What hand should I wear my ring on?

spockforprez

FH and I are probably getting Hospital Hitched in the next 14-21 days. His left arm is out of commission and may be permanently, so we're thinking he'll wear his ring on his right hand. If you were me, would you wear your ring on your right hand out of emotional and physical solidarity/symbolism, or on your left hand because yours is still functioning, and that's the "married" hand in the US, so why not?

glasgowtolondon

I think I'd do the right hand for the ceremony / day out of solidarity, but irl I'd probably stick to left as a visible sign that I'm married. However if you and your fi feel that you want to wear on your right hand then I wouldn't let anyone tell you differently, it's no one elses hand.

spockforprez

glasgowtolondon said:

I think I'd do the right hand for the ceremony / day out of solidarity, but irl I'd probably stick to left as a visible sign that I'm married. However if you and your fi feel that you want to wear on your right hand then I wouldn't let anyone tell you differently, it's no one elses hand.

Yeah, I feel the same way, I think. (About wearing it on the left.) I keep thinking that maybe he'll feel bad that he has to wear it on his right hand, but I haven't asked him yet. I'll ask him today.  

labro

I would probably stick with left tbh but I'm not in your shoes here. I think you and your FI should just talk about it together and see how he feels. It seems like such a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things but knowing your situation, I'd go with whatever seems important to him.

kvruns

I vote for left, because it is the symbol we are accustomed to if you want to visibly show people you are married. but I see nothing wrong with right hand for solidarity. Whichever feels best for you guys

I do have a question, and hope it doesn't come across as insensitive. If he is keeping his left arm but it won't be functional, won't it actually be better to have the ring on that hand so he can use his right hand to take it on and off? If it was on the right hand would he need help taking it off/on?

MandTFebruary62011

glasgowtolondon said:

I think I'd do the right hand for the ceremony / day out of solidarity, but irl I'd probably stick to left as a visible sign that I'm married. However if you and your fi feel that you want to wear on your right hand then I wouldn't let anyone tell you differently, it's no one elses hand.

I like this.  

Hope you're holding up ok.  Sending you lots of good vibes.

kimmiinthemitten

I'd ask him if he has a preference.  I have a friend who didn't really have fingers on her left hand so she wears her ring on her right, and he on his left.  However, if FI is or may become sensitive to it, I'd follow his lead.

PS - Yay for being Mrs. SpockForPrez soon!!

sparklepants41

Agree with PPs about asking him if he has a preference. If he doesn't, could you wear your e-ring on one hand and your wedding ring on the other? If you have an e-ring, that is?

spockforprez

kvruns said:

I vote for left, because it is the symbol we are accustomed to if you want to visibly show people you are married. but I see nothing wrong with right hand for solidarity. Whichever feels best for you guys

I do have a question, and hope it doesn't come across as insensitive. If he is keeping his left arm but it won't be functional, won't it actually be better to have the ring on that hand so he can use his right hand to take it on and off? If it was on the right hand would he need help taking it off/on?

Hm, I didn't think about that! Good point. Maybe he can wear it on the left hand once he's more stable. He lost blood flow through one of his arteries during his arm surgery yesterday - they say you can be fine with just one, but there's still a concern about keeping up the blood flow to that arm. So definitely not wanting it there right now. Hell, he doesn't have to wear it at all right now, to be honest. I guess we'll see.

tigerlily6

Do what feels best to you. If you like the tradition of wearing your finger on your left hand, then do that, but also, don't do it just because it is the most common tradition. In a number of Eastern European and South American countries, the right hand is the one you wear your wedding ring on (my Polish grandparents did this). Different cultures, different takes on the tradition. You and your FH (btw, YAAAAAAY and early congrats!) can have a cool spin on the tradition too, if you want. Nothing wrong with that. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree with PPs it is totally you and FH's call. I would personally wear it on my left hand because I am right handed and don't like rings on my right hand unless they are flat. My engagement ring would drive me nuts on my right hand. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!!!!! It sounds like FH is improving every day. He certainly has a great attitude, as do you.

SP29

I voted left, but I'd say up to you- or more specifically, see if FH has any thoughts.

I can't remember which culture this came from, and it might have been more of a time period thing. But anyway, a woman was given a ring, usually a plain band, as an engagement proposal, that she would wear on the right hand, and then once married, wore it on the left. I also believe that in eastern Europe, women wear the engagement ring on the right hand and then switch it over to the left with their wedding band when married (someone I used to know whose family is Dutch told me that, but could be wrong). In eastern Europe, men often wear their wedding band on the right hand. And in North America, if you have received a rock for an e-ring, it is often moved to the right hand after marriage while the band is worn on the left, purely because the e-ring is so big it doesn't fit beside the wedding band.

I wear my engagement and wedding rings on my left hand. DH wears his wedding band on his right hand. He is an engineer and left handed, so his iron ring in on his left pinky. He was worried that the steel ring would damage his gold band when they rub against each other. His dad is also eastern European, so the right hand tradition is common to him.

My high school music teacher wore/wears his wedding band on his right hand also, because on the left it interferes with playing his instrument.

Thus, I don't find it weird to see a ring on the right hand.

spockforprez

I used to be an Eastern Orthodox Christian so I'm accustomed to seeing the band on the right as well. I don't have an ering although I planned to pair my claddagh with my wedding band on the days I wear my jewelry. I voted left above, but I asked FH last night and he said "it would be cool" if I wore it on the same hand as him. So we'll start off with the right hand and then reevaluate depending on his left arm situation. Thanks everyone!

lyndausvi

My ering and wedding band do not match, nor do they sit well together.  I prefer my e-ring on my left hand, so I that is wear I keep it.  My wedding band is on my right hand.     NBD.

My father lost his index finger and the tip of 2 more on his left hand.   He never got a ring because he didn't want it to draw attention to his hand.   So I never grew up associating rings with a sign of  being married.  I mean, I knew most people do, but it wasn't something I gave much thought to.  Most sailors do not wear rings either because of safety reason.       

I guess my point it, whatever works for you.

MesmrEwe

He's still in the early stages of healing and it's impossible to know where he'll be at a year or three from now after he's been through all of the reconstruction and PT work...  I've known a lot of guys come back from some pretty mangled injuries and others who've lost fingers.  It's impossible to know at this point.  I'd stick with your left hand because of tradition..

CMGragain

My radiation oncologist has only one hand.  She wears her rings on her right hand.  NBD.  It is completely up to you.

spockforprez

MesmrEwe said:

He's still in the early stages of healing and it's impossible to know where he'll be at a year or three from now after he's been through all of the reconstruction and PT work...  I've known a lot of guys come back from some pretty mangled injuries and others who've lost fingers.  It's impossible to know at this point.  I'd stick with your left hand because of tradition..

I'm going to stick with what my FH wants. As I said above, we may switch over to the left hand depending on how his healing progresses.