Thank You Notes...Thing of the Past???

thisismynickname2

cupcait927 said:

flantastic said:

@flantastic This is very similar to my upbringing - gifts were usually opened in front of the gift-giver and if they weren't, my parents had me call the relative to say thank you. I was never brought up to send thank you cards because as @flantastic said, verbal thank yous always seemed to be enough.

The way I was brought up, if gifts were opened in front of the receiver with verbal thanks, no note. If not, a note was necessary. 
This may be partially because all my relatives were overseas. We got packages in the mail with fair frequency, but overseas phone calls were expensive, haha.

My TYs were 10 for a buck at a local craft store. They were cream colored and said "thank you" in a nice script, so I thought that was a steal!

Luckily, when I have received picture TY notes from others, the people have had the good sense to use handwriting and a personal note. Whew.  

cupcait927

On the topic of where everyone bought thank you cards, I got a package of 100 from Walmart for dirt cheap - they were gorgeous cream colored cards with gold polka dots. Very pretty and not wedding themed so I've been able to keep using them for other gifts we've received since the wedding (because now I'm paranoid and write thank you cards for everything). 

wink0erin

I mean I was raised to write thank you notes. Every Christmas I would get some new stationary and stickers and I used that to start writing the notes ON CHRISTMAS DAY. Even when I was very little my Mom would write a note and have me sign my name or draw a picture. As an adult I send thank you notes as soon as possible. 

It bothers me big time when I don't receive a personalized, preferably handwritten, thank you note. Those photo cards are the worst (unless they write a personal message on the back) and don't get me started on having to address my own envelope at a shower, especially when said envelope gets mailed to me with an unsigned photo postcard.

ILoveBeachMusic

wink0erin said:

I mean I was raised to write thank you notes. Every Christmas I would get some new stationary and stickers and I used that to start writing the notes ON CHRISTMAS DAY. Even when I was very little my Mom would write a note and have me sign my name or draw a picture. As an adult I send thank you notes as soon as possible. 

It bothers me big time when I don't receive a personalized, preferably handwritten, thank you note. Those photo cards are the worst (unless they write a personal message on the back) and don't get me started on having to address my own envelope at a shower, especially when said envelope gets mailed to me with an unsigned photo postcard.

The bolded is what I did with my children. I hope as adults they know to write thank you notes. I still remind my recent college graduate son, as a matter of fact he has grad gifts waiting for him when he comes home this week. He also has new thank you notecards on which to write the notes!

mollybarker11

I also wasn't raised to write thank-you notes, but I was always taught to call the gift-giver on the phone to thank them if the gift wasn't given to me in person.

A phone call is thoughtful and personal (you get to chat a bit as well), but everyone likes to get mail. It feels increasingly special as time goes on I think.

Tyvm

On the topic of where everyone bought thank you cards, I got a package of 100 from Walmart for dirt cheap - they were gorgeous cream colored cards with gold polka dots. 

@cupcait927 Amazon also has a lot of pretty nice 60/$10 thank you postcards, and also 36/$13 thank you cards+envelopes which aren't the most ugly. Here: http://www.amazon.com/60-Postcards-9-95-Different-Patterns/dp/B00S8YKXVQ/

It really doesn't have to be difficult or expensive to write out a quick thank you note!

SP29

I also wasn't raised to send TY notes- I've learned this as an adult and realized there are a few times in my life (as a child or teen) where I should have sent a TY note but didn't.

As for receiving TY notes from weddings- it's been half and half for us. A few of my friends are REALLY on the ball- it's nice to see. In 2 particular cases I haven't received in anything, and I think in both of those scenarios didn't receive a TY after the shower either. I choose to chalk it up to ignorance. My other friend promptly sent TY cards after her shower, but we just received a TY card from the wedding at the end of April for an August wedding- oh well, I'd rather late than never!

DH bought our TY cards at a local stationary store (in the mall though- easy peasy to get). Still generically made (20 in a box, or whatever). I'd much rather a personal note sent on a cheap card (it's not the card that is important anyway), than a generic message. I don't hate personal photo TY cards- I like a nice photo from the wedding, but I agree that it needs to be done punctually (3 months or less is my personal "OK" zone) and a personalized note.

PaperTigersx

I tend to go all out for my friends and their weddings. I know I don't need to be thanked, but I definitely appreciate it 

all but one of my friends have written me a handwritten thank you note. The one who didn't? I'll admit there's some bitterness there. I put thought into my gifts (even from a registry. If I know you love to cook, I'm probably buying a LOT of the cooking things you added) 
i did have one friend who noticed my "theme" of gifts and mentioned it In her thank you. I loved that 

even if thank yous were going out of style, I'd still write them. In short, You shouldn't buy a gift just to be thanked, but it's never bad to feel appreciated! 

CMGragain

I have a lot of baggage with thank you notes.  My mother loved to give gifts, afterwards telling you how much the gift cost and insisting on a thank you note.  I would dutifully write them, but she would continue demanding thanks, even after the note was sent - sometimes for years.
When my children received gifts, they knew to thank Grandma, and at least my daughter wrote thank you notes.  Mom finished every phone call with a lecture for me on why my son never wrote her thank you notes.  (He was ADD and disgraphic.  This was pre-computers, and Mom never learned to use them, anyway.)  This went on for 37 years.
Mom was abusive.  This is why we never visited often and lived across the country.  One of the last things she said to me was to demand thanks for my college education, which she claimed to have paid for "all by herself".  This was simply not true.  My late father's veteran's benefits and social security benefits paid for my tuition, and I worked and got scholarships.  She was married to another man while I was in college.
At the funeral home, I put a thank you note in her casket.  Seemed appropriate.
Yeah, bad baggage...but I still send them.

kvruns

cupcait927 said:

On the topic of where everyone bought thank you cards, I got a package of 100 from Walmart for dirt cheap - they were gorgeous cream colored cards with gold polka dots. Very pretty and not wedding themed so I've been able to keep using them for other gifts we've received since the wedding (because now I'm paranoid and write thank you cards for everything). 

Mine were JoAnn/Michaels type place with a 50% off coupon so I think it was either $10 for 100 or maybe $5 for 100. And definitely something that can be used for any occasion. At first I thought picture cards would be cool but then I realized I didn't know when I'd get my pix back and cards like that are always so expensive so what is the point.

CaseyBoBasey

We attended a wedding last September and one on New Years Eve, and so far neither couple has sent us a thank you note. I tend to write thank you notes for pretty much everything, since I think there's no harm in sending a potentially unnecessary thank you, so it's pretty irritating to me that these two couples haven't sent any acknowledgement to us.

flantastic

CaseyBoBasey said:

We attended a wedding last September and one on New Years Eve, and so far neither couple has sent us a thank you note. I tend to write thank you notes for pretty much everything, since I think there's no harm in sending a potentially unnecessary thank you, so it's pretty irritating to me that these two couples haven't sent any acknowledgement to us.

Did you bring a gift? Because if not, the reception was your thank you and acknowledgment (assuming they greeted you at some point).

CaseyBoBasey

CaseyBoBasey said:

We attended a wedding last September and one on New Years Eve, and so far neither couple has sent us a thank you note. I tend to write thank you notes for pretty much everything, since I think there's no harm in sending a potentially unnecessary thank you, so it's pretty irritating to me that these two couples haven't sent any acknowledgement to us.

Did you bring a gift? Because if not, the reception was your thank you and acknowledgment (assuming they greeted you at some point).

Yep, we gave money to the first couple and a physical gift to the second couple. 

CajunBride102817

At least I know I'm not the only one in this boat! It just boggles my mind because I know this particular family has not "forgot" about thank you notes. They've just chose to not do them. But let it be me that doesn't write them a thank you note after my wedding (which I'm planning on writing them so don't freak out) and holy cow, I'll be called down on and probably be called anything but grateful. I had no idea this thread would get this much feedback! I'm so happy it did though!  

Heffalump

wink0erin said:

I mean I was raised to write thank you notes. Every Christmas I would get some new stationary and stickers and I used that to start writing the notes ON CHRISTMAS DAY. Even when I was very little my Mom would write a note and have me sign my name or draw a picture. As an adult I send thank you notes as soon as possible.

My mom used to do this with me, too!  TBH, I haaaaaaated it at the time.  Now I am genuinely appreciative that she taught me good manners.  I should probably tell her that.

That's also why I make my kids do them.  I don't flatter myself that people are dying for one of DS's scribbles above my note ("Dat's macaroni cheese!"), but I do it for him.  DD is almost 7 now, and literally can't remember a time when she didn't do thank you notes--it's like washing her hands or wearing her seatbelt, just part of life.  So I think by starting as soon as they can put crayon to paper and keeping it up, they'll reach adulthood knowing how to write a good TY note.

(Also, our cards were photo cards.  But my photographer was amazing and had a couple of images ready to go when we returned from our HM, and we handwrote the notes inside.  I think the last one hit the mail two weeks to the day after our wedding, which I realize wasn't a world's record, but I was satisfied.)