Bridesmaid gifts

alissakay7 · February 2016

So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in. I was going to get them embroidered. I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever. Thoughts?

floridabride44 · February 2016

Definitely don't do "Bridesmaid". Most people would never ever carry around a tote that said bridesmaid in their day-to-day life. Would you? That's a one-time use thing and I guarantee you each of your bridesmaids would be tossing in the "donate" pile as soon as your wedding day was over.

I went to a bach. party where the MOH gave everyone customized totes that had the brides' name, the hashtag for the bach party, and the date. I've never used it again, and never will. "Cute" idea in theory, but total waste of money in reality.

I wouldn't even necessarily do initials or names, either, unless your bridesmaids all happen to be huge fans of monogrammed items. Keep things generic so they can be used in "real life" and not just on your wedding.

MobKaz · February 2016

alissakay7 said:

So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in. I was going to get them embroidered. I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever. Thoughts?

What do you envision they will need the day of your wedding that they would not normally carry in their own personal purse?

As the MOB, I brought a bag of emergency things just in case my daughter or one of her BM's required a last minute "something". None of them required their own personal "stash" of these emergency items, however. How large or expensive are these totes? Depending on the answer to that question, you could still fulfill your concept but individualize it to each friend. You could get a messenger bag for your friend that might be a student or commuter. You could get a saddlebag purse for the friend who just can't have enough purses.

If your initial reaction to that idea is, "Ew, that won't look good", then you are making purchases for your day versus for your friends. I can guarantee that of all the pictures NOT important or never seen, one is of the wedding party carrying their matching, embroidered totes.

SP29 · February 2016

I am not against the idea of a tote, if that's something you'd really like to give your friends as a gift, but I agree that I am not sure what kind of stuff they need to carry around with them?? Anything to do with getting ready (like going out to the salon) they will have their personal purse for. I can't see them bringing the tote to the wedding, unless they are bringing an extra pair of shoes to change into later.

If you do get this- no to "bridesmaid" embroidered on it- it should be a gift they will want to use again. If you want to go with monogramming, I'd go single initial. I wouldn't want my name plastered on something for random strangers to see as I'm walking around the city.

Jen4948 · February 2016

alissakay7 said:

So I'm shopping individually for each of my bridesmaids but I wanted to get them each a tote for the day of that they can keep everything in. I was going to get them embroidered. I've had some people say do just their names or initials and other say do their title of bridesmaid or whatever. Thoughts?

Even if you are not requiring your bridesmaids to use their totes on the wedding day, I would get them gifts that are aligned with their individual tastes and interests. If you think that the totes are so aligned and that your bridesmaids would appreciate them, then you can certainly get them. If you do, I would skip the embroidery, but if you do it, don't put "bridesmaid" on the totes. It doesn't feel "individualized" - more like too "cutesy."

lovemesomemonster · February 2016

I would say no to the embroidery at all, just get them simple ones if you want to do it. I got mine the ones in the link below just so I had something to put all of the stuff I gave them in and they all travel a lot and I have the same one that I use as a carry on. They all loved them and could actually use them because they are always traveling, so it's a know your crowd thing as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Mosey-Baggallini-Weekender-Travel-Raven/dp/B00QNAI8O6/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1456268344&sr=8-7&keywords=travel+tote+bag&refinements=p_89:Baggallini

MissMidtown · February 2016

I second the one initial if you are going to embroider. I have more than 3 initials and I have so many bags I will never use because the brides have decided which combination she likes best.
Speaking with others this isn't as rare as I thought it was- including a friend with no middle name but 2 first names.

AddieCake · February 2016

Embroider initials only and only if they all like monogrammed stuff. But yeah, why exactly do they need a tote? Where and what will they be toting around? Do they not already own totes or cases of some kind for makeup and stuff?

holyguacamole79 · February 2016

Fwiw, I gave my bridesmaids totes from 31 as gifts. (http://www.thirtyonegifts.com/catalog/product/320/catid/22/swid/319a/zip-top-organizing-utility-tote-in-ribbon-stripe/)

I knew my college roommate would be likely to use it for when she goes to dance class. I knew my sister would use it as an overnight bag. I knew my SIL would use it to hold stuff when taking the bus to work. I just left a family gathering and and my sister was using that tote for her baby's toys.

AddieCake · February 2016

I don't think there is anything wrong with totes as a gift. I just find it odd that OP specifically references some need for them day of.

kayteekay85 · February 2016

holyguacamole79 said:

Fwiw, I gave my bridesmaids totes from 31 as gifts. (http://www.thirtyonegifts.com/catalog/product/320/catid/22/swid/319a/zip-top-organizing-utility-tote-in-ribbon-stripe/)

I knew my college roommate would be likely to use it for when she goes to dance class. I knew my sister would use it as an overnight bag. I knew my SIL would use it to hold stuff when taking the bus to work. I just left a family gathering and and my sister was using that tote for her baby's toys.

I was going to suggest the same! They have so many options for totes and clutches that can be monogrammed

[Deleted User] · March 2016

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

alissakay7 · March 2016

JustcallmeA said:

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

Thank you JustcallmeA! This was the thought process behind the totes for me. Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial. I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc.

Jen4948 · March 2016

alissakay7 said:

JustcallmeA said:

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

Thank you JustcallmeA! This was the thought process behind the totes for me. Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial. I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc.

One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding. It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.

kimmiinthemitten · March 2016

Jen4948 said:

alissakay7 said:

JustcallmeA said:

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

Thank you JustcallmeA! This was the thought process behind the totes for me. Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial. I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc.

One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding. It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.

I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you." Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO.

crowsgirl15 · March 2016

kimmiinthemitten said:

Jen4948 said:

alissakay7 said:

JustcallmeA said:

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

Thank you JustcallmeA! This was the thought process behind the totes for me. Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial. I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc.

One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding. It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.

I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you." Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO.

I have a million totes, and wouldn't necessarily remember to bring one to a wedding, especially if I were in a hotel and had to pack a suitcase. A cute tote that reminds her of me to carry stuff for the day sounds nice, even though I have others.

Jen4948 · March 2016

kimmiinthemitten said:

Jen4948 said:

alissakay7 said:

JustcallmeA said:

A few days late, but to weigh in, I would personally prefer one initial. I do have one tote, given as a gift, with my first name written out. I don't tend to carry it in public because I'm one of those people who have strangers approach all the time in uncomfortable ways...anyway. First initial. A friend placed bridesmaid gifts in a cute reusable bag, one that you use at the grocery store or farmers market, which I love and use all the time.

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I did tend to carry a tote around for the day. Typically we don't return to the place we are getting ready, so my bag is where I threw my clothes once I changed, flats to wear during the reception, makeup, and water bottle and snickers bar - just in case.

Thank you JustcallmeA! This was the thought process behind the totes for me. Something they can just throw everything in (shoes, makeup, water bottle, ect.) I think if I get the bags embroidered at all it would be with just an initial. I want something that they can reuse whether it be for a day at the beach or for groceries, etc.

One thing to bear in mind though: Totes are soooooooooooooo available and reusable that many bridesmaids probably already have them from other sources that they reuse all the time and may be planning to bring with them to the wedding. It just doesn't come across as "tailored to their interests" but trying to project what one may think are their needs onto them.

I'm guessing they probably have a few that they reuse, which is fine, most people have a few. Gifting a tote bag says "here's a cute bag I think you'd like" not "I'm assuming you're incapable of owning anything to carry your possessions in so let me fix that problem for you." Projection is a bit extreme here, IMO.

Yes and no. I do think that she was projecting her assumption that they would appreciate getting an embroidered tote to carry their things in on her wedding day onto them, but not because her bridesmaids aren't capable of getting totes themselves - rather because, like you say, everyone has a few. They're so easy to acquire just about everywhere you go.

I think gifts tailored to their individual interests, that are not in any way connected to the wedding, say more of a "I really appreciate you and care about you" message than giving everyone embroidered totes.

AddieCake · March 2016

OP is getting individual, personal gifts for the bridesmaids. These totes are just an extra she's doing.

Jen4948 · March 2016

Thanks for clarifying.

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