Catholic Weddings

BM in a Sunday Wedding

Hi all,

I don't know if this is a huge issue yet or not, but I just realized today that a non-Catholic DW I am in as a BM this summer falls on a Sunday. The rehearsal starts at 4pm the day before, so I don't think I can make Saturday Mass. The wedding itself doesn't start until 4:30 pm on the Sunday, but I checked the local church online, and it only has one Mass at 10:30am, and will take a while to get to from our hotel and back (the location is an island and cars aren't allowed). When I talked with the other BMs (we are all pretty good friends), there is an expectation that we'll be spending most of the day ahead preparing for the wedding time together -- getting hair and make-up done, and just time spent hanging out. I definitely plan on attending Mass, but I am trying to figure out a tactful way to approach my friends and the bride about how this is something I really need and want to do, even if I have to miss out on some prep time. Anybody else been in a similar situation?
                    


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Re: BM in a Sunday Wedding

  • Never been in that situation in particular, but I have been on vacations with people and had to let them know that I needed to go to mass.

    Just be honest, and I'm sure they'll understand.  Just do your best to be there as much as you can.  But it's not required for you to be there the whole time.  You just need to figure out how long it will realistically take to do hair/make-up.  One of my maids of honor was only with us for an hour or two getting ready.  She had to leave to go pick up her date who lived really far away.  It wasn't a big deal... she showed up to the wedding on time, and everything was fine!

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  • You're also traveling, which means that the obligation is looser than usual. Go to a weekday Mass before or after the weekend and pray for the newlyweds.
  • @IrishPirate60, I may be wrong, but I thought you only got a traveler's dispensation for special circumstances such as when you can't reasonably figure out where a Church is/ what time Mass is/ and have no reasonable means of getting there? One time I was in Rome with a tour group and even though there were Churches everywhere and I did attend a Mass on a weekday, I ended up missing Sunday Mass because I lost track of time. We were pretty busy touring every day, but I did have free time each day also, and could have planned a Sunday Mass if I had been on top of things better. When I talked to my priest when I came home, he said I didn't get retroactive dispensation since it wasn't so much a lack of ability that prevented me from going to Mass as a lack of reasonable diligence, and so I went to confession for it.  
                        


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  • Yeah, I think there's a certain mileage radius for the travel dispensation.

    I would just be transparent with your friends.  Let them know that you'll have to duck out for 2 hours or so.  
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