Pre-wedding Parties

Having trouble choosing between what I want and what I think others will like...

edited May 2016 in Pre-wedding Parties
My bachelorette party is in June and I am having trouble settling on a location. I live in Northern California, and the two destinations I am torn between are Reno and Disneyland.

If it were up to me, and I was in charge of the party, I would choose Disneyland. The reason I hesitate is a) I don't know if everyone else would be as excited as I would be and b) my sister (who is my matron of honor and best friend) doesn't really enjoy Disneyland. It's very low on her list of places she would like to go. 

Disneyland will run everyone about $50 more per person total and require a longer drive. It's basically my favorite place to go. 

Reno is marginally cheaper and a much shorter drive (half the time). It's also a typical/traditional bachelorette party destination.

I don't have a close, core group of friends. My guest list is made up of my individual friends (who don't hang out with each other without me), family, and friends I've met through my sister. I want everyone to have fun, and I'm afraid Disneyland will be boring or childish for people who aren't me.

My sister wants me to pick the location, because it is my party and I don't have a close group of people to get together and plan it. It's basically just my sister (and maybe my two bridesmaids, if they have time) putting the trip details together.

So, if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Re: Having trouble choosing between what I want and what I think others will like...

  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm not familiar with the west coast so I think it depends on how far and how long this trip will take. If disneyland is a one day trip and all I'm paying for is my ticket, my food/drinks at the park and splitting gas and the price of some mouse ears, I would be fine even if it's not my idea of the best day ever.

    Agree with charlotte that a weekend getaway with people that are strangers except for you sounds awkward.

    Especially if it involves one person paying upfront for hotels , buying tickets together etc. it really stinks when people back out at the last minute. Almost every single destination bach party I've been a part of some version of this has happened, ESPECIALLY when the host is not close with those invited. 

  • ei34ei34 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    As a guest, especially if I don't really know anyone else in attendance, I want whichever is less of a destination BP.  Would both Disneyland and Reno require getting a hotel room, or is one of them a one-day thing?  Especially if your sister doesn't know your guests very well either, from a logistical standpoint it's easier wrangling a group of people when it's a simpler event. 
  • bohobrideCAbohobrideCA San Diego, CA member
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm personally a huge fan of destination bachelorette parties, my girlfriends and I end up going to Las Vegas once a year for them, just works out that way. If someone can't afford to go or it's not their thing, they don't have to go! 

    However, this is specific to my group, we are very much the Vegas party girl type. My MOH enthusiastically started planning an LV destination bachelorette party for me as soon as I told her FI proposed. I wouldn't plan this for myself and I would definitely not tell her it's what I wanted to do if I knew she disliked Las Vegas. Disneyland is expensive and knowing your sister doesn't enjoy it doesn't seem worth it to me. Save it for a trip with FI!
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
    edited May 2016
    Ditto to staying out of it and rethinking a destination party (I'm assuming it would be at least one or more nights away - please correct me if I'm wrong).  

    I think destination parties can work with an established tight knit group, but this is a group of women whose only connection to each other is you. Personally I think that can be pretty awkward. Even traveling with friends can be tough depending on the personalities. I think with destination parties the host really needs to be in touch with the entire guest list and taking them into consideration. I know if you're asking me to pay for airfare or gas money and a hotel room I sure as heck would like input into where we go or at least have my budget considered. If your sister isn't close enough with this group of women to be able to contact them ahead of time to discuss these sorts of options then perhaps a destination party isn't the appropriate option for this group of people.

    Either that or she can just pick one, but then be comfortable with the fact that you may get more declines from people who don't care for thst type of location, cant afford it, or just dont want to or can't spend that amount of time away on something they didn't have input on.  It's just the hazards of party planning, particularly destination parties when you're picking for them. Can't make everything work for everybody.
  • Thanks for all the input! Destination bachelorette parties are pretty much the norm around here. I just went to one for our friend in Tahoe a few weeks ago (a location that the bride chose). Not all of the girls knew each other, but we all came out of the trip as Facebook friends.

    My sister opted to make a FB event page and let people vote on what destination works best for them. Almost all of the people I suggested for the guest list had previously shown an interest in going, even knowing that they wouldn't know everyone there.

    However it all works out, it will be fine. Disneyland was my first choice, but if the girls who want to come (and are paying to come) prefer Reno, I would much rather do that. I have some really nasty anxiety around surprises and traveling, which is why my sister gave me the choice. But everything will turn out fabulous, no matter where we go.

    Thank you again! I definitely needed some objective input!
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2016
    @CMGragain I don't think it's your age showing, I'm 26 and I'm baffled at the fact that a group of women who don't know each other want to spend a ton of money and share a hotel room on a destination bachelorette party...

    I'm all for a night out on the town with a few girls I'm close with or hanging out at a house with them but at the end of night I want to end up in my own bed and save these trips for time with DH!

    Thanks for all the input! Destination bachelorette parties are pretty much the norm around here. I just went to one for our friend in Tahoe a few weeks ago (a location that the bride chose). Not all of the girls knew each other, but we all came out of the trip as Facebook friends.

    Oh and I'm sorry but I have to snark at this. We all know being fb friends is totally a huge accomplishment, I mean you can't become bffs without being fb friends first right?

    I agree that the trend for these destination trips seems unnecessary and frivolous.  Orchestrating them is typically a hassle and headache.  Even under the best of work situations, giving up an entire weekend has me playing "catch up" the entire following week.

    I also paired an eye roll with a snort regarding the Facebook comment. 

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