Who Comes Dress Shopping

Knottie1441510093

Hey Ladies!
I am trying to schedule my dress appointment, and hitting some bumps along the way. I am trying to see if having my grandmother (who is paying for the dress), my mother, future MIL, and three bridesmaid is too many people to bring. The problem is one bridesmaid is my sister, one my future SIL, and one my best friend. I feel like 6 people is a lot to bring but do not know how to cut people out, or is this a normal number?

VanessaCharlotte

I'm not sure what a good number would be, but I've heard that it's a good idea to not bring too many people as you don't want tooooo many conflicting opinions confusing you when you try to decide on your dress.

Best of luck! That's so exciting you're gonna have your dress appointment soon  

downtondiva

You can bring as many people as you want (unless the bridal shop you're going to has a limit), but keep in mind that more people means more opinions being expressed. If you think that will overwhelm you, don't bring everyone along. Remember, your opinion on the dress is ultimately most important, and that shouldn't get lost in what everyone else has to say about it. 

I went with just my mom when I went dress shopping. It was a nice mother/daughter thing, and I was able to get someone else's thoughts on the dresses I tried on without feeling confused or overwhelmed. 

MobKaz

Knottie1441510093 said:

Hey Ladies!
I am trying to schedule my dress appointment, and hitting some bumps along the way. I am trying to see if having my grandmother (who is paying for the dress), my mother, future MIL, and three bridesmaid is too many people to bring. The problem is one bridesmaid is my sister, one my future SIL, and one my best friend. I feel like 6 people is a lot to bring but do not know how to cut people out, or is this a normal number?

I think it has to do more with personalities than numbers.  My daughter brought 4 of her bridesmaids along, as well as myself.  My daughter asked each of the BM's to pick a dress they liked for her to try on.  None of her friends were the type to say anything negative or discouraging.

If you are worried that 6 people is too many, you can always "invite in circles" as is suggested for wedding invitations.  It makes sense for you, your mom, your sister, and grandmother to attend as you are all immediate family.  If you wanted to add to that list, then it makes sense to include your nearest and dearest friend.

If you have not already extended an invitation, I think you could easily cut out your FMIL and SIL.  It is not as common to include in laws to this event.  I would think they would understand, too.  What you could do, if you wanted, would be to invite them when you pick up the dress you eventually choose.  You would need to try it on again at that time to determine alterations.

AddieCake

You can bring anyone you like, but no way in hell would I bring 6 people.

CassieBeth926

I don't think there are rules about how many people to have with you. However I only had my mom and my sister and even getting the two of them to like the same dress was daunting. I agree that the more people you have, the more annoyed you will become with their opinions. 

charlotte989875

Agreed, there are no "rules" except those set by the bridal shop so check with them when you schedule you're appointment (I did have strongly suggest no more than 2 guests). Dress shopping can be stressful/emotional at times and the more people you bring, oftentimes that more differing opinions you're going to get. I went with my Mom to 3 of 4 shops and my MOH came to one with us. I wouldn't have wanted more than that. 

So, depending on you're relationships with the people you are asking to come (and their relationships with one another) it may not be too many, but it also might be too many opinions. Good luck! 

Knottie1441510093

I would prefer to just have my family and my MOH, but at the same time my future MIL and future SIL are extremely sensitive and I would hate for them to think I am intentionally leaving them out. Especially since my future SIL would be the only bridesmaid NOT attending. Also we are working on a limited time frame and the dress shop is only open certain times, so I know I will not be able to work around everyone's schedule, most likely my future MIL and future SIL

glasgowtolondon

I went with my mum to all my dress appts and each of my bridesmaids came to one each. I found dress shopping quite stressful so I don't think I could have dealt with more than 1 or 2 ppl seeing me at my worst!

ILoveBeachMusic

The first place where my daughter tried dresses she included me, FMIL and a bridesmaid. The rest of the places it was just me. She wanted to include FMIL because her now husband is an only child so FMIL wouldn't ever have the experience with a daughter. I echo, PP check with the shop(s) to make sure they don't have a limit on number.

Wanderlust543

Knottie1441510093 said:

I would prefer to just have my family and my MOH, but at the same time my future MIL and future SIL are extremely sensitive and I would hate for them to think I am intentionally leaving them out. Especially since my future SIL would be the only bridesmaid NOT attending. Also we are working on a limited time frame and the dress shop is only open certain times, so I know I will not be able to work around everyone's schedule, most likely my future MIL and future SIL

I had a similar situation with FMIL and FSIL, they were so excited and wanted to go dress shopping so I brought them to one appointment, along with my mom and one MOH. FMIL and FSIL had fun and wouldn't listen to me when I said what I preferred, but it did help me confirm what I definitely did not like! 

My only caution is to be open to trying different things, but don't be afraid to put your foot down if it's truly not something you want or are comfortable in; it's a lot of opinions to deal with!

SP29

If you don't want FMIL and FSIL there I wouldn't invite them.

Sure, you may likely tell them when you've found your dress. But do they need to know/ are you planning on telling them every time you're going to an appointment? Likewise do they need to know who is attending with you?

I feel like those things are no one's business but your own.

I suppose if FMIL doesn't have any daughters (yours does), then I can see her being excited to go dress shopping (I love wedding dresses!). But other than that, and maybe I'm just not close enough to my FMIL/FSIL, I can't imagine telling so many details to another person (your dress is personal- FMIL and FSIL have no stake in it), or someone else being so invested in a shopping trip.

ernursej

The first time I went dress shopping, I took my Mom, my sister and FMIL. While everyone was respectful and encouraging, I hated the experience. Too many opinions and I felt like I was a Barbie doll trying on things that I knew wouldn't look good on me but doing it to please the crowd. I went a second time with just my Mom and bought the second gown I tried on. I've been invited to many dress shopping experiences and to be honest, would have rather been doing something else. It is fun for a few minutes and then it gets down to business. I would suggest just including 1-2 people max unless you are the type that likes a lot of opinions and suggestions. 

ThxSugar

I took my mom, my sister, FMIL, FSIL, and FMIL's BFF shopping the first time I went. But I told them I had no idea what I wanted and it was a "just for fun" shopping trip. We went to 2 places and lunch. I eventually bought my dress during a solo shopping trip. It was fun to have them there for the first time, but shopping by myself was almost peaceful and it was easier to zero in on exactly what I wanted.

tigerlily6

It's whatever you're comfortable with, but I agree that having too many people may be more stressful. 

I went dress shopping by myself and while it felt weird at first, I ended up loving it. It was actually kind of nice to go solely off my own gut reaction to dresses. And ultimately, you're buying a piece of clothing. A think a lot of brides except it t some orgasmic experience finding THE DRESS . . . and then get disappointed when it doesn't happen. It might, but it might not, too. And that's fine. 

[Deleted User]

Bring people that will stand up to the pushy salespeople. I insisted on only seeing dresses in a price range--my FI's sister and my MOH didn't really help by pulling things off the rack that were 4-5x my budget. I also needed someone to help me get the right shape/design.

Not white.
Not mermaid/trumpet/ball gown 
not strapless
not hot. Seriously I was sweating in everything. Do they keep the thermostat in the 80s?
no gross crinkly fabric. 


Yeah it's a lot of demands but if ya know what you want, don't let people jerk you around and waste your time. Take gals that can help with that!

Knottie1441510093

UPDATE : Dress shopping was a success, everyone ended up coming and I left with the exact dress I wanted