Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do I have to invite the kids?

I have a very small team at work (only 4 of us), and we're all close, so I'd like to invite my 3 coworkers and their significant others. Two of them have teenage children that I've never met. We are inviting children to our wedding, but all of the other children are young (under 4) or infants. The only other teenagers would be my cousins. Is it rude to not invite my coworkers' children?

I don't want to split up the families, just thinking that if I was a teenager I wouldn't have fun going to a wedding for someone I never met. Their children have stayed home alone previously, so they wouldn't have to hire a babysitter. I remember my parents going to coworkers' weddings that we weren't invited to, but never thought about if that was rude or not.

Re: Do I have to invite the kids?

  • It's fine not to invite the kids of your coworkers.  
  • It would not be rude at all to only invite your coworkers and their SOs.  Think of it as inviting in circles.  You are inviting your teenaged cousins, because they are your cousins.  That is a different "group" than your coworkers' teenage children.

    When you see the term on here "splitting up a family", that is referring to inviting some kids but not others of the SAME family.  For example, "I'm inviting my coworker's 4-year-old daughter, but not her 16-year-old son, because he can be at home by himself."  THAT example would be splitting up a family.  But it's fine to say I'm not inviting either of my coworker's children.

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    [Deleted User]ahoywedding
  • I don't think it's a problem to exclude your co-workers' kids from the guest list.

  • Kids are people too.  You can decide which kids you want to invite.  Invite the ones you know, like your cousins and your BFFs children.  Don't invite the ones you don't know or have only met once at Take Your Child To Work Day.  It doesn't matter how old they are.  You don't know them, you don't have to invite them.
    SP29ahoywedding[Deleted User]
  • Thanks for clearing that up @short+sassy ! The idea of inviting in circles makes sense, and I was totally mistaken about splitting up a family. 

    Thanks everyone for your advice!
  • I don't think you need to invite the children of your co-workers. 
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    As long as you are not splitting up a family, it is 100% OK to invite some children, but not others.

  • I will have a group of kids at my wedding, only because these families will have to travel a thousand miles for my wedding and wouldn't want to leave their kids home (I'm assuming). Now, I'm inviting my co-workers BUT not their kids. I don't know them and it's another mouth I have to feed, which $$$.
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