Ring Bearers

avpenguinrn

We are having 2 ring bearers and 2 flower girls. The flower girls will be carrying pomander balls but what do we have the ring bearers carry? My FH is all about the traditional pillow which is fine (I'd prefer something that we can use later like a box of some sort but it doesn't really matter to me) but do we have both boys carry one? I don't like the signs with the cute sayings so that's not an option. Is it weird to only have one boy carrying something and the other not or should we go either both carry something or neither carry something?

I fully realize I am completely overthinking things and it doesn't really matter that much. It's just become one of the little details that is stuck in my head right now and has started bothering me. We're getting closer (58 days!) and it's getting to details time so I'm sure I'll start to overthink things more and more as the days go on...

[Deleted User]

avpenguinrn said:

We are having 2 ring bearers and 2 flower girls. The flower girls will be carrying pomander balls but what do we have the ring bearers carry? My FH is all about the traditional pillow which is fine (I'd prefer something that we can use later like a box of some sort but it doesn't really matter to me) but do we have both boys carry one? I don't like the signs with the cute sayings so that's not an option. Is it weird to only have one boy carrying something and the other not or should we go either both carry something or neither carry something?

I fully realize I am completely overthinking things and it doesn't really matter that much. It's just become one of the little details that is stuck in my head right now and has started bothering me. We're getting closer (58 days!) and it's getting to details time so I'm sure I'll start to overthink things more and more as the days go on...

Pillows are fine.  Or nothing.  Unless the kid is 8 or 9 years old or older, I wouldn't let him hold the rings.  I'd have the Best Man or the Groom or the officiant or someone else hold the actual rings.  You can have fake rings tied to the pillow.  I'm glad you don't like the idea of those silly signs though.  That makes me happy.

Jen4948

adk19 said:

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avpenguinrn said:

We are having 2 ring bearers and 2 flower girls. The flower girls will be carrying pomander balls but what do we have the ring bearers carry? My FH is all about the traditional pillow which is fine (I'd prefer something that we can use later like a box of some sort but it doesn't really matter to me) but do we have both boys carry one? I don't like the signs with the cute sayings so that's not an option. Is it weird to only have one boy carrying something and the other not or should we go either both carry something or neither carry something?

I fully realize I am completely overthinking things and it doesn't really matter that much. It's just become one of the little details that is stuck in my head right now and has started bothering me. We're getting closer (58 days!) and it's getting to details time so I'm sure I'll start to overthink things more and more as the days go on...

Pillows are fine.  Or nothing.  Unless the kid is 8 or 9 years old or older, I wouldn't let him hold the rings.  I'd have the Best Man or the Groom or the officiant or someone else hold the actual rings.  You can have fake rings tied to the pillow.  I'm glad you don't like the idea of those silly signs though.  That makes me happy.

I agree.  Neither boy has to actually carry anything - certainly not the actual rings.

I'm really glad to hear that you're not going to have them carry those signs.  I don't find them "cute" and lots of kids don't like carrying them either. When I've seen photos of them, the kids are almost always scowling. 

avpenguinrn

Thank you for your answers. We'll just play it by ear- if we find something we like we can get it, if  we don't they'll just walk without carrying anything.

ernursej

If you really wanted them to both carry something, you could have two pillows with a ring on each. Agree with PP to consider not carrying anything or being careful with the decision to let the real rings go with the kiddos. 

avpenguinrn

Oh, believe me, if we do have them carry something it will in no way involve our actual rings. That's just asking for trouble!

ILoveBeachMusic

I would either have both boys carry a pillow or neither carry a pillow. I think it would look odd to have only one boy carrying something. Totally agree on the signs. I think they are silly.

SP29

I agree, give both of them a pillow, or neither. They don't need to carry anything.

Our nephew was our ring bearer. He carried an empty pillow! (Best Man held the rings). Looking back- why did I give him a random pillow? Seems silly now :P Traditional, seemed important at the time.

(Can I also say YAY to no signs? When I first saw them pop up on Pinterest I thought they were cute- probably more because the little kids holding them were cute, but now they seem so silly and make me want to gag. Yeah, we know the bride is coming, she's the one in white

pinupbride6189

avpenguinrn said:

We are having 2 ring bearers and 2 flower girls. The flower girls will be carrying pomander balls but what do we have the ring bearers carry? My FH is all about the traditional pillow which is fine (I'd prefer something that we can use later like a box of some sort but it doesn't really matter to me) but do we have both boys carry one? I don't like the signs with the cute sayings so that's not an option. Is it weird to only have one boy carrying something and the other not or should we go either both carry something or neither carry something?

I fully realize I am completely overthinking things and it doesn't really matter that much. It's just become one of the little details that is stuck in my head right now and has started bothering me. We're getting closer (58 days!) and it's getting to details time so I'm sure I'll start to overthink things more and more as the days go on...

Yay no signs! I am not a super fan of any of them, but the ones that say, "Last chance to run!" make me borderline angry...

That being said Etsy ( I love etsy...) has lot of cute options for boxes if you aren't a huge fan of the pillows. A quick search turned these up.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/158856922/on-sale-ring-bearer-box-ring-pillow?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ring bearer box&ref=sr_gallery_14

https://www.etsy.com/listing/261149432/personalized-buck-doe-deer-antler-his?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ring bearer box&ref=sr_gallery_18

https://www.etsy.com/listing/267557593/set-of-two-extra-small-personalized?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ring bearer box&ref=sr_gallery_22

https://www.etsy.com/listing/186781079/mini-wedding-ring-box-valentines?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=ring bearer box&ref=sr_gallery_40

Also, and completely unrelated, I think we're wedding date twins!  

avpenguinrn

pinupbride6189 said:

Also, and completely unrelated, I think we're wedding date twins!  

Yay for wedding date twins! It's coming up so fast!

I'll have to look more into boxes... Although I think we may end up not doing anything. That idea is getting more and more attractive to me.

AddieCake

We initially were going to have our ring bearer carry a toy of his choosing, which would be his gift. At rehearsal, he freaked out and would only calm down at the prospect of carrying his mom's phone and taking video as he walked. Fine. Day of, he wanted to walk with just nothing, so that's what he did.

Jen4948

It's probably safest not to assume before the wedding day that ring bearers or flower girls will want to carry anything down the aisle, and prepare for that accordingly.  Or as @AddieCake suggests, waiting to see if they want to carry a specific item (and only that item) down the aisle on the day.

avpenguinrn

I have no expectations about any of them- if they want to walk/carry/whatever, great, if they don't, also great. Three of the kids are siblings so I think they'll feel more comfortable since they will have each other, the other kid doesn't know the first three so I don't know how he'll react (plus he's the youngest as well- will be a week or 2 shy of his 4th birthday)- but if any of them don't want to be involved on the wedding day we will completely understand. I have a very "we'll play it by ear on the day" attitude regarding all 4 of them. Honestly, I just want to do what's best for them- they're important people in our lives (my nieces and nephew, FH's godson), not cute little props, and we want to honor that.