"Rude things people said during your engagement"

spockforprez

Found this thread on WB. There's never any excuse for rudeness, but you can understand some of these...

These are all the same bee:

• My BFF (no longer BFF) was completely rude and distant our whole planning. She was unresponsive and cold. When I texted her to tell to say “I found my dress!!” she didn’t respond for days and when I finally asked her if she got that text she responded “I’m away right now enjoying a much needed family vacation and I am responding to my messages in priority sequence.” (see how I have that burned into my brain?…) Damn, burn!    I wish I had the backbone of this BFF! 
• Our friends bashed us behind our backs our whole engagement and wedding for being too excited. "Too excited" sounds like code for talking about your wedding constantly and I agree, it's very annoying. No wonder your BFF was unresponsive to your barrage of wedding texts.
• A GM missed our rehearsal dinner last minute to be part of a flash mob with his pilates instructor (you can’t make this shit up) Sounds like an awesome once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, unlike a rehearsal dinner that isn't even a requirement.
• After the wedding: I still 3 years later hear about how hot it was that day (outdoor wedding) – “hottest day of the year! brahahaha” …yeah whatever…we gave you fans and water and shade, relax it’s over now Yes... guests remember when you treat them rudely and make them sit outside in 95+ degree weather...

lightningsnow

I read that post earlier today and I couldn't believe some of the posts by people. Entitled much?

CMGragain

Ah, you have found the speshul snowflake factory!  I wondered when they came from.

ernursej

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

[Deleted User]

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

sparklepants41

adk19 said:

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

People said this to H & I when we got engaged, as we had been dating for over a decade (we met in HS). It was annoying, but I usually dismissed it by saying "Good things come to those who wait" or "He is worth the wait" or something along these lines.

But the most obnoxious of all was when SIL's mother (SIL is married to H's brother) actually said - after H & I got married, mind you - "I wouldn't have waited. I would have given him an ultimatum or kicked him to the curb years ago." She's a peach.

[Deleted User]

sparklepants41 said:

adk19 said:

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

People said this to H & I when we got engaged, as we had been dating for over a decade (we met in HS). It was annoying, but I usually dismissed it by saying "Good things come to those who wait" or "He is worth the wait" or something along these lines.

But the most obnoxious of all was when SIL's mother (SIL is married to H's brother) actually said - after H & I got married, mind you - "I wouldn't have waited. I would have given him an ultimatum or kicked him to the curb years ago." She's a peach.

Gargh!  Lovely.  I actually CHOSE this, thankyouverymuch.  He asked several years ago if I wanted a house or a ring.  I chose the house.  I have a house.  I have a yard with a vegetable garden.  I have living room furniture and a dining room table.  I have a king size bed in my bedroom and a fully decked out spare room with a queen size Sleep Number bed.  I have a man who is dedicated to me and loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  The ring, the engagement, and the wedding can wait.  So "finally" my ass!

VicTim328

The Monday after FI and I got engaged, I was telling my co-workers about everything that happened, when the new girl (who knew FI from school) came over and took one look at my ring (I have a band, and FI and I discussed getting the traditional rings backwards because of finances).  She took her ring off her hand, put it on mine, and said "he could have gone to the outlet and gotten you a better ring for under $300." Her finger had a nice green circle on it.  I was fuming, but politely said "He had a lot of things to consider, including my skin allergies. I appreciate everything he's done and took into consideration."

tigerlily6

We didn't do a traditional proposal and didn't get my ring re-sized to wear for a while (it was an heirloom and didn't fit). When one of my friends asked how he "popped the question" and I explained that he didn't, but we had a conversation and came to the mutual decision that we were engaged, she actually responded "Lame! Tell him he has to redo!" 

Um, sorry?

ernursej

tigerlily6 said:

We didn't do a traditional proposal and didn't get my ring re-sized to wear for a while (it was an heirloom and didn't fit). When one of my friends asked how he "popped the question" and I explained that he didn't, but we had a conversation and came to the mutual decision that we were engaged, she actually responded "Lame! Tell him he has to redo!" 

Um, sorry?

We had a very similar story and I was actually really happy that it wasn't this big production.

lnixon8

VicTim328 said:

The Monday after FI and I got engaged, I was telling my co-workers about everything that happened, when the new girl (who knew FI from school) came over and took one look at my ring (I have a band, and FI and I discussed getting the traditional rings backwards because of finances).  She took her ring off her hand, put it on mine, and said "he could have gone to the outlet and gotten you a better ring for under $300." Her finger had a nice green circle on it.  I was fuming, but politely said "He had a lot of things to consider, including my skin allergies. I appreciate everything he's done and took into consideration."

I have a solitaire engagement ring with a thin white gold band. My wedding band is exactly the same as my E-ring just without the diamond (thin white gold band). An acquaintance (23 year old)  asked if I could only have a plain band and e-ring because we ran out of money wedding planning. The diamond on my e-ring is more than 2 carats.

thisismynickname2

To the ladies who have been with their significant others, not engaged, for 5+, 8+, 10+ years.... 

Just kidding. My BFF got engaged after about 9 years and pretty much everyone was saying the whole "finally" business to both of them. It was known that she had been wanting to get engaged for several years though. Even the best men's toast (the groom's brothers) joked about the length of time dating. The older brother had dated a woman for 11 years before proposing so it was an [awkward] family joke. 

Some of the ring comments are just heinous!  I wanted a Princess Diana/Kate Middleton-esque ring, which I got. When I told my sister we were getting engaged and what kind of ring I wanted, I didn't get "Wow, congrats!" or anything. I got, "Are you sure you can live with that the rest of your life?" Um, thanks. 

InLoveInQueens

My favorite comment was "Oh you can't do that!" when I talked about how excited I was for my simple City Hall wedding and lunch for our guests afterwards. "You can't buy your dress online!" Watch me, Macy's, on sale, boom done. "You can't do your own makeup!" Nope, I spent enough money at Sephora and time practicing that I feel confident that I can, thanks. "You can't wear shoes with cats on them" I think I can and I freaking will. "You can't see each other beforehand" we didn't spend all that money on a photographer to not get pictures around the City and we're also not dragging our families all around while we take our pictures, so we're doing them early and we're getting ready together, should we be blindfolded?

I also have been told "Oh a cruise honeymoon is so cheap and common, you know what you should do? You should rent a boat in Greece for two weeks and just sail around". ...I had no response to that. We leave for our [cruise] honeymoon on Sunday and I couldn't be more excited.

lovemesomemonster

adk19 said:

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

We dated for 6 years and had been living together for 5.5, owned two houses together and got the "finally" comment from almost everyone. But everyone was genuinely excited for us so I just took it for what it was. Married after over 7 years together and it couldn't have been more perfect.

[Deleted User]

1) "So lame.  No engagement ring and no proposal story.*" (more on this in a sec).  18 months later, still no ring and no proposal story.  Get over it.

2) "You HAVE to wear heels for a wedding."  I'm wearing tennis shoes with memory foam soles.  I just much prefer comfort over fashion.  Besides, who's looking under my dress?

3) "You need to put this, this, and this expensive, unnecessary thing on your registry."  We have lived together 3+ years and have most of what we need.  On top of that, we are quite the low-maintenance, no-flair couple.

4) After inquiring details about our wedding dinner and finding out there will be no alcohol, receiving a very judgmental, mouth-agape expression from my aunt as if I told her some devastating news.

5) "You HAVE to have someone walk you down the aisle.  Some things need to stay traditional."  Same aunt.  I am walking alone, the way I always felt I have until I unite with my FI at the altar.  He will walk with me forever, so I can manage to walk alone one this one last time.

We don't have a proposal story because we don't need one.  We met in 4th grade, 20 years ago.  He moved away and came back into the picture when I was 15 and we became nerdy friends.  After high school graduation we lost touch.  A year after college graduation, we reconnected on Facebook and finally started dating months later.  A year after that, I CAUGHT THE BOUQUET AT HIS MOM'S WEDDING.  We had the marriage talk that night and decided to get married in 6 years.  This was 6 months into our relationship.  Our wedding is in 36 days.  No proposal needed because who else has that story??

Updated for errors

ernursej

adk19 said:

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

I've just come up with my reply of "No, not finally, just the perfect timing". Most people realize that their statement was rude and move forward with more polite things to say.

ready2wed59

Jazzykins87 said:

1) "So lame.  No engagement ring and no proposal story.*" (more on this in a sec).  18 months later, still no ring and no proposal story.  Get over it.

2) "You HAVE to wear heels for a wedding."  I'm wearing tennis shoes with memory foam soles.  I just much prefer comfort over fashion.  Besides, who's looking under my dress?

3) "You need to put this, this, and this expensive, unnecessary thing on your registry."  We have lived together 3+ years and have most of what we need.  On top of that, we are quite the low-maintenance, no-flair couple.

4) After inquiring details about our wedding dinner and finding out there will be no alcohol, receiving a very judgmental, mouth-agape expression from my aunt as if I told her some devastating news.

5) "You HAVE to have someone walk you down the aisle.  Some things need to stay traditional."  Same aunt.  I am walking alone, the way I always felt I have until I unite with my FI at the altar.  He will walk with me forever, so I can manage to walk alone one this one last time.

We don't have a proposal story because we don't need one.  We met in 4th grade, 20 years ago.  He moved away and came back into the picture when I was 15 and we became nerdy friends.  After high school graduation we lost touch.  A year after college graduation, we reconnected on Facebook and finally started dating months later.  A year after that, I CAUGHT THE BOUQUET AT HIS MOM'S WEDDING.  We had the marriage talk that night and decided to get married in 6 years.  This was 6 months into our relationship.  Our wedding is in 36 days.  No proposal needed because who else has that story??

Updated for errors

I LOVE this story! So unique! Who needs a fancy proposal story when you have a LIFE story like that?!

lightningsnow

lovemesomemonster said:

adk19 said:

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm curious about this myself.  FH and I have been dating for nearly 8 years.  We are not engaged or planning a wedding.  I'm SURE people will be doing the "finally" thing with us too.  I'm not sure if I want to deal with it.

We dated for 6 years and had been living together for 5.5, owned two houses together and got the "finally" comment from almost everyone. But everyone was genuinely excited for us so I just took it for what it was. Married after over 7 years together and it couldn't have been more perfect.

*Stuck in box*

BF and I will have been dating for 7 years come this May. An engagement is no where near happening. We have had comments from family and friends about when it's going to happen and it used to rile me up. But not anymore.

debbeau

I was married before. Divorced 7 years before meeting my DH. When friends asked about plans for the wedding and I said I was not sure his one friend would always say "well it's not like you haven't done this before". 

scrunchythief

ernursej said:

I love the rudeness that comes when people say "finally" about me and my Fiancé getting engaged. No finally about it ... just the right timing. Annoying and rude.

I'm so glad I read this here first.  It hasn't come up for me yet, but I love weddings, and might've excitedly said "finally" to a friend.  From me, it'd be out of excitement, but I'm glad I know better now!  Potential awkward turtle avoided:)

ahoywedding

ernursej said:

tigerlily6 said:

We didn't do a traditional proposal and didn't get my ring re-sized to wear for a while (it was an heirloom and didn't fit). When one of my friends asked how he "popped the question" and I explained that he didn't, but we had a conversation and came to the mutual decision that we were engaged, she actually responded "Lame! Tell him he has to redo!" 

Um, sorry?

We had a very similar story and I was actually really happy that it wasn't this big production.

I'm in the "no fancy engagement story" club too. We both decided it was the right thing to do and I'd rather take a fun vacation than have a ring.

He DID stick a post-it to the dog that said "Will you marry me?" and had the yes/no check boxes. The dog messed up his part by meandering around the house instead of coming right to me, so I was just kind of like "what is stuck on the dog??" but I guess that's a cute story

kimmiinthemitten

I'm 36 and was the perpetually single girl before FI (I had relationships here and there but only one other BF ever met family) so my "finally" is because I think everyone thought I'd be single forever, as if there is something wrong with that.

I'd rather be a "finally" getting married over an "eventually" getting divorced because I married the wrong guy.

tigerlily6

ahoywedding said:

ernursej said:

tigerlily6 said:

We didn't do a traditional proposal and didn't get my ring re-sized to wear for a while (it was an heirloom and didn't fit). When one of my friends asked how he "popped the question" and I explained that he didn't, but we had a conversation and came to the mutual decision that we were engaged, she actually responded "Lame! Tell him he has to redo!" 

Um, sorry?

We had a very similar story and I was actually really happy that it wasn't this big production.

I'm in the "no fancy engagement story" club too. We both decided it was the right thing to do and I'd rather take a fun vacation than have a ring.

He DID stick a post-it to the dog that said "Will you marry me?" and had the yes/no check boxes. The dog messed up his part by meandering around the house instead of coming right to me, so I was just kind of like "what is stuck on the dog??" but I guess that's a cute story

That is super sweet! I'm a sap for any pet stories, and could definitely see my own dog doing the same thing. Super cute!

SP29

DH and I were also together a long time before getting engaged (started dating in highscool)- so we also got the "when are you getting married?".

But just you wait. Once you get married then its, "When are you having kids?" And that one time you say no to a drink, "OMG- Are you pregnant???". UGH.

kimmiinthemitten

SP29 said:

DH and I were also together a long time before getting engaged (started dating in highscool)- so we also got the "when are you getting married?".

But just you wait. Once you get married then its, "When are you having kids?" And that one time you say no to a drink, "OMG- Are you pregnant???". UGH.

That's why you don't turn down drinks.

lembaslover

SP29 said:

DH and I were also together a long time before getting engaged (started dating in highscool)- so we also got the "when are you getting married?".

But just you wait. Once you get married then its, "When are you having kids?" And that one time you say no to a drink, "OMG- Are you pregnant???". UGH.

The bolded statement!! Usually at dinner with DH's parents I'll have a drink, either a glass of wine or cocktail depending on the meal. Well one time I honestly just didn't feel like it and I got like the 3rd degree from my MIL over whether I was pregnant or not. So I learned my lesson, always have a drink with the ILs. However now DH and I are wondering how we will pull off TTC this summer... 

Also DH's grandma keeps asking us too. We like to take her out to breakfast every couple of months and this last time she picked the place and we're eating and she just comes out and asks if we're expecting. I guess this was the restaurant where DH's sister told her she was pregnant but we were like Grammy you chose the place we just wanted to eat breakfast with you! 

tigerlily6

There have been several times over the past years my mother has gotten concerned that I'm pregnant. Queasy stomach, the smell of certain greasy foods sends me running to the bathroom, not wanting to drink anything . . . what else could it be? A hangover, Mom. 

SP29

kimmiinthemitten said:

SP29 said:

DH and I were also together a long time before getting engaged (started dating in highscool)- so we also got the "when are you getting married?".

But just you wait. Once you get married then its, "When are you having kids?" And that one time you say no to a drink, "OMG- Are you pregnant???". UGH.

That's why you don't turn down drinks.

I know!!!

I get motion sick really easy, and that day we were headed to DH's brother and SIL's house, but picking up DH's sister first. We had never been to her new place before, I was reading out the directions from googlemaps on my phone while DH was driving and that made me sick. Thus- turned down the drinks.

Any time we have gone to BIL's house since, I make sure to drink my ample share

kvruns

SP29 said:

kimmiinthemitten said:

 

I know!!!

I get motion sick really easy, and that day we were headed to DH's brother and SIL's house, but picking up DH's sister first. We had never been to her new place before, I was reading out the directions from googlemaps on my phone while DH was driving and that made me sick. Thus- turned down the drinks.

Any time we have gone to BIL's house since, I make sure to drink my ample share

I'm having something similar. I get headaches pretty easily and drinking seems to be a constant trigger so I've pretty much stopped drinking, it just isn't worth the potential headache. My work has a lot of happy hours and I feel like between that and the weight I've put on I'm sure there is speculation. Nope sorry, just got fat and don't want a headache.

hashtag43016

I'm marrying my high school sweetheart, and when this girl at work overheard me telling someone else that we were engaged the FIRST words out of her mouth were, "i was engaged to someone I dated in high school and the wedding did NOT end up happening." ummm okay, but that's you. 

[Deleted User]

1) when I called my mother to tell her I was getting married, she said "to who?" ...my partner? The person I've been living with for 9 months and have been dating for a year and a half? She also RSVPed "tentatively coming"...ill post about that nonsense on another thread.

2) a coworker--a very awkward man with little to no social skills but I've worked with him for years and felt obligated to invite him--said "I think I'll bring Anna rose as my plus one, since this is my first gay wedding, who better to attend with me than a gay coworker?" I had to tell him it's not a gay wedding. It's just a wedding. I don't drink gay coffee or drive a gay car. It's really just the same as all other weddings---music, vows, nice clothes, cake and food. And lots of booze.