Recent Death in the Family and Wedding Planning Etiquette

holyguacamole79

Going back to thr convalidation topic .... several years ago, a friend had her marriage convalidated.   She and her husband had been married for many years and decided to go through the process of annulment for previous marriages (each had been married before).  She was (and is) a very active member of the community, so their convalidation took place during the Sunday 11:00 Mass.  He wore a suit and she wore a lavender dress.  It was really cool, and it meant a lot to the community.  

CMGragain

There is a thread on the etiquette of vow renewals that i like to recommend.

http://www.idotaketwo.com/blog/vow-renewal-etiquette-2/

It specifically says that vow renewals are NOT second weddings, and that traditional wedding dresses should not be worn.  Most vow renewals are at least ten years out from the wedding.

Of course you can do what you want, but you must accept the consequences if people are offended, especially by your attitude that the first ceremony didn't count, or it wasn't your "real wedding".

flantastic

holyguacamole79 said:

Going back to thr convalidation topic .... several years ago, a friend had her marriage convalidated.   She and her husband had been married for many years and decided to go through the process of annulment for previous marriages (each had been married before).  She was (and is) a very active member of the community, so their convalidation took place during the Sunday 11:00 Mass.  He wore a suit and she wore a lavender dress.  It was really cool, and it meant a lot to the community.  

My parents' best friends are in this exact situation and are doing that this Sunday, with my parents as their witnesses. (They were also the witnesses to the civil ceremony 10 or so years ago.)

PrettyGirlLost

AW3380 said:

I posted something similar a few minutes ago on another topic. I am a paralegal and work for a firm that handles family law.  Many of the above responses include the statement "the first ceremony is the one where you are legally married" which in most (if not all states) is untrue.  Most states consider you "legally" married the day you go and obtain your marriage license.  The ceremony is to solidify your marriage in the church and/or social setting.  If I were to change my mind in the time between the day I obtained the marriage license and the day the ceremony was to take place I would have to go through annulment or divorce proceedings with the court to end that legal marriage.  So arguing about PPDs and the day you are "legally" married is really irrelevant IMO.
Even though the OP is gone, if the MIL wanted the couple to have a beautiful wedding like they originally planned I see no harm in that.  As long as they are honest with their guests and given the circumstances they have been through I am sure their guests will understand.  

A simple Google search conducted by a user who lives in the UK disproved your claims several times over in that other thread.  I don't think you understand how a marriage license works.

In order for a marriage to be legally valid and binding in any state the couple must go through the legal procedure of actually FILING the license with the appropriate state agency and with the appropriate signatures or corresponding documentation.

Getting the license does not make a couple married in the eyes of the state.  ANY state.  If it did, then the license would not have an expiration date and would not need to be actively filed.