Weird question I know, and I know it will get a lot of back lash.
What had happened is: My husband is in the military, we had a small civil ceremony. We're having a VCR (vow renewal ceremony). Doing it up big, now with our friends and families before we go to our next duty station. We are NOT treating it like our civil ceremony didn't happen, it did, I have the pictures to prove it.
But we're mexicans, so a civil ceremony is basically blasphemy and didn't happen in the eyes of the family. So we'll redo it. Bam! Problem solved. But as I am doing my research there are all these etiquettes and I fear I am doing to jack them all up. Because this VRC is going to be a wedding. Dress, attendants, flowers, cake, a hall, the whole shebang.
here's the long winded question: is it John and Jane Doe invite you or can it be Jane and John Doe invite you? or does it depend on the sound of the wording, like of our names strung together?
I know I took his last name, but I'm older than my husband and my name is before his alphabetically.
Re: Vow Renewal Invitations.
Your plans are not appropriate for a vow renewal, or for a convalidation in the Catholic Church. Vow renewals are not second weddings. Here is an etiquette guide site that will explain. You can do what you wish, but be prepared for a lot of criticism. http://www.idotaketwo.com/blog/vow-renewal-etiquette-2/
This would be the wording for a vow renewal that is held in a church. If you are Catholic, these are not usually allowed. Convalidations are not big wedding celebrations, and your priest may not approve your plans, especially since you chose to be married in a non-church ceremony. Be sure and get you plans approved before doing any more planning.
If you insist on using your names instead of your titles, it would be this: Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe, on the same line of type.
Attendants don't make sense. What would you even call them? Wifesmaids? You aren't a bride. Nix the attendants. Although most people won't tell you, your friends are going to feel ridiculous to be asked.
PP has the correct language for the invitation, but I'm assuming that when you say you're Mexican you mean that you're an American of Mexican decent, and thus were civilly married in the US.
Otherwise, you're fine. There's no rule that you can't have flowers or cake or a giant party at a vow renewal. Just don't walk around pretending to be a bride on her wedding day, and you'll be fine.
Otherwise, I agree with PPs.