Announcing an Unplugged Ceremony

holyguacamole79

sparklepants41 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

Whenever I hear referenced to an "unplugged" wedding, I think of this ...  
 

That, and I laugh at the idea of wanting the guests to be "fully present".  Are you afraid that they are goinng to show up without an arm?  I mean, unless there is a major amputation prior to your wedding, I doubt anyone wouldn't be "fully present".

</end snark>

And what about those of us without tonsils/adenoids? Do I have to wait outside until the ceremony is over because there is no way for me to be fully present?

Shit.  I had my tonsils / adenoids removed when I was 8.  I've NEVER been present for a wedding (not even my own).  DO OVER!!!

madamerwin

horriblegb said:

Kind of off topic, what about asking people to silence their cell phones?  Is this not ok either?  Is it appropriate to have the officiant do this prior to the ceremony?  Or not at all? 

Had not really thought about it until this post, but remembered the horrible photo taking noise my mom's phone camera has . . . I don't know if it really matters though . . .

I don't see a problem with the officiant reminding people to silence their phones at the beginning of the ceremony.

horriblegb

@holyguacamole79 that is what I was thinking as well. 

It is one of those things, like, in a movie, I am that person that gets irrationally mad at someone texting, but doesn't say anything.  So I thought of it. 

But really, I think once I am in the moment I would not notice.  I would just hate to get irrationally angry at someone's phone ringing, but I guess that is my problem? Ha!

KnickerGold

madamerwin said:

horriblegb said:

Kind of off topic, what about asking people to silence their cell phones?  Is this not ok either?  Is it appropriate to have the officiant do this prior to the ceremony?  Or not at all? 

Had not really thought about it until this post, but remembered the horrible photo taking noise my mom's phone camera has . . . I don't know if it really matters though . . .

I don't see a problem with the officiant reminding people to silence their phones at the beginning of the ceremony.

Never been to a mass where they don't do this, so I would assume the priest would do it the day of a wedding as well- whether or not we advised him we wanted everyone to be 'fully present'.

Of course, this is not possible as FI had his appendix out- so he won't be fully present

thefanciestbeckler

Here's the thing - you WILL NOT care or even notice if your guests have their phones or cameras out during the ceremony. Why don't you just focus on you "being present" and let your guests do as they please?

My husband's cousin took my favorite picture from the entire wedding day from the first row- the moment our pastor pronounced us. Even the photographer didn't capture this exact moment:



ETA words

holyguacamole79

horriblegb said:

@holyguacamole79 that is what I was thinking as well. 

It is one of those things, like, in a movie, I am that person that gets irrationally mad at someone texting, but doesn't say anything.  So I thought of it. 

But really, I think once I am in the moment I would not notice.  I would just hate to get irrationally angry at someone's phone ringing, but I guess that is my problem? Ha!

Do you have an Alamo Drafthouse movie theater in your area?  They have a VERY strict no talking / no phone policy.  If someone complains, you get a warning.  If there is a 2nd complaint, you are told to leave w/o a refund.

AddieCake

I gagged and was unable to continue reading after "be present."

glasgowtolondon

OP on her wedding day like:

banana468

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

Jen4948

horriblegb said:

Kind of off topic, what about asking people to silence their cell phones?  Is this not ok either?  Is it appropriate to have the officiant do this prior to the ceremony?  Or not at all? 

Had not really thought about it until this post, but remembered the horrible photo taking noise my mom's phone camera has . . . I don't know if it really matters though . . .

Since this is done at plays, movies, and concerts, I think it's ok for your officiant to make an announcement asking people to silence their cell phones and to have this in a program, as long as there is no mention of "being present" or "in the moment."  

horriblegb

@holyguacamole79 apparently it is coming soon, so not soon enough!

wmam35

Everytime I see this type of post I can't help but ask myself "Why is this a thing?"  I have NEVER been to a wedding where people were crawling all over each other to dive into the aisle to take pictures while standing directly in front of the professional photographer and have thus ruined the couple's entire wedding and marriage forever and ever. 

And also, if you tell me to "be fully present" and put away my phone, I'm going to roll my eyes at you.  And because, barf on your romantic mushy wedding vows.  Unless you're reciting the wedding vows from the beginning of Wedding Crashers in an ironic way, I'm not interested.  I love ceremonies.  But even a "short" ceremony (and short is a relative term, BTW) can be too much and the mind will wander. 

Also, if I am at a wedding, chances are I've got a babysitter at home, and my babysitter being able to get in contact with me is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO ME than your wedding ceremony.  Sorrynotsorry.

ShesSoCold

banana468 said:

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

This. There were gigantic spiders on the outsides of the windows H and I stood in front of during our ceremony. I couldn't stop looking at or thinking about those bastards.

ETA: I didn't read "men" in your post at first. But I was definitely distracted by humongous spiders.

banana468

ShesSoCold said:

banana468 said:

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

This. There were gigantic spiders on the outsides of the windows H and I stood in front of during our ceremony. I couldn't stop looking at or thinking about those bastards.

ETA: I didn't read "men" in your post at first. But I was definitely distracted by humongous spiders.

I was really referring to the idea of "fully present" = "nothing removed".   I'm thinking many American men can't claim such a thing.

But yes, few people are fully present.   DH and I were occupied with him just staying conscious. 

ShesSoCold

banana468 said:

ShesSoCold said:

banana468 said:

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

This. There were gigantic spiders on the outsides of the windows H and I stood in front of during our ceremony. I couldn't stop looking at or thinking about those bastards.

ETA: I didn't read "men" in your post at first. But I was definitely distracted by humongous spiders.

I was really referring to the idea of "fully present" = "nothing removed".   I'm thinking many American men can't claim such a thing.

But yes, few people are fully present.   DH and I were occupied with him just staying conscious. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I gotcha now!!!!

spockforprez

banana468 said:

ShesSoCold said:

banana468 said:

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

This. There were gigantic spiders on the outsides of the windows H and I stood in front of during our ceremony. I couldn't stop looking at or thinking about those bastards.

ETA: I didn't read "men" in your post at first. But I was definitely distracted by humongous spiders.

I was really referring to the idea of "fully present" = "nothing removed".   I'm thinking many American men can't claim such a thing.

But yes, few people are fully present.   DH and I were occupied with him just staying conscious. 

LMFAO. Circumcision humor. There is nothing that TK can't deliver!

madamerwin

ShesSoCold said:

banana468 said:

I'm willing to bet that there are many American men who aren't "fully present" at their own weddings.....

This. There were gigantic spiders on the outsides of the windows H and I stood in front of during our ceremony. I couldn't stop looking at or thinking about those bastards.

ETA: I didn't read "men" in your post at first. But I was definitely distracted by humongous spiders.

Off topic, but this reminds me: During our ceremony, our ring bearer - H's five year-old nephew - saw a spider on the ground, crawling slowly toward H. Nephew very loudly whispered "Uncle B, there is a spider crawling toward you!" while pointing to it. We all stopped so H could dispose of it. It was hilarious. 

Sherbie25

glasgowtolondon said:

OP on her wedding day like:

I can't stop laughing at this!

softkittywarmkitty

Also slightly off topic ( and a thread hijack, sorry) my venue only allows the in house photographer to take pictures during the ceremony. How do I word this to people? I know they do it so you have to use their photographer but I still have to tell people

ShesSoCold

softkittywarmkitty said:

Also slightly off topic ( and a thread hijack, sorry) my venue only allows the in house photographer to take pictures during the ceremony. How do I word this to people? I know they do it so you have to use their photographer but I still have to tell people

I would verify what, exactly, this means. I'd be willing to bet that it means you cannot have other professional photographers there, not that guests can't take their own pictures,

floridabride44

wmam35 said:

Everytime I see this type of post I can't help but ask myself "Why is this a thing?"  I have NEVER been to a wedding where people were crawling all over each other to dive into the aisle to take pictures while standing directly in front of the professional photographer and have thus ruined the couple's entire wedding and marriage forever and ever. 

And also, if you tell me to "be fully present" and put away my phone, I'm going to roll my eyes at you.  And because, barf on your romantic mushy wedding vows.  Unless you're reciting the wedding vows from the beginning of Wedding Crashers in an ironic way, I'm not interested.  I love ceremonies.  But even a "short" ceremony (and short is a relative term, BTW) can be too much and the mind will wander. 

Also, if I am at a wedding, chances are I've got a babysitter at home, and my babysitter being able to get in contact with me is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO ME than your wedding ceremony.  Sorrynotsorry.

One article written by a shitty photographer with all of these shitty photos that he/she claimed were made shitty by guest interference. It made the rounds and incited paranoia and that's what made "Unplugged Weddings" a thing.

After we booked our photographer I saw she shared that article on her Facebook page and I thought, "if this lady tries to suggest this to me I'm firing her. I don't care if I lose my deposit." Thankfully, she didn't.

I loved having photos taken by our guests immediately after the wedding. If we did a lame "Unplugged Wedding" we would have had no photos for several months after the wedding, while we waited for our photographer to give us ours. 

KnickerGold

ShesSoCold said:

softkittywarmkitty said:

Also slightly off topic ( and a thread hijack, sorry) my venue only allows the in house photographer to take pictures during the ceremony. How do I word this to people? I know they do it so you have to use their photographer but I still have to tell people

I would verify what, exactly, this means. I'd be willing to bet that it means you cannot have other professional photographers there, not that guests can't take their own pictures,

That would be my guess!

softkittywarmkitty

KnickerGold said:

ShesSoCold said:

softkittywarmkitty said:

Also slightly off topic ( and a thread hijack, sorry) my venue only allows the in house photographer to take pictures during the ceremony. How do I word this to people? I know they do it so you have to use their photographer but I still have to tell people

I would verify what, exactly, this means. I'd be willing to bet that it means you cannot have other professional photographers there, not that guests can't take their own pictures,

That would be my guess!

They don't want guests taking picture IDK why they would care, but their venue, their rules I guess. 

Etf typo

ernursej

I actually appreciate the reminders to turn my cell off/to silent. I wouldn't mind that being said just prior to the ceremony starting. I would be mortified if my phone ever went off during something special. I'm not sure how I feel about the unplugged request. I think that adults can manage their own behaviours but I have actually sat behind a lady who obscured my view with her iPad for the entire ceremony filming it and taking stills. I would probably still choose not to say anything if it was my wedding.

madamerwin

softkittywarmkitty said:

KnickerGold said:

ShesSoCold said:

softkittywarmkitty said:

Also slightly off topic ( and a thread hijack, sorry) my venue only allows the in house photographer to take pictures during the ceremony. How do I word this to people? I know they do it so you have to use their photographer but I still have to tell people

I would verify what, exactly, this means. I'd be willing to bet that it means you cannot have other professional photographers there, not that guests can't take their own pictures,

That would be my guess!

They don't want guests taking picture IDK why they would care, but their venue, their rules I guess. 

Etf typo

I am curious how they would actually enforce this... Like, if it's the middle of the ceremony, and they see a guest taking a photo, are they going to interrupt to kick the guest out? This seems like an odd and unenforceable policy. It would make sense if they meant other professional photographers, but guests? Weird.

holyguacamole79

@horriblegb, you'll love it!   The quote-alongs are SO MUCH FUN! 

wmam35

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about.  I hate that article. 

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have.  Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

YogaSandy

Knottie1440365793 said:

Hi all,

My fiance and I have decided to have an unplugged ceremony because we really want people to be present during the ceremony. It'll be short and my fiance and I are not big fans of publicly pronouncing emotion, so this will likely be the only chance people get to hear us be super mushy and romantic. But, we want people to feel free to take pictures and whatnot after the ceremony (we are having a hashtag!), so I'm a little unsure about the proper way to announce this since it's not an entirely unplugged wedding. 

Here are my thoughts: I'll add a note on the website in the details about the wedding section (right next to where I let the guests know that the ceremony and cocktail hour will be on the grass) and say something like "We would love if you all could put your phones away during the ceremony so that we can all fully share in making it official." Also, I'm not doing programs, but instead having a big sign before guests get to their seats, so I was going to add a little reminder there as well. 

Let me know what you all think. (I know not to put it on the actual invites.) I know the wording of how I phrase it is very important, so any feedback you have would be great. Thanks!

No. 
I'm a yoga and meditation teacher. I get the importance of being present. However, you cannot force it upon anyone else. Even if I'm not on my phone, there are a million things that could be preoccupying my mind (is DS behaving? Do I look fat? God I have to pee? What's for dinner? What chores do I have to do tomorrow?) that will keep me from being "fully present" just as much, if not more, than my phone. That's my problem. Not yours. Are you going to micromanage my thoughts to ensure I'm fully present - since that's the justification given for unplugged. Sounds a little 1984. 

YogaSandy

floridabride44 said:

wmam35 said:

Everytime I see this type of post I can't help but ask myself "Why is this a thing?"  I have NEVER been to a wedding where people were crawling all over each other to dive into the aisle to take pictures while standing directly in front of the professional photographer and have thus ruined the couple's entire wedding and marriage forever and ever. 

And also, if you tell me to "be fully present" and put away my phone, I'm going to roll my eyes at you.  And because, barf on your romantic mushy wedding vows.  Unless you're reciting the wedding vows from the beginning of Wedding Crashers in an ironic way, I'm not interested.  I love ceremonies.  But even a "short" ceremony (and short is a relative term, BTW) can be too much and the mind will wander. 

Also, if I am at a wedding, chances are I've got a babysitter at home, and my babysitter being able to get in contact with me is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO ME than your wedding ceremony.  Sorrynotsorry.

One article written by a shitty photographer with all of these shitty photos that he/she claimed were made shitty by guest interference. It made the rounds and incited paranoia and that's what made "Unplugged Weddings" a thing.

After we booked our photographer I saw she shared that article on her Facebook page and I thought, "if this lady tries to suggest this to me I'm firing her. I don't care if I lose my deposit." Thankfully, she didn't.

I loved having photos taken by our guests immediately after the wedding. If we did a lame "Unplugged Wedding" we would have had no photos for several months after the wedding, while we waited for our photographer to give us ours. 

DH is an amateur photographer. He has done a wedding. His mentor was my brother's wedding photographer. He is fabulous. However, we live in a very small, very rural community, so photographer has a day job (def not enough work as a photog). He therefore, takes a very long time to edit and get pics back. 

We we left my brother's wedding early in the evening. We went home so he could stay up ridiculously late editing the pics he took so SIL (wasn't as nearly important to my brother) could have a bunch of beautiful, close to professional quality, wedding pics the next day. She cried when we went over the next morning. I think she loved getting them more than any of the presents they received. At one point (it's been a few years) there was one of DH's that was her favourite. 

Unplugged - she would have missed out on that. But, she's awesome and doesn't tell grown ups how to behave. 

pinupbride6189

wmam35 said:

Ugh @floridabride44 I know exactly what article you're talking about.  I hate that article. 

I still just don't understand this paranoia people have.  Like if you think your guests are so stupid and rude that they don't know how to take a picture without getting in the way, or will have their faces glued to their phone the entire ceremony (is that really a thing???), why are you such good friends with them that they're at your wedding?

First of all, I'm not condoning the "Unplugged Wedding," nor do I intend to have one, and I actually look forward to seeing the cell phone pics guests take! But.  One of FI's grandfathers is actually this rude and self-absorbed. Despite numerous people asking him to sit down and get out of the way at FBIL's hockey tournament recently, he stood and walked in front of the glass the entire game taking pictures and blocking the view of everyone behind him. I'm very nervous that, for example, right as FI and I kiss at the end of the ceremony, that he'll jump into the aisle to take pictures and block the photographer/everyone behind him.  If we didn't have to invite him, we most definitely wouldn't because he's a pretty despicable person in general, but family politics being what they are...