Bar question

[Deleted User]

Viczaesar said:

wink0erin said:

@adk19 If guests hoard all the drinks, then they are being rude. And if you as a guest decide to leave because the beer has run out, instead of drinking water or something non-alcoholic, then that is also your problem. Alcohol isn't a requirement for fun. I've been to dry weddings where there was a lot of dancing, and I've been to full-bar weddings where everyone stood by the bar and mingled instead of dancing. 

With a bartender filling drinks this hypothetical hoarding scenario likely wouldn't be a problem anyway. To avoid running out too soon, I believe there are calculators online to determine how much to have, and a lot of it is "know your crowd."

Friend of mine chose to limit alcohol because she KNEW her crowd was full of crazy drunks. No one hoarded, those who wanted to get drunk still got drunk, everyone still had a drink if they wanted one, and the alcohol was gone 3/4 into the reception. It was still a blast. 

It's poor hosting to not make sure that you have enough to offer the same thing for the entirety of the reception.

And that's my point.  I don't care if I'm drinking water for the entire reception because my options are soda and water and I don't drink soda.  I'm usually perfectly content with water, prefer it over most/all non-alcoholic drinks.  Completely fine.  But if I get one beer and enjoy it, then go to get a second beer and they're out, I'm going to go ahead and assume the party is winding down.  I'm not going to switch to water because it's my only option because of poor planning by the hosts, I'm going to say goodbye to the hosts and go post-party somewhere I can get a second beer.

SoldiersMom

Just going off the fact that OP has asked if guests can buy additional alcohol if they aren't satisfied with beer/wine/signature cocktail, it sounds like this isn't the type of venue that will allow her to provide her own alcohol. These types of places will work with you to give your guests what you can afford. That may end up being all bottom shelf alcohols or beer/wine/1-2 signature cocktails, but you never know until you tell them your budget constraints. The venue I chose has a beer and wine only package and it is $10 less per head. If you're inviting 150 people, that's saving $1500. Ask what they can do for you. When it comes to wedding planning, don't count anything out until you ask!

That being said, as a guest, I would be more than satisfied with beer and wine and/or a signature cocktail. You're still giving your guests options, but also making the choices much easier.

Viczaesar

wink0erin said:

@Viczaesar That's where calculators and "know your crowd" come into play. 

The motto "Once they're done, they're done" is incompatible with good hosting. 

wink0erin

@adk19 I was assuming your hypothetical beer-hoarding scenario, where a couple jerk guests decide to fill 20 cups each and keep them at their table like this is a frat party instead of a wedding. Of course the hosts should determine how much is needed to last the event, hence the calculator/"know your crowd" suggestions. If the host plans adequately and a couple guests are rude, how is that the host's fault? I would 100% blame the other guest if I were in that scenario. The only way I'd blame the host is if it was in the first hour of the reception, because clearly they hadn't planned properly in that case. 

It's more cost efficient to have kegs instead of bottles/cans. I'm not suggesting kegs in trash cans on the dance floor, usually they are kept behind the bar with the bartender.

wink0erin

Viczaesar said:

wink0erin said:

@Viczaesar That's where calculators and "know your crowd" come into play. 

The motto "Once they're done, they're done" is incompatible with good hosting. 

Clearly you have misunderstood my post. I'm not suggesting purposely cutting off alcohol before the event is over or planning it to run out quickly. If you are providing drinks (as in bringing them to the site) once they have all been used, there won't be any more. Unless you are able to turn water into wine or have a magical booze fountain, it's finite. 

Hence the importance of calculating how much you need based on what your crowd is likely to drink.

This really only applies if the host has to bring the alcohol to the venue. If the venue provides it, this does not apply. That's when you get into limited offerings (Beer and wine, no liquor) or choosing per head vs. consumption based billing. 

geebee908

wink0erin said:

I have a couple suggestions based on weddings I've attended, You could get a keg or two for beer, either the same one or two different options, and once they're done, they're done. As the PP said, buying wine over time or when there is a sale could help save costs. Pick 1 or 2 reds and 1 or 2  whites. Once everything runs out, no more drinks available. That way you aren't left with a surprise bill and none of your guests have to pay for anything. I've been to a few weddings with a signature cocktail or two options for cocktails. Signage indicated what was available. If your guests are rude about what you are offering, that is on them. (edit... I mean "on them" as in the rudeness is their problem, not "on them" as they can buy something else, that shouldn't even be an option)

Definitely have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages and water. 

One thing to consider is what requirements the venue has. Are there glassware restrictions? Where will the drinks be and how will they be kept cool? 

This sounds like you're advocating only buying the amount of beverage the budget allows which might not be enough for the number of guests, and when it's gone, it's gone. This would be poor hosting, and it's this impression people are objecting to.

drunkenwitch

I have been to open bar weddings, dry weddings, limited bar weddings and cash bar weddings. Guess which one I raised an eyebrow at, no guess,  I'll wait.

My point,  you don't need booze, or booze to flow freely. Oh sure, I like a drink at weddings but I would never judge a couple for having a dry reception. I do judge when I have to pay.

CattysMom

I know it's extremely rude to have a cash bar and is totally unacceptable, but in some countries, a cash bar at a wedding is completely normal and is the expected thing.  I have attended a few overseas weddings where this practice is acceptable and not rude at all.

CMGragain

Most of our advice on the Knot is for USA/Canada brides.  There are special boards to post advice for other cultures.  For instance, I wouldn't presume to give advice for a traditional Indian wedding, or a Chinese wedding, because I am not familiar with their culture and traditions.

Jen4948

CattysMom said:

I know it's extremely rude to have a cash bar and is totally unacceptable, but in some countries, a cash bar at a wedding is completely normal and is the expected thing.  I have attended a few overseas weddings where this practice is acceptable and not rude at all.

But that doesn't excuse it in Western countries, where as you say, it is extremely rude and totally unacceptable.