Dress Doubts

Pinksatin91016

Regarding the veil issue - I am skipping one too but just because I don't think it will go with my outfit. I want milkmaid braids (a wreath of braid wrapped around my head) and I just don't see how a veil will look cute with that. My hair is short (like chin length) so I'm definitely gonna need to practice braiding in clip-on extensions. Maybe next time someone asks, just say you don't think it goes with your outfit? 

I also think that if you feel in your deep gut feelings that that the first dress isn't the one you want to marry in, buy the second one. I bought my dress on eBay so you can just sell your first dress on eBay or somewhere else to another bride like me looking for someone's second hand dress as a bargain. I only say this because wedding dresses are a one time thing. No second chances. I was thinking of doing just a white "outfit" with no wedding dress to be laid back but both my mom and myself convinced me that I would regret not taking the one chance I have to wear a real wedding gown. You are only a bride once. (or at least that's how you should go into this thinking). Get the dress you actually want. But....think about it hard first if you actually don't like the first one, or you are just being insecure about your decision. Because you know if you are just doubting yourself, you can easily end up in the exact same situation with the second dress too! Whichever one it is, get the one you REALLY want.

ezizabef

Get the dress you've been looking at. It seems like there is a reason you've continued looking after you got the first one. You we're probably just really excited when you went dress shopping the first time and when everyone is together and saying how great it looks, it can be easy to confuse how you really feel with how you want to feel about it.

If after you get the other dress, you realize you prefer the original, then you can return the second dress. If you love the second dress, sell the original on ebay or something (unless you can return it) and you'll probably get some of your money back.

These are pictures and memories you'll have forever, so you need to be as happy and confident in your choice as you can be.

Btw, I'm not wearing a veil either. I find it's symbolism very out-dated and it makes the feminist in me cringe.  Although, I'm sure I'm doing other things in the wedding I'd find out-dated/cringeworthy, this one didn't make the list.

lnixon8

little late to the party but the DB dress is my dress! Obviously I'm one sided but I would add that a cathedral length veil can add elegance to this dress. For the bustle: no big deal just have two people come with you when they show you how to do it and have one of them take a video.

ETA: Are you wearing a full slip in the photo? That might make it look better (though not at all like the other dress youre considering) 

Tyvm

@Inixon8 It's a lovely dress, but talking about wearing a full slip and videoing someone working my bustle so they can remember how to do it sounds like a hassle for this lazy bride-to-be! 

"You we're probably just really excited when you went dress shopping the first time and when everyone is together and saying how great it looks, it can be easy to confuse how you really feel with how you want to feel about it...

...Btw, I'm not wearing a veil either. I find it's symbolism very out-dated and it makes the feminist in me cringe.  Although, I'm sure I'm doing other things in the wedding I'd find out-dated/cringeworthy, this one didn't make the list."

@ezizabef You're exactly right. As my sister said, "You didn't mentally prepare for the dress shopping." ahahahahhahahahaha. And I know there's other cringeworthy traditions lurking in my ceremony/reception, I'm just not sure how to find them all! Not doing a "giving away", no bouquet/garter toss, ...I'm betting that father/daughter dance is something but at least it's balanced out by the mother/son dance. Now, just to keep the DJ's announcements in check!!!

"Also, I love the last dress you just posted; is the only reason you're not wearing the backup is that you mom was pleased you bought a "real" wedding dress?"

@charlotte989875 I wouldn't mind wearing a more wedding-y dress as well, which I think was reflected (and possibly magnified) by the DB dress purchase. Some part of me wanted something a little more stereotypical, but I turned into a Yes Woman and went a bit overboard. FI was a little excited about me wearing a strapless gown, too, but he's not the one who has to go to the fittings and wear it for 8 hours!!

"But if you're afraid you're going to freeze with the wedding outside, what about your guests??? is there an indoor Plan B?"

@kvruns(and similarly, @MesmrEwe)Our venue is so good, we're starting with the outdoor option. If we tell them morning of, we can switch to the outdoor tent option (i.e., rain). And we can switch at almost anytime to the indoor amphitheater option! I don't imagine it'll be freezing, but I tend to be a bit sensitive to temperatures (colder than the average bear)

"Looking at that dress you purchased already as your "back up" the first thing I thought was "WOW!"...  You own that dress already - put it into service!  I'd rather see it at your wedding than for you to wear it to someone else's wedding you may or may not get the chance to wear it at. "

@MesmrEwe I usually think of switching from a ceremony dress to a reception dress as being a little tacky, but I think in this case it might not be so bad, and could save a pinch of money on alterations. That initial (BHLDN 'Ascott Dress') is loooooovely.

Everyone else, thank you so much for your input. I'm glad to see I'm not crazy either way! The BHLDN 'Gwyneth' dress went on sale for $350 and I bought it in two sizes. BHLDN has free returns (within 30 days) and if you call and order, the $15 gown shipping fee is waived. So, we'll see how this works out in the next couple weeks. If I don't like it, then maybe I'll stop looking at dresses and go with MesmrEwe's suggestion.

Tyvm

Welp. The dresses came in! It's more tan than I had imagined and just barely long enough. They both fit. The smaller size is having a bit of thread pull at the fabric right at the neckline forming tiny little holes where the thread pushes through. And the larger size would need the straps shortened, but is a little more forgiving in the waist area than the smaller one. 

I like the uniqueness of the dress. I like that it's comfortable (although still needs a strapless bra). I like that it's not too fussy, and the tiny train could probably just be swept up with a safety pin, or a little DIY bustle. I like that I could dye the dress and rewear for something else. It's elegant, yet still simple.

I'm not really sure silver goes with this dress, it's a bit more tan than I had anticipated...But then, I'm not sure how much I care about clashing. If silver clashes too much then I'd have to change whatever the bridesmaids were going to wear (not purchased yet, still ~4 months away).

This is the dress I would have bought had I not turned into a yes-woman at David's Bridal first.

ILoveBeachMusic

The second dress is lovely but I think the DB dress fits your figure better. They are definitely two different looks. You really can't go wrong with either.

CMGragain

Love the second one on you!  Va-va-voom!  (Cute cat, too!)  The lace one does nothing for your figure.

Tyvm

Well, I've decided to return both the BHLDN Gwyneth Gowns. Mostly because the larger size was blech and the smaller size fit me, but there were two slight holes forming along the neckline. 'Seemed like the fabric couldn't handle the weight of the dress/threads pulling downward on it. It made me a bit nervous about wearing it during the wedding. Plus, as stated in this thread, even the smaller size wasn't really emphasizing my best features (I've always looked best in dresses with defined waists).

So, back to the David's Bridal dress, I suppose, until I see a different beauty that grabs my attention. Of course, alterations on the DB dress will be near the end of June, so I suppose that's my deadline. 'Time to try and make it works as a woodlands-inspired organic + sparkly effect!

bohobrideCA

Tyvm said:

Well, I've decided to return both the BHLDN Gwyneth Gowns. Mostly because the larger size was blech and the smaller size fit me, but there were two slight holes forming along the neckline. 'Seemed like the fabric couldn't handle the weight of the dress/threads pulling downward on it. It made me a bit nervous about wearing it during the wedding. Plus, as stated in this thread, even the smaller size wasn't really emphasizing my best features (I've always looked best in dresses with defined waists).

So, back to the David's Bridal dress, I suppose, until I see a different beauty that grabs my attention. Of course, alterations on the DB dress will be near the end of June, so I suppose that's my deadline. 'Time to try and make it works as a woodlands-inspired organic + sparkly effect!

I think you can totally pull this look off with the original DB dress!