HELP !
FI and his GM's went suit shopping this week. Our theme is black and white, going for chic elegant. Girls dresses are black, floor length. Guys suits are to be black, and all the decor is black and white except for a tad of greenery to liven it up.
All the plans are laid out when suddenly.... he now wants to go with blue suits... What do I do?
Don't get me wrong, blue suits can be sharp as heck, but I just don't see it fitting with the theme. I've tried picturing it and it's just clashing in my mind.
Any suggestions on how I can make this work or how to convince him otherwise... He has all the guys on his side and my only trump card is that I'm helping to pay for the suits (which I don't want to be a b**** and shove it in their faces, but this is a bit upsetting).
Re: FI wants to change colors
If you did sit down with him and actually select colors together, then just sit down again and told him you both already came to a joint decision and, especially if the girls already have their dresses, explain why it wouldn't work. Maybe ask him if he'd prefer grey over black, since that could still work.
But even if you did discuss it, if your BMs don't have their dresses, I'd talk about it with him some more. It's his wedding, too, which many women seem to forget.
Also, that would be incredibly mean for you to say that you're helping to pay. I'm not even sure what that means, since presumably you're paying for the wedding together and generally joining finances, but either way, that's just a shitty way to treat your partner.
Yes, the BMs have their dresses (well, they're ordered).
We had originally said grey or black for the suits, and he was really into it, wants black bowties and the whole clean look. So I was pretty surprised when he came home with the blue suit and brown shoes idea.
As for that last part, I'm sorry I wrote that, I was a bit upset as I was writing this and that shouldn't even be a deciding factor, I know.
So I mean I would talk to him, remind him that you already agreed to certain colors, and that your BMs already ordered their black dresses, which means there's no turning back now. You can ask if there's something wrong or if a GM was giving him a hard time - maybe one of them really liked blue and swayed him, and he got caught up.
And maybe go with him (just him, no groomsmen) to try on suits and show him the shades of grey he could use? Kind of just tell him he looks good/encourage him in the black or grey and remind him that's what you agreed on?
I mean, in conflict in general, my advice is always to stay calm, not yell, and talk it through. Hopefully he'll realize that now is not a good time to go back on everything you agreed on. I feel like if I laid that out to FI, he would like oh yeah duh, nevermind.
Good luck!
FI is actually surprisingly good when it comes to fashion and color-matching, or he comes to me for my opinion on practically everything he wears to dinners and such, so like I said I was really surprised by this.
We haven't argued about it or anything, I try to keep a level head and as he says "what's getting upset going to change about any situation"... but I just don't feel like I'm getting through to him. He agrees that the girls dresses will grossly overpower the blue suits, but he wants to do it anyway
I told him I might maybe perhaps be swayed if they would still do black bowties and black shoes... even at that though I don't love it... but he thinks brown goes with blue. Which it does.. just not for this event?
here's the dress for the girls, simple and elegant (i think) and I just don't see anything other than a black or a grey matching with it
He grew up in the country and said that he feels like he has a new life with me and wants to express that by doing it city style, glass hall, black tie, martinis and oyster bar, scotch selection (get the picture?)... he came to this conclusion all on his own and I just agreed (I was surprised actually, but very happy!).
So now that we had decided everything, for him to change his mind is kinda throwing me a curveball. I'm not 100% opposed to the idea, if that's what he wants then in the end i'll make it work... I just think, before its too late to go back, that we really need to think about it because at this time, I dislike the idea of all black and white... then 7 blue guys...
Is it sort of like these? (I can't tell if this is more navy)
Alternatively maybe you can see if your FI would be ok sticking with the black/gray suits and going with some blue accents (tie/vest) and adding some blue to the bridesmaid bouquets and centerpieces. I think black and white with just a bit of color looks great.
Sorry, I can't seem to add the image.
I'm sorry that this has happened. I think it would be very frustrating to have thought that things were organized only to have it changed. I think that blue suits could still fit into your theme. I would counter back with nixing the brown shoes in favour of black shoes and including a ribbon or flower into the maids bouquets in the same blue shade. I don't think you have to include any other splashes of blue, but if you have other floral arrangements, make the same inclusions and you'll be set. Good luck and I hope that things work out!