Recently, I found myself attracted to a friend and colleague in my grad program. I asked her out a couple of months ago and she said no—she likes me as a friend but thinks we’re too different for anything deeper (I’m introverted, and she’s a social butterfly). We’re still friends and I have a lot of fun with her, but our interactions are superficial and mostly in the context of our mutual friend group. I keep thinking that I’d love to spend more time with her and be closer platonic friends, but I’m not sure how to ask for that without seeming like I won’t take “no” for an answer. We’re in year two of an eight-year program, so we’re going to be in each others’ lives regardless, for better or worse. Is it worth the risk to try and ask for something more—and, if so, how?
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