Guess what?

[Deleted User]

@speakeasy14 It's funny you say that because I actually bought some of those things in December! I thought it was a pretty good idea. We will definitely test them out.

minskat30

@untouchablets - Sorry about that.  Typing way too fast.

@caseface5 - I like the light tan your BF likes...but I love cooler colors so take that with a grain of salt.

@southernpeach89 - Those baskets are so.freaking.cute!!!

----------------------------
Can I rant for a minute? I saw about the maternity leave "expansion" on the news for the military... (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2016/01/28/pentagon-extends-maternity-and-paternity-leave-for-military-families/)


Problem is, as some media is correctly reporting, this means maternity cuts for the Navy and Marines who had 18 weeks (and the Army and Air Force had given strong indications that they were likely going to follow suit with the Navy).  Call me cynical but I think the only reason this decision was made was to keep the Army and Air Force from following suit with the Navy.  It seems like the only time any (mostly) old, white fogeys decide to do something about a terrible policy, they generally only do it after some progress is made because they don't want the progress extending.  I'm very sad about this.  

Swazzle

@speakeasy14 - DO IT! You know my address! There will be plenty of food and and booze! 

labro

@minskat30 Ugh that is such BS. I have a very hard time talking about this with my dad. He's retired military and as a leader, I think he felt...bothered? I don't know about women taking leave for pregnancy. Maybe that's an unfair statement but I guess he looked at it from this is a position where you can't just disappear from for extended periods of time and if you can't hack that, don't do it. And H is kind of in a similar vein. Apparently it's a man thing. Ugh.

[Deleted User]

Double post

labro

@southernpeach89 I FREAKING ADORE those baskets!!! Can you buy one for me too??? :P

[Deleted User]

@minskat30 - I can't tell from social media reports if the Navy already had 18 weeks, or if they had asked for 18 weeks in the policy review and got 12 instead.  Something I heard on NPR this morning made it sound like they had asked for 18 weeks, not that they already had it.  I could be totally off base though.  I agree that it's irritating when old white men make policies for women, but, at the same time...12 weeks of paid maternity leave is AWESOME compared to most of the paid maternity leave policies in this country.  The military has a history of leading the way in some social change (I say "some" because obviously not LGBT rights with DADT only being repealed a few years ago, but the military was desegregated by Truman's executive order nearly 20 years before the Civil Rights movement managed to affect the change needed to desegregate other public areas.)  So we can only hope that this might trickle down and start to become standard across private industries.

Apparently even when I'm depressed I am still also a super nerd.  

Edited because I decided to go look it up and answer my own question:  It DOES mean huge cuts for the Navy and Marines, who had approved 18 weeks of paid maternity leave in July 2015.  So, to also amend my previous statement to include that I think that's BS.

minskat30

I hear that @labro ... and I really respect (and want to put my money where my mouth is and financially support) the people who serve our country.  I also think women can more than hack it in the military.  I think a big part of the problem is somewhere down the line men heard/think "you want to be equal, I'll give you equal....do the same as me!"  THAT isn't equal.  Men's pensions, their retirement, their future troops, hell the entire economy as we know it is based on, guess what, babies!  Our system is built such that we need future generations to support it.  That isn't possible without kids, which isn't possible without women bearing those kids.  Why do women have to bear that burden alone and without a cost to society that they get to "capitalize" on so to speak?  When men can get pregnant and give birth so that family planning doesn't depend on a woman sacrificing her body (and, lets be honest, her sanity/emotions for quite some period of time) I say we can be equal on the issue of maternity leave.  Since men can't and men need those future generations, they have to realize that that "positive" comes at a cost they have to help pay for.  You can't have your cake and eat it too.  In my mind, it is the same argument military men make for people not wanting to pay for the military..."you want to be safe, but you don't want to pay for it"...well, "you want your pension/retirement/future, you have to pay for it too".

@futuremrshistorian - Nope, navy and marines already had it...this is a cut for the navy and the marines.  They are ever so generously (sarcasm here) letting women who are pregnant now still take the 18 weeks.

helloliv

@labro - I will have to let you know when I sit down and map out the garden this weekend! I DEFINITELY started too late last year, and I know they need to be staggered (I just planted everything at once last year). I'm planning to read lots of seed packets at Tractor Supply. I'll come back with my findings! I'm excited to use the little indoor greenhouse my folks got me for Christmas. 

@minksat30 - THANK YOU! I've been slacking some and this will give me the boost I need to keep going!

@southernpeach89 - Those are ADORABLE! Callie will have all the best homemade things between you and @labro! That's one lucky little girl!

@caseface - Ooh! I have to agree with you - totally digging the darker tan. 

[Deleted User]

@minskat30 - There's also a historical comparison here that's really interesting as well.  When Truman desegregated the Armed Forces, the Navy and Marines complied almost immediately, while the Army took significantly longer (and had to be threatened/forced/cajoled into true desegregation.)

labro

@minskat30 Tell all that to my dad. I'm definitely keeping your thoughts in mind for next time. I think what it comes down to is H and my dad don't think women belong in combat roles or roles where their ability to be there and perform at any time is affected by pregnancy or the birth of a child. I guess I'm playing devil's advocate today since I don't believe in these things. I have such a hard time putting myself in his shoes and I try to see it from his perspective as best as I can.

labro

@helloliv That's a good point. I also planted everything at the same time...OOPS. I am SUPER jealous of your greenhouse!! That's something I'd really really love to have. We have an avocado tree that I have to drag in on cold nights and it's basically permanently inside for the winter at this point because it can't take temps below the mid-40s/low 50s. A greenhouse would really help with that all (in Georgia anyway). I'm really excited for what I have to plan this year. I'll stick with some of the same things I had last year, and I'll actually get to harvest my rhubarb and asparagus this year! But I also got a bunch of free seed packets for some different pepper varieties, a pickling cucumber, and some other stuff!

minskat30

@labro - I can respect that (you playing devil's advocate).  I honestly, deep down, don't believe that men and women can do the exact same things equally if "equal" is measured by a man's standard (I think it is physically impossible in many circumstances (including basic biology)) but I do think men and women contribute equally valuable actions/perspective to the same situation and each has a valuable contribution to every situation.  Society right now doesn't place equal value on the contributions of women, however, even though society as we know it would fall apart without those contributions.  Women have been taught from an early age not to complain and yet it is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.   This is weighing heavily on my mind not just because I'm KU but because of my recent conversations with co-workers about maternity leave.  Since my run in with a co-worker I've been on a bit of a war path internally at the office.  

@futuremrshistorian - I didn't even consider that angle...interesting historical point.

eilis1228

Mother effer. 

I wrote a big post, responded to everyone, and then accidentally hit a button and everything disappeared. 

labro

@eilis1228 Oh nooooooooooooooo!!!! TK is just NOT having a very good day I think.

KeptInStitches

@swazzle, @goldenpenguin, @labro, @audrewuh, @southernpeach89 - have a fun weekend!

@southernpeach89, glad Callie's appointment went well!

@futuremrshistorian, hugs.

@cocobellaf, I'm jealous of your chocolate festival!

@minskat30, glad you're closer to done with the bathroom!

@cu97tiger, our Christmas decorations aren't down yet, either, so no judgement here.

@labro, pretty siding! Fingers crossed for your H.
---
I'm so freaking busy teaching! There's a lot of prep involved for me (I've never taught before, so I'm having to make my own materials, even having been provided stuff by other profs), grading (I don't have a grader), etc.

H's sister got married last weekend - here's my dress:


And here are H and I together:

untouchablets

@KeptInStitches You look amazing in that dress!

jenna8984

@minskat30 That's really awesome that you have the daycares narrowed down by recommendations already. I'm screwed because all my friends are stay at home moms, or use their parents for free, or if they do use a daycare it's 45 minutes away. So I'm like totally on my own for researching all the ones in my area.

minskat30

@KeptInStitches - You look GREAT in that dress.  I also love the necklace.  

labro

@KeptInStitches You look gorgeous in your dress! Your gloves remind me of my cotillion days lol!

LizzyTish88

@KeptInStitches Love your dress!You look great!!

speakeasy14

@KeptInStitches how was the wedding?!

jenna8984

@keptinstitches Looking goooood!

KeptInStitches

@speakeasy14 .... 

Ok, so here's what happened. The B&G didn't make reservations for the rehearsal dinner, so we waited at the restaurant of their choice for 2.5-3 hours before we were seated. (You will note the lightning is not striking me right now.) In the process of getting to the restaurant for the dinner, I fell down a flight of stairs. While wearing my winter boots. On my left ass-cheek. The bruise is step-sized and shaped, deep, and is healing slowly. Once I figured I hadn't broken anything, I looked at H and said "SIL can never know."

The day of the wedding H had to go get ready with the guys (yes, as an usher), so I had to be ready early because I couldn't zip my dress on my own. Whatever. I head over to the venue (thankfully it's connected to the hotel so I don't have to go outside and can take elevators and walk slowly) and end up having to help set up because they couldn't get into the space until 3 hours before the wedding. We didn't get enough information on what should go where and what tables are what number (we don't even have table numbers), so it's pretty disorganized but we pull it together.

The wedding was really quick - like I'm pretty sure it was over in 5-10 minutes. The ceremony included the officiant saying "By the power invested in my by [state] and the Internet ..." And the recessional was Crazy Train.

Appetizers are pretty darn good - smoked gouda balls, mini philly cheesesteak sandwiches, and salmon and dill cream cheese on crackers. Dinner is ok - beef tenderloin in vodka peppercorn sauce, roasted potatoes, and roast carrots. Very small portions, even for a wedding. The dessert is cheesecake and other small desserts (chocolate-dipped fruit, petit fours, etc.).

The DJ is decent but has everything turned up way too loud. It's a lot of clubbing music, which isn't my style but also wasn't my choice. He does take requests, and H puts in a song we can dance to, which allows us to show his family he actually can dance. (At one point, I dated a military guy - military ball = dancing, it's a survival skill.) Shut his stepdad up.

It was a nice wedding, it just in some ways didn't seem to line up with what they talked about. There was some disjointedness about it, but they're married and everyone is still speaking, so it's a success.

wink0erin

minskat30 said:

 I honestly, deep down, don't believe that men and women can do the exact same things equally if "equal" is measured by a man's standard 

Preach it! I agree 100%. Some things HAVE to be different (biologically.) Women not only birth babies, they feed them. So it's kind of vital for the woman to stay with her baby for some period of time after birth. It bothers me tremendously that there is no country-wide policy for paid maternity leave, and even the unpaid policy is lacking. 

speakeasy14

@KeptInStitches sounds like it was a lot better then you were anticipating at least! 

AlPacina

@swazzle – Those pancakes sound amazing! When my family goes camping my dad makes “camp cakes”, which have an egg and two strips of bacon cooked into them. SO GOOD. All the food for this weekend sounds incredible. Also, what is LRC? And who is Bruce?

@futuremrshistorian – I’m sorry that depression is hitting you so hard right now. Yoga sounds nice! My BF is doing a free trial on a yoga site right now and he’s really loving the videos.

@CocoBellaF – 10 samples? I know that’s more than enough chocolate, but for some reason that doesn’t SOUND like enough, haha.

@untouchablets – Omigosh, I hope you get to meet all those people at Westminster! Vizslas are so freaking gorgeous.

@labro – A million things have happened today, apparently!

@KeptInStitches – That dress is PERFECT for you!

---------------------

This morning has been incredible (in a demented kind of way). Let's just say there is a certain couple in my life that posts way too much lovey dovey stuff on Facebook for it to not be a bit of a ruse. Shit finally hit the fan, he caught her with another guy in a bathroom at a bar or something, and he kicked her out. In line with previous habits, the guy's FB posts have been following this sort of pattern:

Everyone needs to know she sucks

I gave her everything and she screwed me over

Tag her in a status telling her he misses her

And I'm just scrolling through like

This is one days worth. I'm sure they'll probably get back together, but no one will be able to forget the internet shit show.

speakeasy14

@AlPacina I love trainwreck internet couples! 

helloliv

@keptinstitches - You look gorgeous!!

labro

@AlPacina I live to see a shit throw down like that on my FB feed!