Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid gifts

So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in.  I was going to get them embroidered.  I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever.  Thoughts?

Re: Bridesmaid gifts

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in.  I was going to get them embroidered.  I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever.  Thoughts?
    What do you envision they will need the day of your wedding that they would not normally carry in their own personal purse?

    As the MOB, I brought a bag of emergency things just in case my daughter or one of her BM's required a last minute "something".  None of them required their own personal "stash" of these emergency items, however.  How large or expensive are these totes?  Depending on the answer to that question, you could still fulfill your concept but individualize it to each friend.  You could get a messenger bag for your friend that might be a student or commuter.  You could get a saddlebag purse for the friend who just can't have enough purses. 

    If your initial reaction to that idea is, "Ew, that won't look good", then you are making purchases for your day versus for your friends.  I can guarantee that of all the pictures NOT important or never seen, one is of the wedding party carrying their matching, embroidered totes.
    [Deleted User]Blue_Bird
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited February 2016
    So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in.  I was going to get them embroidered.  I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever.  Thoughts?

    Even if you are not requiring your bridesmaids to use their totes on the wedding day, I would get them gifts that are aligned with their individual tastes and interests.  If you think that the totes are so aligned and that your bridesmaids would appreciate them, then you can certainly get them.  If you do, I would skip the embroidery, but if you do it, don't put "bridesmaid" on the totes.  It doesn't feel "individualized" - more like too "cutesy."
  • I would say no to the embroidery at all, just get them simple ones if you want to do it. I got mine the ones in the link below just so I had something to put all of the stuff I gave them in and they all travel a lot and I have the same one that I use as a carry on. They all loved them and could actually use them because they are always traveling, so it's a know your crowd thing as well.

    http://www.amazon.com/Mosey-Baggallini-Weekender-Travel-Raven/dp/B00QNAI8O6/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1456268344&sr=8-7&keywords=travel+tote+bag&refinements=p_89:Baggallini


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I second the one initial if you are going to embroider. I have more than 3 initials and I have so many bags I will never use because the brides have decided which combination she likes best.
    Speaking with others this isn't as rare as I thought it was- including a friend with no middle name but 2 first names.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Embroider initials only and only if they all like monogrammed stuff. But yeah, why exactly do they need a tote? Where and what will they be toting around? Do they not already own totes or cases of some kind for makeup and stuff? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2016
    Fwiw, I gave my bridesmaids totes from 31 as gifts. (http://www.thirtyonegifts.com/catalog/product/320/catid/22/swid/319a/zip-top-organizing-utility-tote-in-ribbon-stripe/)
     
    I knew my college roommate would be likely to use it for when she goes to dance class.   I knew my sister would use it as an overnight bag.  I knew my SIL would use it to hold stuff when taking the bus to work.   I just left a family gathering and and my sister was using that tote for her baby's toys. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't think there is anything wrong with totes as a gift. I just find it odd that OP specifically references some need for them day of. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    InLoveInQueens
  • Fwiw, I gave my bridesmaids totes from 31 as gifts. (http://www.thirtyonegifts.com/catalog/product/320/catid/22/swid/319a/zip-top-organizing-utility-tote-in-ribbon-stripe/)
     
    I knew my college roommate would be likely to use it for when she goes to dance class.   I knew my sister would use it as an overnight bag.  I knew my SIL would use it to hold stuff when taking the bus to work.   I just left a family gathering and and my sister was using that tote for her baby's toys. 
    I was going to suggest the same! They have so many options for totes and clutches that can be monogrammed
  • edited March 2016
    A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
  • A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
    Thank you JustcallmeA!  This was the thought process behind the totes for me.  Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial.  I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
    Thank you JustcallmeA!  This was the thought process behind the totes for me.  Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial.  I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc. 
    One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding.  It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
    Thank you JustcallmeA!  This was the thought process behind the totes for me.  Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial.  I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc. 
    One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding.  It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.
    I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you."  Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO. 
    image
    JediElizabeth
  • Jen4948 said:
    A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
    Thank you JustcallmeA!  This was the thought process behind the totes for me.  Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial.  I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc. 
    One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding.  It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.
    I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you."  Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO. 
    I have a million totes, and wouldn't necessarily remember to bring one to a wedding, especially if I were in a hotel and had to pack a suitcase. A cute tote that reminds her of me to carry stuff for the day sounds nice, even though I have others.


    OurWildKingdomILoveBeachMusickimmiinthemitten
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial.  I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out.  I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway.  First initial.  A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

    The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day.  Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case. 
    Thank you JustcallmeA!  This was the thought process behind the totes for me.  Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial.  I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc. 
    One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding.  It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.
    I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you."  Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO. 
    Yes and no.  I do think that she was projecting her assumption that they would appreciate getting an embroidered tote to carry their things in on her wedding day onto them, but not because her bridesmaids aren't capable of getting totes themselves - rather because, like you say, everyone has a few. They're so easy to acquire just about everywhere you go.

    I think gifts tailored to their individual interests, that are not in any way connected to the wedding, say more of a "I really appreciate you and care about you" message than giving everyone embroidered totes.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    OP is getting individual, personal gifts for the bridesmaids. These totes are just an extra she's doing. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    kimmiinthemittenOurWildKingdom
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Thanks for clarifying. 
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