Who Pays Guests/Parents?

kkitkat79

I am curious, is it a "russian restaurant" type of place? Russian restaurants are very popular among immigrants from the the former soviet union. It is usually a fixed menu and guests pay for themselves.

glasgowtolondon

kkitkat79 said:

I am curious, is it a "russian restaurant" type of place? Russian restaurants are very popular among immigrants from the the former soviet union. It is usually a fixed menu and guests pay for themselves.

You might have to explain this further. In what world do 'guests' pay for themselves? What you are describing is a night out with friends where you all split the bill, not an engagement party.

kkitkat79

glasgowtolondon said:

kkitkat79 said:

I am curious, is it a "russian restaurant" type of place? Russian restaurants are very popular among immigrants from the the former soviet union. It is usually a fixed menu and guests pay for themselves.

You might have to explain this further. In what world do 'guests' pay for themselves? What you are describing is a night out with friends where you all split the bill, not an engagement party.

Like I said, celebrating all sorts of events at "russian restaurants" is very popular among immigrants from the former soviet union. So to answer your question "in what world" - in the world of immigrants from the former soviet union. You may not like or agree with it - I don't - but it is what a lot of Russian immigrants do. The price is usually fixed per person and people are expected to pay for themselves.

Jen4948

kkitkat79 said:

glasgowtolondon said:

kkitkat79 said:

I am curious, is it a "russian restaurant" type of place? Russian restaurants are very popular among immigrants from the the former soviet union. It is usually a fixed menu and guests pay for themselves.

You might have to explain this further. In what world do 'guests' pay for themselves? What you are describing is a night out with friends where you all split the bill, not an engagement party.

Like I said, celebrating all sorts of events at "russian restaurants" is very popular among immigrants from the former soviet union. So to answer your question "in what world" - in the world of immigrants from the former soviet union. You may not like or agree with it - I don't - but it is what a lot of Russian immigrants do. The price is usually fixed per person and people are expected to pay for themselves.

This would not be appropriate for an engagement party, wedding, or other event that doesn't involve people from that culture.

kkitkat79

Jen4948 said:

This would not be appropriate for an engagement party, wedding, or other event that doesn't involve people from that culture.

You mean if it involves people not from that culture? I agree, but if the groom is from that culture it might be tricky to explain why it is not appropriate.

For $134 I personally would not go, it's too expensive, but if we are talking about that kind of place it can be quite the cultural experience. I wish the OP would come back with more details. 

levioosa

kkitkat79 said:

Jen4948 said:

This would not be appropriate for an engagement party, wedding, or other event that doesn't involve people from that culture.

You mean if it involves people not from that culture? I agree, but if the groom is from that culture it might be tricky to explain why it is not appropriate.

For $134 I personally would not go, it's too expensive, but if we are talking about that kind of place it can be quite the cultural experience. I wish the OP would come back with more details. 

Except other posters have already made it clear that making your guests pay is NOT, in fact, a cultural consideration for either Russian, or Jewish cultures.  

kkitkat79

levioosa said:

kkitkat79 said:

Jen4948 said:

This would not be appropriate for an engagement party, wedding, or other event that doesn't involve people from that culture.

You mean if it involves people not from that culture? I agree, but if the groom is from that culture it might be tricky to explain why it is not appropriate.

For $134 I personally would not go, it's too expensive, but if we are talking about that kind of place it can be quite the cultural experience. I wish the OP would come back with more details. 

Except other posters have already made it clear that making your guests pay is NOT, in fact, a cultural consideration for either Russian, or Jewish cultures.  

I am not talking about Russian or Jewish cultures. I am talking about culture of immigrants from the former soviet union. Being Jewish or having Russian ancestry is not the same as being from the USSR. And I am not saying that it is something all soviet immigrants do, but it is very popular among a large number of them.

LD1970

Every Russian immigrant I know, immigrants from the former Soviet Union, as you say (primarily Jewish) knows how to host a hell of a party. And pay for it, without contribution from guests.  Every single one.  And I'm talking NY/NJ, so we've got a hell of a concentration here.

levioosa

kkitkat79 said:

levioosa said:

kkitkat79 said:

Jen4948 said:

This would not be appropriate for an engagement party, wedding, or other event that doesn't involve people from that culture.

You mean if it involves people not from that culture? I agree, but if the groom is from that culture it might be tricky to explain why it is not appropriate.

For $134 I personally would not go, it's too expensive, but if we are talking about that kind of place it can be quite the cultural experience. I wish the OP would come back with more details. 

Except other posters have already made it clear that making your guests pay is NOT, in fact, a cultural consideration for either Russian, or Jewish cultures.  

I am not talking about Russian or Jewish cultures. I am talking about culture of immigrants from the former soviet union. Being Jewish or having Russian ancestry is not the same as being from the USSR. And I am not saying that it is something all soviet immigrants do, but it is very popular among a large number of them.

My extremely proper, formerly Soviet Union teacher would have been appalled by this.  You always show up with the worst and patently untrue advice.  

kkitkat79

levioosa said:

My extremely proper, formerly Soviet Union teacher would have been appalled by this.  You always show up with the worst and patently untrue advice.  

For one, I gave no advice. I offered a perspective. If this engagement party venue is a "russian restaurant" type of place and the groom's background is what I think it is then it is not surprising to me that guests are expected to pay. I never said that it should be acceptable, only that it is how it is done in certain circles of soviet immigrants.

As for it being "patently untrue"... you do realize that soviet immigrants are a heterogeneous group, right? Just because you only encountered one type doesn't mean other types do not exist. 

JediElizabeth

kkitkat79 said:

levioosa said:

My extremely proper, formerly Soviet Union teacher would have been appalled by this.  You always show up with the worst and patently untrue advice.  

For one, I gave no advice. I offered a perspective. If this engagement party venue is a "russian restaurant" type of place and the groom's background is what I think it is then it is not surprising to me that guests are expected to pay. I never said that it should be acceptable, only that it is how it is done in certain circles of soviet immigrants.

As for it being "patently untrue"... you do realize that soviet immigrants are a heterogeneous group, right? Just because you only encountered one type doesn't mean other types do not exist. 

No culture has a monopoly on individual or circle-approved tackiness or rudeness. That doesn't make it part of the culture, just an issue of some of its people. 

I wouldn't be surprised if some Russian immigrants did this. It doesn't make it polite, and it doesn't mean it's part of the larger culture. 

scrunchythief

My grandmother is first generation Russian and Jewish, whose parents fled the USSR.  Never heard of this, and I'm pretty sure I'd get the guilt trip lecture of my life if I suggested this to her,

short+sassy

I'm still trying to figure out where buffet=$134/person.  Although I've never paid quite that much for a meal for two ($268), I have paid close to $200 a few times.  They were always 4-star restaurants with usually a "server team".  I definitely did not need to walk back and forth to get my courses.

LD1970

short+sassy said:

I'm still trying to figure out where buffet=$134/person.  Although I've never paid quite that much for a meal for two ($268), I have paid close to $200 a few times.  They were always 4-star restaurants with usually a "server team".  I definitely did not need to walk back and forth to get my courses.

Yeah, I told H about this and that it was a buffet, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head.  As he said, if I'm spending that kind of money on dinner, I'd better be having it at Per Se.

JeeGooDowster

I think at these kind of restaurants, the whole package comes with food, unlimited amounts of vodka and singing/dancing entertainment.  So I can see where the $134++/person comes from.

I don't however, see where guests would have to pay for themselves!

OwningAHome1981

I'm also a Russian Jew and this def is not a thing! Maybe in Russia, though I doubt it, but here... no