(Discussion) Washing hands at someone's home

spockforprez

Just had a bizarre experience. We had a visitor, someone we don't know well, visit the house just now. After we finished up she used the restroom. She came out and said, "Are there any paper towels?" And I said "Sure, over here. Is everything okay?" thinking maybe she spilled something. She replied, "Oh yes, I just wanted to dry my hands. There was a towel but it...." and trailed off. After she used the towels she very gingerly placed the paper towel into the trash can, making (what I interpreted to be) a big show of trying not to touch the trash can. I was thinking, "WOW!" so I offered her hand sanitizer and she eagerly took me up on it. 

Y'all. I checked my bathroom after she left. There was a perfectly nice, dry hand towel hanging there. I put it out after I did the laundry Saturday. I sniffed it and it smelled fine. 

Clearly I am miffed at the implication that my hand towel wasn't acceptable, but honestly, if I were in this situation where I obviously have a germ phobia problem, I would either keep sanitizer in my bag to use discreetly after I left, or if I felt I definitely had to ask for paper towels, would take 100% of the blame and say, "I just have to dry my hands on paper towels. I know it's really weird, and it's not you at all! Just a quirk I have." Or something like that!

Am I being overly sensitive or do you think it's rude to make a point to refuse to use someone's hand towel? 

100yroldblinddog

I think you were dealing with a grade-A weirdo.

madamerwin

I think it's weird the way she made a show of not touching the trash can, and taking hand sanitizer after. Maybe she has a germ phobia? Even if that's the case, I agree that if it were me I would carry my own hand sanitizer, and then acknowledge I was weird about towels, or something. 

ShesSoCold

Yeah that's weird. I'd be miffed (good word!) too.

[Deleted User]

Sometimes at family events, we'll have 20 people using one small bathroom on the first floor of uncle's house.  The hand towel never gets dry with so many people using it.  It's gross, and sometimes I prefer to dry my hands on my pants rather than "dry" my hands on a moist towel.  But that's it.  If it's a clean/dry towel, I'll use it.  In fact, I hate when people have paper towels in their home bathrooms.  It makes me feel like I'm killing mother nature by using one and throwing it in the trash.  Half the time, in that situation, I'll again choose to dry my hands on my pants.  

When I'm having lots of people over (like the guys for a football game), I'll put out a second hand towel so everyone has an option for a clean/dry towel.  I'll throw both into the wash as soon as everyone is gone and put out another clean one for everyday use.  

I think your houseguest was weird.

LuckyStarandHoneyBunny

I have odd habits and can sometimes be a germaphobe--especially about using other people's pens, but I usually carry my own and don't make a big show of it. It just seems like your guest was being a weirdo.

Tyvm

Yeah, this just sounds like a germaphobe. Don't feel bad/mad, but maybe feel bad for her because that has gotta be a rough affliction for your guest?

OurWildKingdom

Is your guest immunocompromised? I know someone with a double lung transplant who is leery of hugging or shaking hands because even a common cold or allergy attack can lead to pneumonia. That's an extreme case, but a possibility nonetheless.

spockforprez

No, she was a professional, not a friend or anyone we were entertaining.

It struck me as super odd because she told us she has five cats and she loved our cats-- I find that germaphobes and cats usually don't mix so I wasn't expecting it. 

OurWildKingdom

If it was a home care professional, her employer may have told her that they have to use paper towels to maintain proper hygiene. I did home care for two years and was told to use paper towels or a separate towel from the client, to protect the client from whatever germs we might be carrying.

kimmiinthemitten

FI is a bit of a germaphobe and he's a crazy cat guy.  But I don't think he has a weird towel thing.

I won't use wet hand towels or bar soaps (just no).  I think you just had a wackadoodle at your home.  Hopefully she doesn't have to return.

spockforprez

OurWildKingdom said:

If it was a home care professional, her employer may have told her that they have to use paper towels to maintain proper hygiene. I did home care for two years and was told to use paper towels or a separate towel from the client, to protect the client from whatever germs we might be carrying.

No, not a medical professional. Even if she were, I would think she'd say something instead of acting like we live in a crack den! 

KatCtoKatA

Is the hand-towel fancy in some way?  Like, my mom likes to put out hand-towels that are covered in seasonally appropriate embroidered appliques, and look like they might be decorative, not for actual use.  I could see someone feeling uncomfortable about using something like that for actual hand drying.

MyNameIsNot

I've got to admit, I hate using towels at people's houses. I know it probably makes me a germophobe, but I don't care. Not everyone uses soap or washes correctly. Even if the towel is dry, it's not always clean. When I have guests, I always put out paper hand towels. 

Still, I think that was rude of her. She didn't have to use the towel, but she could have been nice about it. 

ernursej

I can see both sides. As long as the towel looks clean and is dry, I have no problem using it.

For my home, I have recently switched to a collection of small white linen hankie style towels for guests to use. I have about 30 that I put out with a wicker basket for them to be dropped into post use. It seems to bridge the gap with not wanting to waste paper and knowing what it is like to use a wet towel. I use no additional water washing as I throw them in with my regular white sheets which take the largest setting on my machine.

climbingsingle

Maybe your hand towel and/or bathroom looked dirty to her. If she was a germaphobe, she probably would have had her own towels/tissues/hand sanitizer in her bag. 
Was she rude to ask for a paper towel? I don't think so. 

spockforprez

Yeah I get that some people have issues with germs. Seems like if you are one of those people, you own your shit and make arrangements, knowing that you're not going to be able to use perfectly ordinary, clean hand towels. Making the big show of how grossed out she was is what offended me. If she'd discreetly used a sanitizer or even asked for the paper towels and said, "I know! I'm such a weirdo!" and played it off, I wouldn't have been offended.

I'm not REALLY that offended, tbh. I'm not sitting here stewing over it. I just thought it was bizarre and wondered if others thought so too.

spockforprez

KatCtoKatA said:

Is the hand-towel fancy in some way?  Like, my mom likes to put out hand-towels that are covered in seasonally appropriate embroidered appliques, and look like they might be decorative, not for actual use.  I could see someone feeling uncomfortable about using something like that for actual hand drying.

Nah, just the ol' $3 Walmart special. Maybe that's why she didn't want to use it?! 

STARMOON44

Weird and rude. Use the towel there or figure out another solution that doesn't involve bothering your host. 

drunkenwitch

Very weird.  I'm fussy about towels and change the hand towel in the bathroom weekly.  I would definitely raise an eyebrow at that.

MesmrEwe

While she could have handled it a bit better with her acting job, I'll admit - I'm leery about using the "community towel" at other people's houses regardless of how clean nor decorative it is - really...  I'm also not a typical germophobe type, but I don't consider it odd of her to ask for a paper towel to use..  As another mentioned, many people have immune system issues and never say a word to anyone about them - a couple years ago I was on antibiotics for close to a year to get chronic infections under control, so yes, I now do my best to avoid contact in high risk areas, the community towel is just one of them...

tigerlily6

Yeah, I would find such behavior odd and a bit insulting also. I try to change our towels fairly regularly just for private use, and if I know we'll have a guest (we don't host incredibly regularly), I make a point of always putting out a fresh hand towel beforehand. Strange indeed. 

SP29

A bit odd. I wouldn't take it personally, some people are very particular about germs.

I have a co-worker who will not eat any food that her hand has touched, even though she has washed them prior. If she is eating a sandwich, she always holds the same part, and then doesn't eat that last little piece where her fingers were. Or she uses a fork/spoon to eat finger foods. Uses an alcohol swab to clean her utensil before eating.

I was also recently at another co-workers home for a small get together and noticed in her bathroom she had a hand towel hanging, but then had these disposal Kleenex-brand hand towels on the counter. I'd never seen those before- but they are interesting.

I am so not a germaphobe.

JeeGooDowster

I think asking for the paper towel is OK.  But everything else that happened afterwards was annoying and I'd be miffed too.

thisismynickname2

Apparently I'm one of the least germophobic people here, haha. I have zero issues using hand towels in someone else's home. My logic? People who used a towel washed their hands (or at least rinsed... blugh). I'd hope that anything lingering on that towel is reasonably innocuous and not going to get me sick. 

Seriously, I get more sick germs from my husband than from other peoples' homes, or work, or the great outdoors.  

MrsMack10612

@ernursej
Where did you get these towels you use?  I think that's a great solution and would love to do something similar.

ernursej

@MrsMack10612 I bought them at Bed Bath and Beyond. I'm from Canada so not sure if they have in your city, but I've seen similar things at basic home stores before.

aurianna

So... I think hand towels are gross. Even if they seem clean, those things develop mold and bacteria super easily and quickly. I use paper towels in my own home and in others' I do not use the hand towels. I wave my hands over the sink (or better bathtub if they have it) as much as I can without getting water everywhere, then I see if there's a place on my own clothes I can wipe them that won't show the water marks...

That said, I would never go into someone's home and ask them for an alternative to their towel or make a big show of it.

charlotte989875

You all are freaking me out about all the hand towels I've touched at other people's homes now.

MrsMack10612

Thanks @ernursej  I'll give a look.

sal2015

I was horrified when a guest used my hand towel a little too much. She was over for lunch and washed her hands after eating. She dried her hands on my hand towel in the kitchen and then wiped her mouth on it too! I was shocked and horrified. I had provided napkins while we were eating, so I wasn't just a lousy host, I guess. I don't usually have a problem using hand towels in other people's homes, but I would never dream of nor want to wipe my mouth on one, not even the one in my own bathroom!