Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invites with two rsvp dates

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Re: Invites with two rsvp dates

  • Reading these posts I am starting to question something I did at my wedding. I was a BM in a close friends wedding that was 2 weeks before mine. In the month before her wedding I got close with her MOH. After my friends wedding I told MOH I know it is a little late but I would love to have her and her H join us for our wedding. We are still friends 15 years later. Was this a bad b list  thing?
  • debbeau said:
    Reading these posts I am starting to question something I did at my wedding. I was a BM in a close friends wedding that was 2 weeks before mine. In the month before her wedding I got close with her MOH. After my friends wedding I told MOH I know it is a little late but I would love to have her and her H join us for our wedding. We are still friends 15 years later. Was this a bad b list  thing?

    @debbeau, I think you are likely okay as it doesn't sound like you did what OP was proposing. True B-listing involves planning to invite more if your first invites decline.
  • If the "B listers" get the invitation 6 weeks before the wedding (which is a normal time to receive it anyway) how would they know they are B listers? I'm sending out the first batch of invitations early with an earlier RSVP date, to be able to send to B list 6 weeks out. There are about 6 family members that I've been told I HAVE to invite but will most likely not attend. I'm not going to run the risk of sending an extra 6 invites out, but if they do decline I'd like the opportunity to still invite others.
    Way late to this party but I love that this involves B listing 6 people.  Seriously OP, you can't find 6 alternates to remove from your list or a venue that can accommodate 6 additional people?

    Also, I'm opening betting that she hasn't included vendors in her capacity count and is already over venue capacity.  Bidding starts at 4 people over.
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  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    debbeau said:
    Reading these posts I am starting to question something I did at my wedding. I was a BM in a close friends wedding that was 2 weeks before mine. In the month before her wedding I got close with her MOH. After my friends wedding I told MOH I know it is a little late but I would love to have her and her H join us for our wedding. We are still friends 15 years later. Was this a bad b list  thing?
    Absolutely not Blisting. One of my dearest friends I met at a casual party a few weeks before her wedding.  We hit it off and she gave me a last minute invite (we are still close friends 9 years later). 

    Blisting is having two lists. Inviting someone you just met because you want them there is making friends.

  • I am so happy to read that I was not a B listing MOB at daughter's wedding!  We invited several guests at the last minute, but it was because they asked to come.  (I know!  That wasn't very polite of them, but we forgive them.)  Fortunately, there was lots of space in the venue daughter chose, and we were serving a buffet.
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  • I wish OP had actually posted her super special circumstance for doing this.  Not that it would have mattered, since I've never seen one that actually needed b-listing, but I always am curious as to the 'special circumstances'.  If it was so important to the background, why not post it in the first place??  
    I think she did. Someone told her she "had" to invite these family members and I think she's just another one for whom saying "No" (to mom, whoever) is too difficult. So complex.
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