My vows - thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated
I have been working on my vows for the last few months and I have finally got them in a place where I feel I can share them for thoughts and opinions. We are writing our vows seperately and although we have discussed a general length format etc we have not shared any specifics about the contents.
My vows have evolved massively since my first attempt and through coincidence more than trying they have turned into a poem that rhymes. I quite like that they are a poem but before I decide to keep it in this format I just want to know if they scream amateur or are worthy for the perfect bride.
Please be brutally honest, although I have put a lot of time and effort in to get them where they are and I have written them from scratch, I am not a creative writer!!! I will not take your comments personally nor will I be offended. Here goes....
On this day, the day we choose to be husband and wife
To be your best friend, live life to the fullest and together brave the unknown,
for as long as I can take steps, you’ll never walk alone.
That I will make mistakes and won’t always get things right,
But when I do ill make amends with all of my might
To be your faithful husband, your guardian and your equal
For as long as long as I have fight, I’ll protect you from all evil
To travel the world with you like we have already planned,
As we venture forth I’ll always be there to hold your hand
To love, honour and respect you, no matter what you may choose to do
for as long as I still breathe, I’ll never give up on you.
On this day
I give you all that I am, all that I was and all that I shall becomeThanks all in advanced, just over a month before we make it official