Torn between dresses!

collegechic

HI Knot community! I need some 3rd party help... I thought I found my perfect dress with my Mom and both of my parents love it and so did I and it was perfect! It's a drop waist gown, beautiful! But now I'm having second thoughts...I think I really want a mermaid and always did, but didn't have the confidence to go for it, but my Mom doesn't seem crazy about that shape and I know my Dad HATES that idea for his "princess" haha. Mom is kinda sick of the doubts I can sense it... We're trying to stick with the same salon since I already selected a dress from there (half of it isn't paid for yet, so I still have a chance to change my mind). Mom proposed maybe having an add on skirt over a mermaid for the ceremony, so we're looking into that with baited breathe! Hopefully it won't look too ball gowny (not my personal taste).

Even with this possible solution, its causing me some deal of stress haha...thankfully we have plenty of time until the big day! Do any of you have any other suggestions??

thisismynickname2

I would stick with your initial gut reaction on the original perfect dress. You love it! Your parents love it!
Dress regret and second guessing is very, very normal and I daresay expected. You mentioned a lack of confidence with the mermaid- is your wedding really the time to not feel confident? No, it's not. 
I bought my dress very early on and definitely had regret when I saw more trends come out. You have to just stop looking. Step away from Pinterest, Say Yes to the Dress, bridal magazine ads, etc. Remember how you felt in the original dress and go with that gut feeling. 
There are a bazillion dresses out there that could have potentially have been The One. There are also many potential human beings that could have been The One. Yet, you picked out a spouse and stopped looking, now pick a dress and stop looking. 

collegechic

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collegechic

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collegechic

thisismynickname said:

I would stick with your initial gut reaction on the original perfect dress. You love it! Your parents love it!
Dress regret and second guessing is very, very normal and I daresay expected. You mentioned a lack of confidence with the mermaid- is your wedding really the time to not feel confident? No, it's not. 
I bought my dress very early on and definitely had regret when I saw more trends come out. You have to just stop looking. Step away from Pinterest, Say Yes to the Dress, bridal magazine ads, etc. Remember how you felt in the original dress and go with that gut feeling. 
There are a bazillion dresses out there that could have potentially have been The One. There are also many potential human beings that could have been The One. Yet, you picked out a spouse and stopped looking, now pick a dress and stop looking. 

Thank you @thisismynickname! I've gone back to put it on before and it just gives me mixed feelings and conflict. I wasn't confident before, but I've had many life changes since and now the drop waist almost feels like I'm hiding... I just keep going back and forth between the 'Bridal and Daddy's princess' bride of the drop waist and and 'confident beautiful and sexy' bride the mermaid cut makes me feel like.

I definitely have stepped away from watching Bridal shows and looking at dresses on Pinterest haha, now focusing my energy into figuring out decor and flowers and the men's fashion!

lachattefatale

I dunno, I think I'd go try on some mermaid dresses. They don't have to be over-the-top sexy, and c'mon, daddy's little princess is an adult and can wear what she wants. I would just do it once, and I would try on your original dress at the beginning and end of the appointment to make sure you either really DO love it or that you really do love the mermaid style more.

STARMOON44

Knottie15770957 said:

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thisismynickname said:

I would stick with your initial gut reaction on the original perfect dress. You love it! Your parents love it!
Dress regret and second guessing is very, very normal and I daresay expected. You mentioned a lack of confidence with the mermaid- is your wedding really the time to not feel confident? No, it's not. 
I bought my dress very early on and definitely had regret when I saw more trends come out. You have to just stop looking. Step away from Pinterest, Say Yes to the Dress, bridal magazine ads, etc. Remember how you felt in the original dress and go with that gut feeling. 
There are a bazillion dresses out there that could have potentially have been The One. There are also many potential human beings that could have been The One. Yet, you picked out a spouse and stopped looking, now pick a dress and stop looking. 

Thank you @thisismynickname! I've gone back to put it on before and it just gives me mixed feelings and conflict. I wasn't confident before, but I've had many life changes since and now the drop waist almost feels like I'm hiding... I just keep going back and forth between the 'Bridal and Daddy's princess' bride of the drop waist and and 'confident beautiful and sexy' bride the mermaid cut makes me feel like.

I definitely have stepped away from watching Bridal shows and looking at dresses on Pinterest haha, now focusing my energy into figuring out decor and flowers and the men's fashion!

What life changes? What are you hiding? Your butt? Like, this to me reads that your dress now doesn't show off your butt enough and now that you've gone through a life change you don't want to hide it.

You bought a dress. Stop talking about it and move on.

collegechic

If you must know @STARMOON44 last year I was diagnosed with a chronic health complication (I do not wish to go into details on it) that caused a great blow to my confidence and the meds resulted in a lot of weight gain. I have since lost weight, regained confidence and functionality in my life and been able to come off the meds, and feel like the original dress does not reflect how I feel about myself now. Nothing to do with my ass, that was always there and still is. More to do with how I see myself and how I feel about myself.

Also, the dress has not been purchased yet, so I don't think I necessarily have to stop talking about it. If I had purchased it, I definitely wouldn't have posted about it.

JoanE2012

collegechic said:

If you must know @STARMOON44 last year I was diagnosed with a chronic health complication (I do not wish to go into details on it) that caused a great blow to my confidence and the meds resulted in a lot of weight gain. I have since lost weight, regained confidence and functionality in my life and been able to come off the meds, and feel like the original dress does not reflect how I feel about myself now. Nothing to do with my ass, that was always there and still is. More to do with how I see myself and how I feel about myself. Also, the dress has not been purchased yet, so I don't think I necessarily have to stop talking about it. If I had purchased it, I definitely wouldn't have posted about it.

You said in your OP that "half of it isn't paid for".  So half is.  And you probably signed saying you'd pay the remaining balance.  That's a purchase.  Have you asked the salon if they will apply the funds to a new dress?  Most won't because they use the deposit to order the dress.

collegechic

@JoanE2012 It's not a purchase, at least not with this salon. No contract was signed saying anything like that, and I've been back a few times and the ladies there are very patient and understanding. The way the salon works is the dress is ordered when you've paid half. Until then you can transfer the funds to a new dress, or get a full refund.

JoanE2012

collegechic said:

@JoanE2012 It's not a purchase, at least not with this salon. No contract was signed saying anything like that, and I've been back a few times and the ladies there are very patient and understanding. The way the salon works is the dress is ordered when you've paid half. Until then you can transfer the funds to a new dress, or get a full refund.

collegechic said:

HI Knot community! I need some 3rd party help... I thought I found my perfect dress with my Mom and both of my parents love it and so did I and it was perfect! It's a drop waist gown, beautiful! But now I'm having second thoughts...I think I really want a mermaid and always did, but didn't have the confidence to go for it, but my Mom doesn't seem crazy about that shape and I know my Dad HATES that idea for his "princess" haha. Mom is kinda sick of the doubts I can sense it... We're trying to stick with the same salon since I already selected a dress from there (half of it isn't paid for yet, so I still have a chance to change my mind). Mom proposed maybe having an add on skirt over a mermaid for the ceremony, so we're looking into that with baited breathe! Hopefully it won't look too ball gowny (not my personal taste). Even with this possible solution, its causing me some deal of stress haha...thankfully we have plenty of time until the big day! Do any of you have any other suggestions??

You said in your original post that "half of it isn't paid for yet".  Using my math skills, that means that half IS paid for.  

And you probably should make sure you sign something - you're giving someone your money!  Never give money without getting a product or service - or a promise of a product or service.  That is for your protection!

collegechic

JoanE2012 said:

show previous quotes

collegechic said:

@JoanE2012 It's not a purchase, at least not with this salon. No contract was signed saying anything like that, and I've been back a few times and the ladies there are very patient and understanding. The way the salon works is the dress is ordered when you've paid half. Until then you can transfer the funds to a new dress, or get a full refund.

collegechic said:

HI Knot community! I need some 3rd party help... I thought I found my perfect dress with my Mom and both of my parents love it and so did I and it was perfect! It's a drop waist gown, beautiful! But now I'm having second thoughts...I think I really want a mermaid and always did, but didn't have the confidence to go for it, but my Mom doesn't seem crazy about that shape and I know my Dad HATES that idea for his "princess" haha. Mom is kinda sick of the doubts I can sense it... We're trying to stick with the same salon since I already selected a dress from there (half of it isn't paid for yet, so I still have a chance to change my mind). Mom proposed maybe having an add on skirt over a mermaid for the ceremony, so we're looking into that with baited breathe! Hopefully it won't look too ball gowny (not my personal taste).

Even with this possible solution, its causing me some deal of stress haha...thankfully we have plenty of time until the big day! Do any of you have any other suggestions??

You said in your original post that "half of it isn't paid for yet".  Using my math skills, that means that half IS paid for.  

And you probably should make sure you sign something - you're giving someone your money!  Never give money without getting a product or service - or a promise of a product or service.  That is for your protection!

Actually, not even 1/3 rd of it is paid for (even less than that). We got a receipt recording it, but no contract saying I must finishing paying on that dress.

EDIT: By my math it's about 11% of the dress that has been paid for. And it's not locked in until half is paid for, meaning until then I could change dress or request a refund and lose no money.

STARMOON44

Oh please. If you haven't bought the dress (and you're clearly just making this all up to suit yourself) just buy a new one and be done with it.

collegechic

STARMOON44 said:

Oh please. If you haven't bought the dress (and you're clearly just making this all up to suit yourself) just buy a new one and be done with it.

Um, wow. I was just trying to explain the full scope of things and answer the questions that were being asked...none of it is made up.