Ceremony and Vow Ideas

My vows - thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated

a nony mousea nony mouse
First Comment
member
edited April 2016 in Ceremony and Vow Ideas
Hi all,

I have been working on my vows for the last few months and I have finally got them in a place where I feel I can share them for thoughts and opinions. We are writing our vows seperately and although we have discussed a general length format etc we have not shared any specifics about the contents.

My vows have evolved massively since my first attempt and through coincidence more than trying they have turned into a poem that rhymes. I quite like that they are a poem but before I decide to keep it in this format I just want to know if they scream amateur or are worthy for the perfect bride.
 
Please be brutally honest, although I have put a lot of time and effort in to get them where they are and I have written them from scratch, I am not a creative writer!!! I will not take your comments personally nor will I be offended.  Here goes....

On this day, the day we choose to be husband and wife

I promise

To be your best friend, live life to the fullest and together brave the unknown,

for as long as I can take steps, you’ll never walk alone.

I promise

That I will make mistakes and won’t always get things right,

But when I do ill make amends with all of my might

I promise

To be your faithful husband, your guardian and your equal

For as long as long as I have fight, I’ll protect you from all evil

I promise

To travel the world with you like we have already planned,

As we venture forth I’ll always be there to hold your hand

I promise

To love, honour and respect you, no matter what you may choose to do

for as long as I still breathe, I’ll never give up on you.

On this day

I give you all that I am, all that I was and all that I shall become

Thanks all in advanced, just over a month before we make it official :)

OurWildKingdomSP29

Re: My vows - thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated

  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    Vows like this are very personal and should take whatever shape or form you think best expresses you as an individual.  I happen to like the sentiment behind the words very much.  It's very lovely and heartfelt.  But if it were me, I'd feel kind of silly reciting this during the ceremony.  But I'm not into poetry (and most poetry for me has that Emily Dickinson "Because I could not stop for death" tempo so I'd have a hard time NOT reading it aloud as a poem).  I'm also not you; this is just a thought.  If you're comfortable reading a poem, don't let ANYONE stop you.

    On the flip side, hearing a poem that my FH wrote on the day of our wedding would likely definitely bring tears to my eyes.

    That being said, you do you (and do it with pride!), and whatever you're comfortable with will be perfect to those who love you.  I love that you are putting so much thought and effort into this.  Go with your gut!

    Congratulations!


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    SoldiersMomgina32882adk19
  • First ever reply to my first ever forum discussion thanks atomicblonde... as for the embarrassment I have already thought about this... We are getting married abroad and only have a very small party of friends (and a few family members) so I am not concerned about this.

    I am going for a proper tear jerking moment and that goes for myself as well as my bride so your comment at the end is just what I wanted to hear. A number of times I have welled up whilst writing them, I can only imagine how I am going to hold out on the day!!!





    adk19
  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Don't try too hard for that teary-eyed moment.  You don't want the sentiment to sound contrived.  Just speak from your heart.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    SP29ernursej
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I like what you have here. They are promises that are personal but not too intimate or cutesy, and keeping them is feasible.
    adk19
  • I personally love them xxx
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
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    edited April 2016
    Dusty in here. *sniffle*

    Seriously, gorgeous, heartfelt, and real.
  • I think these are beautiful. I may be biased because H and I wrote ours in sonnet format (his rhymed!). I too like that they are actual promises and not just a mushy love letter (which is uncomfortable to listen to and I have heard passed off as 'vows' before).
    image
    OurWildKingdomadk19
  • SP29SP29
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    I like them as well.

    Often when people write their own vows they come out as too personal, cutesy, or a story when vows are meant to be promises you make. I like how you kept this focus.
    OurWildKingdomadk19
  • wow thanks everyone!! your words are kind and very reassuring :) 




  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
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    I think they feel heartfelt, honest and lovely!
    image
  • I love these vows! Very beautiful. 
  • These vows are absolutely beautiful! How long (altogether) did it take you to write these?
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Truthfully?  I wanted to hate them because I hate poetry.  I didn't hate them.  I actually kind of liked them.  Go with it.
    SP29charlotte989875a nony mouseHeffalump
  • Again thanks everyone!!

    I also am not a fan of poetry in fact i would say the same as you adk19 but they just happened to turn out that way.

    When i read them aloud i feel they flow nicely and that what has persuaded me to run with it. All of your commentys have also helped!

    how long they took is hard to say I have been working on them bit by bit for some time, probably 8-10 hours in total but the during that time they have completely changed. Alot of what I initiually wrote is now going in a love note on the day
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