue that will host it?  I'd start by asking him to consider those two questions.  It might serve a a bit of a wake-up call if he realizes that the two of you will need to pay per person for all 900.

    yes we can afford it  and the venue holds 1600 people
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?



    nerdwife[Deleted User]
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Viczaesar said:

    Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?

    Just a hunch, but maybe because 900 people is anxiety-inducing? I can't imagine trying to greet/meet 900 guests in the space of maybe 6 hours or so. Talk about overwhelming.
    ________________________________


    JediElizabeth
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I mean, what number are you looking to cut it down to? Because if that's the type of wedding he is interested in then I can't see him being ok with a 200 person wedding, or even a 500 person wedding. And maybe this is just me, but I feel like once you're over 500 who the hell cares. At that point, what's another couple hundred lol (since budget doesn't seem to be an issue).

                                                                     

    image

  • Viczaesar said:

    Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?

    Just a hunch, but maybe because 900 people is anxiety-inducing? I can't imagine trying to greet/meet 900 guests in the space of maybe 6 hours or so. Talk about overwhelming.


    You don't. Obviously. In cultures where inviting 900 people is an expectation, greeting everyone individually is not.
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?
    Just a hunch, but maybe because 900 people is anxiety-inducing? I can't imagine trying to greet/meet 900 guests in the space of maybe 6 hours or so. Talk about overwhelming.
    You don't. Obviously. In cultures where inviting 900 people is an expectation, greeting everyone individually is not.
    Well, obviously, even if a couple wasn't required to greet every single guest because culture, I'd still be out of my mind with people tapping me on the shoulder all night to say congrats. This doesn't sound like fun, at all. 
    ________________________________


    JediElizabethPrettyGirlLostMyNameIsNot


  • Viczaesar said:

    Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?

    Just a hunch, but maybe because 900 people is anxiety-inducing? I can't imagine trying to greet/meet 900 guests in the space of maybe 6 hours or so. Talk about overwhelming.


    You don't. Obviously. In cultures where inviting 900 people is an expectation, greeting everyone individually is not.

    Well, obviously, even if a couple wasn't required to greet every single guest because culture, I'd still be out of my mind with people tapping me on the shoulder all night to say congrats. This doesn't sound like fun, at all. 

    Same. Even just having that many people watch you can be terrifying, especially if you don't know the vast majority of them.

    Who's paying? Is it you and your FI, or is family? If you're paying, you have a lot more say on the guest list size
  • Did you find a venue yet?
  • It sounds like OP is asking how to get the FI to cut out one of the bands (he wants two, for some reason), not cut the guest list down.

    Am I correct, OP?
    Your wedding isn't a concert.  You don't need to entertain people with two bands.  Can you find a band that plays Assyrian as well as more mainsteam/popular music?
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    How many bands and people do you want there? Tell him he needs to meet you in the middle here with some compromising.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Well, if you can afford it and the venue is big enough, why do you want him to cut the guest list?
    Just a hunch, but maybe because 900 people is anxiety-inducing? I can't imagine trying to greet/meet 900 guests in the space of maybe 6 hours or so. Talk about overwhelming.
    You don't. Obviously. In cultures where inviting 900 people is an expectation, greeting everyone individually is not.
    Well, obviously, even if a couple wasn't required to greet every single guest because culture, I'd still be out of my mind with people tapping me on the shoulder all night to say congrats. This doesn't sound like fun, at all. 
    Same. Even just having that many people watch you can be terrifying, especially if you don't know the vast majority of them. Who's paying? Is it you and your FI, or is family? If you're paying, you have a lot more say on the guest list size
    We are paying.
  • AddieCake said:
    How many bands and people do you want there? Tell him he needs to meet you in the middle here with some compromising.

    I only wanted  one and only wanted like 150 people. He says he can only cut back to 800 people minimum.
  • It sounds like OP is asking how to get the FI to cut out one of the bands (he wants two, for some reason), not cut the guest list down.

    Am I correct, OP?
    Your wedding isn't a concert.  You don't need to entertain people with two bands.  Can you find a band that plays Assyrian as well as more mainsteam/popular music?
    I don't think just because he knows that many people he should invite them all. We had to changed venue one that hold 2500 people for a sit down dinner and 7500 for a cocktail style. I would like for him to cut the list and just choose one band.
  • snowcat67 said:
    Did you find a venue yet?

    yes we did!


  • To be honest, it sounds like you and your fiance are not on the same page. Has he been listening to your wants/needs, and is he usually open to compromise? 

    If you're ok with 900 people but not ok with 2 bands, maybe that can be your compromise: something like 6x the amount of people you originally wanted, but scaled back on the band and elsewhere. I'd approach it like that: "FI, you know I want a small wedding under 200 people, with just one band. I'm compromising with you and having a large guest list, but I need you to meet me halfway and make a concession on trimming the list a bit, and only having one band."

    nerdwifecharlotte989875OliveOilsMom
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    AddieCake said:
    How many bands and people do you want there? Tell him he needs to meet you in the middle here with some compromising.

    I only wanted  one and only wanted like 150 people. He says he can only cut back to 800 people minimum.
    Compromise and working out conflict are hugely important parts of marriage. You two need to sit down and discuss this. "I will only bend up to X" and asking outsiders to get him to budge are not how you work out disagreements with your spouse. 

    How would you address this if you disagreed about where to live or having kids? 
    [Deleted User]
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